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DH has died - niffler

(349 Posts)
Nifflerbowtruckle Tue 26-Dec-17 12:14:23

Husband now terminalhttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lifelimitingg_illness/3050597-husband-now-terminal

We filled the last thread. Thank you all for every good thought you have sent my way.

Amber0685 Tue 26-Dec-17 13:07:24

I am glad you have started a new thread Niffler. You have a lot of people wishing you well and I hope that helps. How is Pil's dog? Are you heading home tomorrow? Any thoughts on what you will do with DHs ashes? Of course you don't need to decide in any hurry.

Nifflerbowtruckle Tue 26-Dec-17 14:54:22

PIL dog is fine now they reckon he probably ate something he shouldn't have. I'll be going home tomorrow for a few days. DH wanted his ashes scattered in a couple of different places and I'll be getting a necklace made too.

SingaSong12 Tue 26-Dec-17 15:08:59

Best wishes Niffler (and you DDog) flowers

Amber0685 Tue 26-Dec-17 23:11:12

The necklace is a lovely idea. I hope you find it a bit easier having a break from the PIL.

Nifflerbowtruckle Wed 27-Dec-17 17:24:31

I've arrived back home. It's so nice to be around our things again but I did have a little cry reading the sympathy cards I had been sent. I feel a little numb now. I swing from devastation to emptiness.

The dog is happy to be in her own environment now too.

KeziaOAP Wed 27-Dec-17 17:47:27

Niffler good that you're now back in your own home, being in your own environment and being able to grieve as you want will help. Do you have RL friends close by if you feel the need to talk to someone? So many people on here thinking of you and wishing you well.

Apileofballyhoo Wed 27-Dec-17 17:50:50

Glad you started a new thread. It must have been a very strange day on Christmas Day.

Nifflerbowtruckle Wed 27-Dec-17 18:24:35

I don't have any friends nearby but my neighbours are excellent and have been so kind to me and I know if I needed it I could knock on either of their doors and they'd look after me.

Christmas was really strange. Everyone was just really flat and although there were some laughs it was clear someone was missing.

Giraffey1 Wed 27-Dec-17 18:31:49

Ah, Niffler, I’m glad you are back home with the dog. I hope you find some comfort - like the dog! - in being in your own surroundings x

underthebluemoon Wed 27-Dec-17 18:35:35

Glad you are home.

Nifflerbowtruckle Wed 27-Dec-17 19:49:22

My ndn has just reinforced why I love my little Home. She noticed I was home and gave me a card and box of chocolates and in the card wrote that I have a good friend next door if I need anything and left me her number.

underthebluemoon Wed 27-Dec-17 20:56:12

Oh how lovely. May you be surrounded by care and friendship flowers

Amber0685 Thu 28-Dec-17 14:29:28

That's lovely of your ndn, glad you are home

Wrongwayup Thu 28-Dec-17 17:08:46

Glad you are home. Give your lovely dog a cuddle. Sorry if I missed this but do you work? Just wondering about you going back. X

Nifflerbowtruckle Thu 28-Dec-17 18:37:17

I don't work* Wrong*. My contract ended November last year so we decided it would be wiser to become his carer since he was in and out of hospital. It's something I need to rectify soon.

NoKnownFather Thu 28-Dec-17 22:48:53

Don't normally speak for other people, but in your case I think all of the regulars on your thread were thinking of you and your dog over the holidays. I know I was!

I was in the same situation with my job and decided to take a couple of months to find the 'new' me, but another staff member resigned and they were short-staffed, so it was back to work within a couple of weeks, much sooner than planned but all was OK.

Look after yourself, everything will be a 'bit strange' for quite a while....mostly I found it took a year for all the first anniversaries to pass, before things returned to the new normal.

flowers

Ilikesweetpeas Thu 28-Dec-17 22:51:14

Hi Niffler, I thought about you over Christmas. I’m glad that you have lovely neighbours. Hope that things go well for you over the next few weeks. Having a necklace made is a lovely idea flowers

Nifflerbowtruckle Fri 29-Dec-17 16:03:33

Thank you both. I think the next few months will be hard. In May we would have been together 10 years and just over a week later would have celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary.

I told DH before he died that after he did I would become the crazy dog lady I'm still contemplating it.

SingaSong12 Fri 29-Dec-17 22:53:42

Glad you are home brew

1forAll74 Sat 30-Dec-17 03:13:48

Just came across all your postings on here Niffler. All the awful sadness that has happened to you,, but have seen how caring and devoted you have been to your late husband. You have written so well, and with such honesty about yourself, and your husbands illness. You and he, much too young to have such an awful happening.
Best wishes to you, but perhaps too soon to say happy new year to you,,but hope you will be happy again soon.

Nifflerbowtruckle Sat 30-Dec-17 15:28:04

Thank you singasong and 1forall. We never did anything special on new year as neither of us were big drinkers so I don't think it will be a particularly difficult day compared to the others. His birthday will be hard especially as we both liked to spoil each other a bit. It's his brothers birthday in a few weeks too.

Amber0685 Sat 30-Dec-17 16:18:02

I think a lot of people say the first year without someone is the hardest so many firsts, Xmas, birthdays, anniversaries etc I hope you continue to be as strong as you have been Niffler.

sarahC40 Sun 31-Dec-17 01:07:23

Niffler, wishing you well. In my experience, those firsts are really strange and can be tough, but it’s moments on ordinary days that are harder. Hoping that the strength that you’ve shown so far will carry you - nothing wrong with being a crazy dog lady imo (with nice neighbours) Good luck.

HappyHedgehog247 Sun 31-Dec-17 01:13:58

I'm happy to think of you back in your home with ddog and the lovely neighbours. I was thinking of you over Christmas. Will you look for a new contract in the same field/place?

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