Does anyone here neglect themselves in small ways?

(433 Posts)
FortunesFave Fri 16-Apr-21 14:59:31

Not big ways like not eating for days or never washing...but weird little ways.

I do! And I was trying to work out why...for example. I realised today that I only have about 5 pairs of knickers and they're all full of holes. I have a few fancy lacy ones but they're uncomfortable and only for fun times... no everyday ones that aren't fit for the rag bag.

I mean...I can afford them! So why haven't I got them! I went out and sorted that out today....and I started thinking that when I was growing up, after about 14 or so, my Mum just stopped buying me any clothes.

She did get me a winter coat every year and shoes but nothing else.

Could that be why I habitually forget to get things like these basics?

What about you? Do you neglect anything weird like that?

OP’s posts: |
Noideaatall Fri 16-Apr-21 16:24:39

It wasn't that long ago that I realised I could buy fully waterproof shoes, and a warm coat. I've spent my whole life just resigned to being cold and wet in winter. Like you, I can afford it but it just didn't occur to me. Not that I've actually bought them, of course grin but at least I know they exist now...

PasstheBucket89 Fri 16-Apr-21 17:37:12

yeah definitely same with pyjamas, mine are awful but i wear them till they fall apart, i dont like waste and to get my wear out of things, so maybe thats an element.?

OldEvilOwl Fri 16-Apr-21 17:49:45

Yes. Maybe its how our parents raised us? I find myself doing this with things

topcat2014 Fri 16-Apr-21 17:51:51

@FortunesFave that is poor showing by your mother. What did she expect you to be clothed in!

SpringtimeSummertime Fri 16-Apr-21 17:58:13

There was a thread on here ages and ages ago about parents 'stopping buying clothes' when people reached their teens. Mine did the same! I got a small amount of pocket money but really struggled and had really awful underwear, bras and night clothes. I had one school shirt too!
We were not at all poor. It's very strange looking back!

SpringtimeSummertime Fri 16-Apr-21 18:00:06

I am the same with night clothes... I also wear them until they fall apart!

BadgertheBodger Fri 16-Apr-21 18:01:50

I run, absolutely loads, half marathons and all sorts besides. And yet, my running gear is frankly a load of cheap shite because I won’t spend money on it. We can afford it, I somehow just don’t feel like I should have it. I can’t bring myself to spend more than about £50 for a pair of trainers and any accessories I’ve got have been given to me second hand or bought cheaply in sales (and as a result nothing is just quite right). I don’t know why I do this at all!

Lollypop701 Fri 16-Apr-21 18:03:42

I end up replenishing mine when dd needs underwear... because I don’t consider mine 😂 pjs however I like so probably too many

ImaHogg Fri 16-Apr-21 18:04:25

For me it’s the comfort of the old tatty stuff. I can afford and do buy things like new underwear, pj’s and dressing gowns etc but constantly find those are shoved at the back of the wardrobe and I’m still wearing the baggy, tatty, holey stuff. Same with make up, I buy new stuff but still end up going back to the old manky bits. I’m not sure why I do that?

FrankButchersDickieBow Fri 16-Apr-21 18:16:31

I cannot remember the last time I bought myself new knickers. And like you, I have no idea why.

I barely buy myself new clothes or pj's.

We're far from skint.

It's odd isn't it!

kowari Fri 16-Apr-21 18:19:02

I don't like buying new and throwing away things that are not suitable for passing on. So I wear things like pyjamas until they are completely worn out. I have issues with not wanting much stuff so can't just buy new and keep the old either. No problem with things I just don't like but someone else can use.

HerRoyalNotness Fri 16-Apr-21 18:21:36

Putting up with pain, headaches, hangovers etc.. it never occurred to me to take medicine for it. I saw my friend popping something for a hangover and a light bulb went off. I felt really dim! Probably stems from childhood, we were expected to just get on with it

Spied Fri 16-Apr-21 18:23:55

I can't bring myself to spend money on bras so I have two I rotate. I have had them for 8-10 years.shock
I have also never bought a pair of socks. I steal ds's socks but before he was born I've no idea where I sourced them from.
I find it difficult to buy myself a bottle of water/juice if I'm out and about, say at a park. I'll buy for the dc but I feel it's frivolous to buy myself a drink when we've drinks at home. ( I do buy in restaurants)

OneRingToRuleThemAll Fri 16-Apr-21 18:26:19

After going without as a child and then being financially abused in my first marriage, I make a conscious effort to allow myself the same standard of living as everyone else in the house. So if others have a decent coat and shoes then so do I. If I can afford good quality all round then I won't be left out.

My children's needs come before my needs, but their wants don't come before my needs. We are all as important as each other.

ELCSPlease Fri 16-Apr-21 18:26:44

Oh god this is me 🙈 it's a quality I really dislike about myself too...

My DH is forever telling me to treat myself, even going so far as to giving me his card in case it's the thought of spending my own money that bothers me 🤷🏼‍♀️ but I seem to struggle with what I have rather than buying what I need.

I got quite embarrassed when I realised I was starting to get a bit scruffy, and that I wouldn't like it if DH stopped taking any pride in himself and yet that's exactly what I was doing. Madness.

ImAlrightThanx Fri 16-Apr-21 18:27:21

I neglect to go to the dentist, opticians etc.
I probably need glasses, but keep putting it off!

1Morewineplease Fri 16-Apr-21 18:29:49

My hair.
I hate going to the hairdresser and just wash it and pin it up.

Tlollj Fri 16-Apr-21 18:29:50

This women all over. But things for your dcs no problem but feel guilty somehow buying for ourselves. @OneRingToRuleThemAll has the right idea.

SparkyTheCat Fri 16-Apr-21 18:30:07

I really should get a proper skincare routine going. I keep on buying nice moisturiser then forgetting to use it.

Cosmos45 Fri 16-Apr-21 18:30:20

I am like this too and I can't work out why.. Can easily afford new underwear but end up wearing the same old greying torn M&S specials for years.. I have started to "treat" myself recently. It's so odd because I wouldn't think twice about forking out for my hair or expensive veneers etc.

Wymyny Fri 16-Apr-21 18:31:16

I definitely have the ‘don’t think to buy nice things’ issue. Probably don’t feel deep down like I deserve it. I have a weird self-sabotage thing going on too.

Creamcustards Fri 16-Apr-21 18:31:29

I don’t buy myself clothes because I keep thinking I will lose weight (just going from a 12 to a 10), and then I don’t. I haven’t bought new jeans for years!

I also often neglect myself in little ways. I’m a bit of a slob - I think that’s a form of self neglect.

Warrickdaviesasplates Fri 16-Apr-21 18:32:06

HerRoyalNotness

Putting up with pain, headaches, hangovers etc.. it never occurred to me to take medicine for it. I saw my friend popping something for a hangover and a light bulb went off. I felt really dim! Probably stems from childhood, we were expected to just get on with it


I'm exactly the same! DH takes cold medicine when he's ill and I still can't quite understand; it even though logically it makes sense not to suffer if you don't have to I just never think of it if it's me.

Also I very rarely go to the doctors or hospital for things. I've gone when pregnant but never just for being hurt like breaking a finger or ribs or for being ill.

Like you I suspect it was to do with my illnesses as a child being deemed unimportant and told to get on with it. (Weird looking back as my mum is a real drama queen about these things for herself and goes to the hospital for bloody everything, but refused to take me)

Mrgrinch Fri 16-Apr-21 18:32:58

I neglect my skincare and I get annoyed with myself for it. I love the way my skin looks when I look after it and I've got all the products but sometimes I just don't bother.

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