Does anyone here neglect themselves in small ways?

[FortunesFave]

Not big ways like not eating for days or never washing...but weird little ways.

I do! And I was trying to work out why...for example. I realised today that I only have about 5 pairs of knickers and they're all full of holes. I have a few fancy lacy ones but they're uncomfortable and only for fun times... no everyday ones that aren't fit for the rag bag.

I mean...I can afford them! So why haven't I got them! I went out and sorted that out today....and I started thinking that when I was growing up, after about 14 or so, my Mum just stopped buying me any clothes.

She did get me a winter coat every year and shoes but nothing else.

Could that be why I habitually forget to get things like these basics?

What about you? Do you neglect anything weird like that?

[HurryUpBetelgeuse]

I remember recommending a sausage plait from aldi to a relative and overhearing her relaying the price to her husband in shocked undertones.

When she died, she was found to have thousands of pounds hidden away. I feel so sad for her, that she wasn't able to allow herself the "luxury" of an item from aldi.

She used to go on really cheap holidays too, and complained about them, when she could well have afforded ones that she might have enjoyed much more.

Please don't be like that, she deserved nice things, you deserve nice things, I deserve nice things.

Please treat yourselves as your budget allows.

[Puffalicious]

PM ed you StellaLeonte

[QuestionableMouse]

I am! It's so nice to have colours to pick from rather than just black, white and navy 😂😁

[StellaLeonte]

@SunshineCake

I've just spent all my birthday money on a new sports bra and several pairs of pants. Felt a bit eek when I pressed buy but it hasn't come out of housekeeping. I definitely didn't need them but the bra is ready for when the one I have a tear in does go too far and I don't have many pairs of pants in this colour and would like some.

Hope you're happy with your order *@QuestionableMouse*.

Hope you’re loving all of your new stuff!

[StellaLeonte]

@Flambola

I love taking care of myself. I was neglected as a child, abused, in and out of foster care. I remember being cold, having wet feet, not having the right clothes for the right seasons. Being hungry. I was smelly and unkempt. I refuse to be that way now, I am warm and have warm feet. I smell nice, I look nice. I’m well moisturised (in fact, in hospital recently, when I had two staff members cleaning my bloody body I was so proud when they told me how soft and lovely my skin is 🤣).

My daughter doesn’t go without and she takes pride in her appearance.

I notice the people who neglect themselves. It’s sad to see.

I was exactly the same as a child and like you I refuse to be unkempt etc. I’m so happy to read your post! Here’s to breaking the cycle of neglect and abuse ❤️

[StellaLeonte]

@Puffalicious

StellaLeonte

This makes me so very sad. Thank goodness that here in.Scotland we've had sanitary protection available in all girls' toilets in school for a few years now: reusable and single use which is kept topped up every day. There's also toiletries available to all kids who our pastoral care staff know need it. We work very closely with our local youth charity to identify families who need help with clothing and shoes. Thankfully, another young Stella may get the help she needs.

I’m a fellow Scot, @Puffalicious and I’m so happy that we do this here! I had to go to a community centre a while back and was almost crying with happiness to see that there were stacks of pads and tampons etc with a notice asking people to take what they need. As you say, girls and women won’t having to face the shame of not having sanitary protection and that’s so amazing!

I thankfully can afford my own but I stockpile a little bit in my house - I’ll never ever be without what I need again. I’d love to help with the clothing etc, if you let me know the details.

[Wbeezer]

I didnt even have a proper wedding dress i just bought an off white silk/linen shift dress from Laura Ashley, it did suit me though. Made my own cake and did my own flowers, no fancy car, or photographer. My parents would have bought me a proper dress if I'd asked but I'd listened to my Dad complaining about the ridiculous fuss of big weddings for years and was proud of myself for being thrifty. I suppose i always thought I'd have other opportunities to dress up but I have slight regrets. However good old Dad gave us the money he saved on our small wedding as a help towards a house deposit so it was a good thing really.

[HurryUpBetelgeuse]

Thank you @ByeByeMissAmericanPie and @SunshineCake

[SunshineCake]

[quote ByeByeMissAmericanPie]@HurryUpBetelgeuse - there is a FB group that’s often mentioned on here - S&B for sure - that instructs you on how to measure yourself for a bra. It didn’t change my measurements, but some people have been wearing bras that are seriously out of kilter with their actual shape!

Can anyone remember?

At least we’ll be able to carry off all the Breton tops with aplomb and chests facing forward![/quote]
This one

[DateLoaf]

I’ve saved this from OneRing it is a really helpful reminder:

My children's needs come before my needs, but their wants don't come before my needs. We are all as important as each other

[ByeByeMissAmericanPie]

@HurryUpBetelgeuse - there is a FB group that’s often mentioned on here - S&B for sure - that instructs you on how to measure yourself for a bra. It didn’t change my measurements, but some people have been wearing bras that are seriously out of kilter with their actual shape!

Can anyone remember?

At least we’ll be able to carry off all the Breton tops with aplomb and chests facing forward!

[ByeByeMissAmericanPie]

@Wbeezer - I had a similar problem with finding the right colour shoes. Wanted a dark brown but could only find taupe.
I bought the taupe ones, and purchased brown shoe dye, and converted them to the right colour!

Maybe try that approach? Obvs look for a similar green, or white shoes. Don’t buy purple ones and expect it to work 🤣

[HurryUpBetelgeuse]

I tended to go for utilitarian "that'll do". I needed a folder for work and was going to get a plain one, but noticed that a colleague had a really beautiful one, so I thought "well why not" and bought a pretty one.
One of my aunts always had beautiful things - like william Morris patterned coasters, diaries with pretty covers. She "put herself in the way of beauty" like someone said upthread.
I'm planning to do that for myself with mugs now! I regularly use one that was free from a sports company and one that was a gift a few years ago but has a chip, because of their size. I'll get rid of the chipped one and give the massive one away & have the cupboard space for something beautiful!

I also need to sort my bras out, get measured properly etc. Feel a bit embarrassed. I really shouldn't though.

[LongHotSummerJustPassedMeBy]

@Wbeezer

Does anybody else but the same outfit over and over again? I have lots of stripy long sleeves tops and slim or skinny jeans, all in varying stages of worn out, i know when i look, I'll make a beeline for Breton tops again. When i do see something that's "in" or a new colour I like I spend so long deciding to go for it that when i so try to buy its only left in the sale in weird sizes.
Hence my present hunt for green sandals, green was in a few years ago and i kept seeing things that I didn't buy, now any green is olive or very pale (or lime) and I want a nice strong green and i am thwarted.

I don't think this is a bad thing in itself if the items are really liked and will be worn a lot.

But I have sometimes bought the same items in different colours or over and over again with a 'This'll do, I can't find anything else and if these items go out of stock I will have nothing to wear ever again' mentality, and then I feel kind of resentful wearing them.

[Wbeezer]

Mine are all blue and white stripes too and I have a jumper the same (well two actually but one is so holey it's for gardening only).
Its like a uniform.

[SunshineCake]

I bought four fleeces the same all in different colours and think I've done this with pants too, in white and black. I have a lot of blue and white striped T-shirt's and a jumper plus nightshirt but feel sad about this for the reason behind it, even though I didn't do it consciously. It came to me later.

I also have several pairs of the same pumps all in different colours.

[Wbeezer]

Does anybody else but the same outfit over and over again? I have lots of stripy long sleeves tops and slim or skinny jeans, all in varying stages of worn out, i know when i look, I'll make a beeline for Breton tops again. When i do see something that's "in" or a new colour I like I spend so long deciding to go for it that when i so try to buy its only left in the sale in weird sizes.
Hence my present hunt for green sandals, green was in a few years ago and i kept seeing things that I didn't buy, now any green is olive or very pale (or lime) and I want a nice strong green and i am thwarted.

[SunshineCake]

Hopefully more will come in @Wbeezer.

I'm picking up my stuff on Monday. Can't face it today.

[Tals812]

Well done ladies who've been out shopping. Enjoy it.
Doing Duke of York Square next weekend, can't wait.
Also still yet to get new knickers.

@AmaryllisNightAndDay Thank you shall give that a try. Funny how I've put up with it for so long.

@thecatsthecats I'm like this too, wardrobe full of impractical clothes and ridiculously high heels that I don't wear. Live in my supergas and flat back boots. Went on a splurge a bit before lockdown and was so pleased with myself (no knickers though) but come time to get dressed and there's literally nothing that makes sense and stuff that is too small. I buy thinking I'll lose weight and end up giving away clothes with tags on.

@PhantomErik
Enjoy : ).

[Wbeezer]

@SunshineCake the sandals are going back as too small (and larger size sold out). The shoes fit but are a bit of a sensible purchase rather than a love purchase (needed some versatile heels to wear with dresses for rare formal occasions). However I'm determined and will try another purchase, in the past i would have given up and just carried on wearing my ancient ones for another year.

[PhantomErik]

I've been reading this for a few days & was actually quite shocked to recognise a lot of things that I do.

For example, I like poppy seed crackers & couple of years ago DS1 tried them & also really liked them. I don't think I've eaten them since except maybe the odd one from the pack & I buy a couple of packs a month for DS to enjoy. Had some last night & they were lovely so will start buying more now.

Also I bought myself new underwear & sleep tops & threw away the old tatty ones :)

It was a bit if a revelation really & has changed my outlook a bit. Kids needs will always come first but I'm entitled to have wants/needs myself.

Thanks for the thread OP

[SunshineCake]

Great news, both of you !

I'm hoping to pick up my new stuff today.

[Puffalicious]

Sunshine got loads of candles! Checked out a fair, few pieces and will decide soon. Did get new cushions for outdoors- love them.

[QuestionableMouse]

Oh yes, I really am. The pants are so comfy and the camisoles are actually white 😂😁.

Haven't tried the socks yet but the pattern makes me happy 😁

[SunshineCake]

@QuestionableMouse and @Wbeezer are you happy with your purchases?

@Puffaliciousdid you get your candles?