Does anyone here neglect themselves in small ways?

[FortunesFave]

Not big ways like not eating for days or never washing...but weird little ways.

I do! And I was trying to work out why...for example. I realised today that I only have about 5 pairs of knickers and they're all full of holes. I have a few fancy lacy ones but they're uncomfortable and only for fun times... no everyday ones that aren't fit for the rag bag.

I mean...I can afford them! So why haven't I got them! I went out and sorted that out today....and I started thinking that when I was growing up, after about 14 or so, my Mum just stopped buying me any clothes.

She did get me a winter coat every year and shoes but nothing else.

Could that be why I habitually forget to get things like these basics?

What about you? Do you neglect anything weird like that?

[NoSquirrels]

The ‘under buyer’ description here really resonated with me:

gretchenrubin.com/2009/04/quiz-are-you-an-overbuyer-or-an-underbuyer/

[IncorrigibleTitmouse]

Definitely bras. I really resent how expensive a decent bra is, even though I can afford it. I wear the same bra every day, it’s ridiculous.

Tights are another thing I hate to spend money on. Always seems like a waste, but I don’t know why!

[ssd]

Id buy anything for the dcs but not for me

[Wurrg]

@HerRoyalNotness

Putting up with pain, headaches, hangovers etc.. it never occurred to me to take medicine for it. I saw my friend popping something for a hangover and a light bulb went off. I felt really dim! Probably stems from childhood, we were expected to just get on with it

Also being cold /too hot, dry hands, will go for hours thinking my hands are dry instead of using one of the multiple tubes of handcream I have.

[EmpressSuiko]

I neglect myself in a few ways but regularly forget my hair, I just never know how to manage it which might be down to having curly hair and my mum has straight hair, so she never knew what to do with it and it was always either brushed out and frizzy or in a ponytail. I’ve tried the CGM and getting some minor changes but it’s still such a struggle and hassle to keep on top of it.
Buying underwear always slips my mind, my husband is the same, we will buy clothes we need but keep underwear until it’s full of holes but I keep on top of when it comes to my children and buy for them as and when they need.

[EmpressSuiko]

Oh and I definitely don’t drink enough liquids, I’m always dehydrated and I know it but struggle to get into a routine!

[Treaclepie19]

Yep same. I often go the other way now and treat myself too much to make up for it.
I always couldn't believe my husbands mom still bought him things he needed even as an adult. Seemed so alien when I'd been buying my own with pocket money.

[Shelovesamystery]

I don't really remember my parents buying me clothes other than essentials for school. They must have done when I was young but from as early as I can remember I had to buy them out of birthday and Christmas money. That included things like underwear, socks, winter coat, shoes (other than school shoes) etc. And I really didn't get much birthday and Christmas money, maybe £40 each time. I had hardly any clothes, certainly not any well fitting underwear or bras (as a teen) as no one could see them anyway and I had to prioritise.

I've just realised how bad that was now that I've been reminded of it by this thread

[LittleGreenGoblin]

This is honestly one of the difficulties of adulthood. Once you stop outgrowing clothes, I genuinely have no idea how you're supposed to know it's time to replace clothes. Half my knickers have holes in because nobody sees them

[Craftycorvid]

I have loads of clothes and certainly don’t deny myself there, yet wandered around in a really ancient dressing gown and tatty odds and ends for nightwear for some reason. For my most recent birthday, I decided to become a reformed character and bought a ‘naice’ dressing gown to swish around in

[Luckyelephant1]

Yep pretty much all underwear and pyjamas. And even my nice bras for good times are old and don't even fit properly any more, haven't worn them for ages. Occasionally I have a minor meltdown and feel I'm in a rut and don't dress sexy for DH any more so get scared he's no longer attracted to me. But I still don't buy new bras 😂

Staying hydrated as well, it's such an easy way of being healthy yet I fail to do it most days! And I just don't know why!

[TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]

I've only got one set of night clothes too - which is my skin and I have noticed it's getting rather worn. The knees are baggy, the top half seems to have stretched and the bottom half is hanging way down.

Regrettably I don't think one can get the same one that I had many years ago...

[HosannainExcelSheets]

Yes, lots of small things. Clothes, skin care, hair care... It was a revelation when my sister bought me some nice clothes recently and I realized that I could just do that too. Every month if I wanted to. And nice moisturizer and make up. I can afford it, but somehow never quite bother.

I think it's a reflection of the fact that I don't respect and value myself as much as I should.

[JovialNickname]

I used to do this a lot, when I was drinking heavily (and for some time afterwards). Obviously the drinking was a form of self neglect too, but I also used to not bother with other smaller self care issues.

Recently I made a conscious decision not to neglect these things, and by extension myself, any more. I am the sort of person who would never, ever see anyone else go without - I wouldn't think twice about gifting someone money to buy some small thing they needed, and I don't have much money. I decided to apply the same principle to myself. If I had a child or friend that needed this thing, would I buy it for them, or make sure they had a means of getting it? If the answer is yes I buy it for myself as a priority and don't feel guilty. Even though it doesn't sound like much, I feel happy that I don't wear holey socks or too-small pants anymore, or wear a ratty old dressing gown because it feels like a waste to spend £10 on a new one. I feel better about myself and like the fact that I take care of me.

[Angrypregnantlady]

My shoes are always battered because I hate new shoes. I don't take pain killers, my midwife actually told me off for it.

[TokyoSushi]

Yes same here with underwear and also exercise stuff. In normal times, I go to a class twice a week, I have one pair of leggings, with a hole in that I bought in 2005, they're about £30 to replace which I think is too expensive, I have £30, I don't need to wear leggings with holes in, but I won't buy any more!

[Iamanunsafebuilding]

I literally decided today that I need new knickers, mine are all looking really scruffy! I've got next week off work so will go for a mooch around M&S, might buy a couple of new bras too...

[carawaybaby]

When I cook the dinner I serve the others and I have what is left after they have had what they want because 'I'm not very hungry'. I don't buy myself new clothes, I have 3 identical pairs of trousers, 3 identical tops and 1 pair of shoes that match them all. When I am not at work I only wear pjs so I don't wear out my work clothes.

[BoyTree]

I'm the same, although I don't think it stems from my childhood - I just hate change and it feels like another chore that I can't be arsed to do. Because it only affects me, I'll let things like that slide simply because it's a job I can get away with not doing. If I wait till things are desperate then I enjoy it more because the benefit to me is more immediate.

[SunshineCake]

Lately I have decided and learnt that I am worth it so bras that are uncomfortable get worn once more to check and then throw out/recycled. Pants with a hole in the wrong place are binned as are socks but I keep the other as like wearing odd socks. I through out a couple of tops as there was a hole under the arm but sewed up another one as it was doable.

Tomorrow, or even tonight on line, buy yourself some pants!

[Oblahdeeoblahdoe]

Moisturising my skin after showering. I know I need to do it but can't be arsed. Then I moan about my dry, crepey skin. I have loads of time and loads of products!

[Moelwynbach]

My parents bought me the minimum as a child and teen but because they struggled to afford things. As an adult I always go without. I buy my son a pair of shoes, wellies and trainers each time he sizes up buy never more than one at a time. I buy supermarket clothes for him but have enough money to buy additional and more. I still live like im really poor even though I have more than enough.

[SunshineCake]

Threw*

[Wbeezer]

I'm guilty of a lot of these and more; lockdown has been interesting as I have felt its acceptable to make do with what I have and cut out shopping etc.
I've neglected the dentist, the hairdresser and even my coil is past it's sell by date (don't panic, menopause confirmed by blood test).
My underwear is raggedy and i only ever bought it in the M&S outlet store which has now closed so i need a new plan.
I don't drink enough and let my kids eat all the fruit.
Very few shoes.
Tend to ask for essentials for presents, eg. Bags of manure for the garden!
I have finally indulged in a gym membership (just before lockdown of course!).
I think i might improve when the kids have left, i can feel something start to shift a bit (possibly menopause related).
Of to browse for clothes...

[FizzyPink]

When I met my DP I was shocked to find that before every holiday he would go and buy himself a new pack of boxers.

I thought it incredibly wasteful but actually if you’re wearing them every day, a new set once or twice a year is quite reasonable