Does anyone here neglect themselves in small ways?

[FortunesFave]

Not big ways like not eating for days or never washing...but weird little ways.

I do! And I was trying to work out why...for example. I realised today that I only have about 5 pairs of knickers and they're all full of holes. I have a few fancy lacy ones but they're uncomfortable and only for fun times... no everyday ones that aren't fit for the rag bag.

I mean...I can afford them! So why haven't I got them! I went out and sorted that out today....and I started thinking that when I was growing up, after about 14 or so, my Mum just stopped buying me any clothes.

She did get me a winter coat every year and shoes but nothing else.

Could that be why I habitually forget to get things like these basics?

What about you? Do you neglect anything weird like that?

[whatisforteamum]

I think I am the opposite as I have lots of new knickers folded in a neat pile bras too.
Several pj s and dressing gowns.Dm stopped buying my clothes at p15 and I loved working to buy new ones.
We are on a tight budget so I am dreadful at cooking for others and eating bare minimum,leaving the heating off and watching tv upstairs.I haven't been to a hairdresser in 17 years! I cut and colour my own hair.

[speakout]

I agree about being a good role model and valuing yourself.

But it doesn't need to be about "stuff".
I take great care of myself, I do daily yoga, take long baths, time to myself in the forest, massage my feet, treat myself with compassion.
But I wear old comfy clothes.

[whatisforteamum]

I have never eaten out either or bought a pre made sandwich in decades.

[speakout]

Oh god, yes - we have a rule that the heating doesn't go on until 5pm, too

You don't live in Scotland then. has been minus 5 several nights this week.

[Seasidevibes]

Bought myself new knickers & bra’s the first time in ages after splitting with my partner. Not boring or sexy ones, just really nice ones that I’d felt unable to buy before. I either spent the bare minimum on basics that were very practical or had the ex buy me “sexy” stuff that Was expensive and I ended up hating because sex was expected if I wore them.

[EveningOverRooftops]

Cut my own hair and rarely do facials. Making so with clothes that are too big at the mo and repairing stuff rather than replace but happily spent £400 on toe nail surgery because NHS wait lists were too long.

[LadyJaye]

@speakout

Oh god, yes - we have a rule that the heating doesn't go on until 5pm, too

You don't live in Scotland then. has been minus 5 several nights this week.

I absolutely do.

We just put more jumpers on.

[LadyJaye]

I grew up in a Glaswegian Edwardian-era tenement with single glazing and no heating, bar the gas fires in the living room and kitchen.

I'm pretty good with cold.

[Pumpkyumpkyumpkin]

Horrid old knickers/bra here too...I do occasionally buy myself new ones but I'll buy the cheapest Tesco / Primark ones I can find which go tatty really quickly. But then I'll happily spend a tenner on a bottle of wine, or a nice coffee and cake, a takeaway, a toy for the dog, or stuff for the house. Whyyyy????

Also things like I have plenty of time in my hands to e.g. give myself a pedicure and paint my toenails, I could do it weekly. But instead it gets done about once every 6 weeks when my feet are like hooves and most of the nail varnish has come off. But I spend hours each week cooking and baking and reading and watching TV. So weird.

When it comes to treating / looking after me its like I can't be bothered. I'm sure there's some deep rooted childhood reason in there somewhere.

[Janedownourlane]

HowmanyToes Please consider finding a way of staying hydrated. I was exactly the same as you, couldnt get to the loo til break time...but, I'm now retired after nearly 30 years teaching full time and have bladder/cystitis problems. It's definitely not worth it. I used to have to ask someone to come and cover for a couple of minutes and its often inconvenient, but there are long term health issues. Now, as to my bad knees from getting up hundreds of times a day from those tiny chairs...

[SheenMcQueen]

Yes so many of these, especially pants/sock replacement and haircuts.

Also, minor health issues: I've had backache for ever, a weird itchy patch thing on my foot, a sprained thumb that has never really healed and a recurring fanjo issue. I'd take DD to the dr for any single one of these, but I've not felt it warrants an appointment, even though it's been a couple of years of most of them.

Food. Always give myself the wonky/broken bit of food.

[LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag]

@Spied

I can't bring myself to spend money on bras so I have two I rotate. I have had them for 8-10 years.
I have also never bought a pair of socks. I steal ds's socks but before he was born I've no idea where I sourced them from.
I find it difficult to buy myself a bottle of water/juice if I'm out and about, say at a park. I'll buy for the dc but I feel it's frivolous to buy myself a drink when we've drinks at home. ( I do buy in restaurants)

I was the same with bras, until last year I had 2 and they were both droopy, unsupportive and uncomfortable then someone recommended Molke to me in the summer and now I own 6 bras and am considering buying more.
I also feel like I have to justify clothes buying and wear things until they aren't fit to be worn outside, they then become weekend slobby clothes until they are worn into holes. I do keep myself in good quality, comfortable socks, pants and good shoes though. I think this is all a hangover from my childhood where everything I wore was a hand-me-down, including underwear.
My husband is almost the opposite of me, if he wants or needs new clothes he buys them but has pants older than our relationship because although they're misshapen, holey and baggy they still stay up so he can't throw them away.

[Fuckitfuckit]

Yes, currently wearing a size 28 knickers. I'm currently a 16-18. It just doesn't occur to me to buy new. Not when these are ok!

[SnugglySnerd]

I have a really lovely warm dressing gown that my mum bought me but I always wear a really old cardie over my pjs in the morning/evening and then feel cold.
I also never think to buy new pants and when I do they are always Asda ones as buying posher ones feels a bit extravagant.
I have to throw DH's ancient holey socks away to force him to buy new ones so it isn't just me!

[MollysMummy2010]

I don’t eat. My mum left when I was 13 and my dad never had any food in the house. I got used to being hungry so I suppose I don’t notice now but I am modelling a very bad role to my daughter.

[EileenGC]

That’s me with work clothes. I could afford something nice, yet I only have about 3 sets all from primark or C&A, with the odd M&S top in there. I know they look awful, some don’t fit properly, I cringe every time I rewatch our TV appearances, yet I don’t buy new stuff. I think it’s the thought of doing it that wears me out.

[Wellyouknowbest]

Ive been talking about this today. I'm desperate for pants, only have two bras and one has a wire that i push in once an hour, it just feels extravagant and unnecessary to spend on myself . I wear the same few tops and jeans to go to work. Whereas my kids have drawers full and could go a week or more with different clothes every day.
I also dont really like the look of myself and only feel comfortable in my ratty joggers or pyjamas, none of which match

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Oh god, yes - we have a rule that the heating doesn't go on until 5pm, too
You don't live in Scotland then. has been minus 5 several nights this week.
I absolutely do. We just put more jumpers on.

Same here! In the North East so we get some arctic weather, too. I used to have a sign on the central heating controls that just said "Wear a gainsay!" for when the kids went to turn it on/up.

Not that they ever took any notice . . . pee'd me off seeing teenagers lounging about half-naked in a living room that was so hot the sodding CAT was lying collapsed full length desperately trying to breathe in cool air from under the bottom of the door!

[pollylocketpickedapocket]

@Shelovesamystery

I don't really remember my parents buying me clothes other than essentials for school. They must have done when I was young but from as early as I can remember I had to buy them out of birthday and Christmas money. That included things like underwear, socks, winter coat, shoes (other than school shoes) etc. And I really didn't get much birthday and Christmas money, maybe £40 each time. I had hardly any clothes, certainly not any well fitting underwear or bras (as a teen) as no one could see them anyway and I had to prioritise.

I've just realised how bad that was now that I've been reminded of it by this thread

I remember having the same 28aa bra at 16 when I was easily a 34c.
Also school shoes weren’t replaced as a punishment for bad behaviour, wasn’t being bought new shoes, they had holes in.
My mother could be a right cow when I look back.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

*gansey - not gainsay.

Autocarrot strikes again!

[Olaflovessummer]

Actually fairly lucky here... I haven’t bought stuff for myself for years and years, but...
My sister likes clothes shopping... probably too much. About once a year or so she’ll pass me a bin bag or two of clothes she’s decided she no longer likes/fits, some still with tags on. She’s a size bigger than me which is great for my post baby torso and waistline. I have boxes of her hand me down clothes under the bed ready to replace the old ones once they’ve got too many holes, tatty, bobbly. Then DH has them for his garage ragbag.
My Nan always buys me pyjamas/knickers for birthday/Christmas.
I had to spend some time in hospital with second baby. My mum kindly did some laundry for us, and was appalled at the colour of my “white” maternity bras (and yes, I do separate laundry). They’re were a couple of years old by then. She bought me two new ones.
I personally can’t stand clothes shopping for myself... don’t mind at all for my DH and sons, but not me!

[Olaflovessummer]

And several pairs of falling apart trainers, because they’ve just got to the “comfortable” stage, and I hate bedding in new shoes, it’s agony! I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid later this year, not looking forward to wearing heels at all.

[susiebluebell]

I was chronic for stuff like this until I met my partner about two years ago. He is dreadful for it, even worse than me, and was always walking around in one of three broken/ill-fitting pairs of shoes, yet never bought a new pair of good quality. Had jeans that were now too small but wouldn't throw them away after 15 years... Rarely went to the hairdresser or doctor unless it was truly something he couldn't avoid. He is one of the most selfless, kind, cheerful, patient and fun people I have ever met, yet had somehow got into a habit of doing everything for everybody else (including expensive food and toys for his dog) but would scrape by on the minimum for himself.

I couldn't bear it, partly because I didn't want to see the man I loved go without, but also partly annoyance that he didn't put 2 + 2 together and work out that if he kept buying £8 trainers from a supermarket, he was always going to be uncomfortable and constantly needing to replace them! I have started encouraging him to invest in more pricey things that would last a lifetime if he cared for them. We bought a good winter coat that he only agreed to buy if it was somehow 'for both of us' - but it's his really. And since seeing it from the outside, I've started being nicer to myself and investing in a few good quality things that will last. Nothing crazy, just a couple of good pairs of shoes, some new bras (seem to be on a lot of people's lists!), going to the hairdresser and waxing salon rather than botching the job at home. It has really made a positive difference in how I feel about life and myself too.

[Maray1967]

Just this morning I have been to M&S and got new pants that actually fit me. I’ve been wearing ones too small for years. Why haven’t I bought bigger ones? I have no idea. But I decided to get them today, have washed them all and will be wearing a pair tomorrow.
Next will be the trainers. Years old, past cleaning and a bit on the small side. Why on earth have I not bought new ones when I would never let my DC wear too-small shoes or trainers?
There must be something deeply ingrained in some of us that we shouldn’t spend on ourselves.

[LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag]

Another heating hater here. It feels so extravagant to heat a whole house for one person in one room. My husband laughs at me for trying to work while dressed like that gif of Joey (?) wearing all his flatmates clothes. This winter we actually put it on in the day when as both of us were here and it was a revelation.