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Am I amazing for not wanting to do this **TRIGGER WARNING**

(180 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 03:39:35

At 3.38 this day 2 years ago I was pulled from the wrong side of a bridge by policemen.

I have worked bloody hard to sort my head out.

I have put on nearly 6 stone (and counting) through meds.

I am allowed to live with DD alone grin

I'm doing bloody good

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 03:40:46

I can honestly say, for the first time in ten years....

I DO NOT WANT TO KILL MYSELF

Paninotogo Wed 31-May-17 03:42:34

Yes. I hope your good health continues.

LewisFan Wed 31-May-17 03:46:22

That is brilliant grin

Long may your happiness and strength to overcome things continue

WanderingTrolley1 Wed 31-May-17 03:48:05

You are amazing!

Good luck with the rest of your journey.

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 03:59:10

Thank you- I don't have real life people to share with smile

BritInUS1 Wed 31-May-17 04:03:12

Fabulous, well done you :D xxx

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 04:06:37

It is the first time I've dared think it yet alone write it down! I actually want to be alive!!!!

thestamp Wed 31-May-17 04:13:08

what a wonderful thread, may you be richly blessed and continue to go from strength to strength.

ChristineAndTheQueens Wed 31-May-17 04:13:39

Oh OP this is amazing, it's made me teary! Bloody well done!

pumpkin17 Wed 31-May-17 04:16:36

Such a lovely thing to read! Made me smile grin

You are amazing!!

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 04:16:45

DD is snoring away next to me, I want to squish her with love! I was so close to losing her, and the rest of my family.

I have been so lucky that my family (after a break from me) gave me another chance. Mumsnet helped me too, when I was homeless I was sent some clothes by a lovely user of the site, I have them aside to pass on to someone else in need now.

I just hope I can keep Level

Evilstepmum01 Wed 31-May-17 04:17:35

You are amazing! I cant imagine how hard these last two years must have been, so well done! You should be proud of yourself! Bet your DD is very proud!
Best wishes for the future!

Imstickingwiththisone Wed 31-May-17 04:17:36

Well done OP you've been through the shittest of times and more than beat it, you're a very strong person. Best wishes to you and your DD flowers

Ginger782 Wed 31-May-17 04:18:30

flowerssmile

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 04:19:12

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I know it sounds big headed but I'm so proud of myself-every minute is a struggle but I'm working towards when I can take it hour by hour then day by day x

Youvegotafriendinme Wed 31-May-17 04:22:41

Well done. You are amazing and should be so proud of yourself. It's a bloody hard, long and lonely road and you've done it flowers

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 04:27:41

I'm still on the road, I know that, but it's another bridge I've crossed knowing I actually like life. And it's a HUGE one!

AngeloMysterioso Wed 31-May-17 04:30:42

Bloody well done OP 🌟 if every day is a battle, then every day you get through is a victory. Onwards and upwards! You've got this!!

TanteRose Wed 31-May-17 04:32:46

Well done OP - give your DD a big squishy hug smileflowers

Wonders71 Wed 31-May-17 04:34:22

Well done.....nothing beats your child sleeping next to you x

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 04:36:20

We are bed sharers, she may be nearly 7 but it works for us

TattiePants Wed 31-May-17 04:39:52

So very pleased for you and sending best wishes for the fabulous future you will have with your DD.

PulyaSochsup Wed 31-May-17 04:47:29

It's a bloody awful road, but making the choice to live is a brave one. Please, be very kind to yourself and your little girl and remember that you deserve to be alive and for happiness to be part of what you give and receive. Well done, it took immense bravery to accept help. Keep going and let yourself heal.

callmehannahbaker Wed 31-May-17 04:53:20

I'm being really kind to myself-got my first haircut in 3 years booked for next week-very nervous!

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