Does anyone here neglect themselves in small ways?

[FortunesFave]

Not big ways like not eating for days or never washing...but weird little ways.

I do! And I was trying to work out why...for example. I realised today that I only have about 5 pairs of knickers and they're all full of holes. I have a few fancy lacy ones but they're uncomfortable and only for fun times... no everyday ones that aren't fit for the rag bag.

I mean...I can afford them! So why haven't I got them! I went out and sorted that out today....and I started thinking that when I was growing up, after about 14 or so, my Mum just stopped buying me any clothes.

She did get me a winter coat every year and shoes but nothing else.

Could that be why I habitually forget to get things like these basics?

What about you? Do you neglect anything weird like that?

[JovialNickname]

Maybe we should start a thread where we make a pact to buy certain things for ourselves, then have to post a photo of said item to prove we've done it

[purplecorkheart]

I will avoid putting on the heating if I am home on my own until about 5pm. I always feel that putting on the oven for a single portion is a waste of money.

[Gwenhwyfar]

5 pairs of knickers must be unusual. It means having to use the washing machine a hell of a lot.
On the other hand, a new winter coat every year isn't doing badly. I don't buy a coat every year even now that I have my own money and could if I wanted to.

There are things I don't spend much money on, but it's because I don't see the point rather than because I'm neglecting myself. My towels are a bit threadbare for example, but I only use them to wrap around myself and don't actually towel dry,

I don't have great shoes, but that's because they're hard to find, not because I don't believe I deserve them.

[BlueLobelia]

@FortunesFave

Not big ways like not eating for days or never washing...but weird little ways.

I do! And I was trying to work out why...for example. I realised today that I only have about 5 pairs of knickers and they're all full of holes. I have a few fancy lacy ones but they're uncomfortable and only for fun times... no everyday ones that aren't fit for the rag bag.

I mean...I can afford them! So why haven't I got them! I went out and sorted that out today....and I started thinking that when I was growing up, after about 14 or so, my Mum just stopped buying me any clothes.

She did get me a winter coat every year and shoes but nothing else.

Could that be why I habitually forget to get things like these basics?

What about you? Do you neglect anything weird like that?

My mother also stopped buying me clothes at about that age. I used to wear her clothes.... thinks like bright shirts with shoulder pads and fake lace collars. At my end of high school dance I wore a an ankle length camel coloured dress with plastic rhonestones on one shoulder. This was in the time of bubble skirts and mesh gloves.

I'm 48 now and still feel guilty at buying clothes for myself. It's charity shops all the way and we are not in the slightest way strapped for cash.

[BlueLobelia]

@JovialNickname

Maybe we should start a thread where we make a pact to buy certain things for ourselves, then have to post a photo of said item to prove we've done it

I like this idea.

[TheTurn0fTheScrew]

I ticked a lot of the under-buyer boxes on that quiz.
It's partly laziness - I need new boots at the moment, but I can't be arsed to queue up, or browse online and order a load of pairs that end up being returned as they're not quite right. If someone knocked on my door and presented me with smart, perfectly fitting boots I would probably pay double the value of them in gratitude.

Also partly a small house thing - I prefer not to have lots and lots of specific-purpose items as I don't have storage, so will find myself making do.

[HowManyToes]

I don’t drink enough water when I’m at work cos I’m a teacher and don’t get the chance to pee very often. I don’t get even close to enough sleep.

[Adifferentstory2]

Same here - knickers, bras, PJs, socks (strange that it’s these things fairly consistently). I absolutely wear mine out (then some) and then my husband or mum replaces them. Very very odd and no childhood issues to hang it on

[Whatup]

Just found a five pack of raspberry m&s shorties knickers on ebay for a fiver I'm well chuffed. Also managed to get a brand new fred and co coat for fifteen pounds !

[BlueLobelia]

@Spied

I can't bring myself to spend money on bras so I have two I rotate. I have had them for 8-10 years.
I have also never bought a pair of socks. I steal ds's socks but before he was born I've no idea where I sourced them from.
I find it difficult to buy myself a bottle of water/juice if I'm out and about, say at a park. I'll buy for the dc but I feel it's frivolous to buy myself a drink when we've drinks at home. ( I do buy in restaurants)

I don't own a pair of socks. i borrow DH's or the Dcs. (I love their school socks).

I have never bought msyelf a pair of shoes that did not come from a supermarket.

I do buy stockings for work and when they get holes in them i cut then off abive the anke and use them as knee highs. I always think it is somehow disgraceful and shameful to spend money on myself. I cut my own hair as well.

I am a professional and reasonable well paid. We own our home outright and have invetsments. I buy very expensive clothes for the Dcs (because the oldest has sensory issues and textures are a major one so I buy the softest of cottons and cashmere for him).

I have no idea why I think I do not deserve to buy myself something that fits me and suits me. I do put some of this at the door of my mother though who resented me hugely when I was growing up and used to tell me I was a little bitch and she regretted having me.

[BlueLobelia]

Oh and also i do not eat fruit often - DH is a vegan and the DCs have restricted diets so I cannot recall the last time I ate an apple, watermelon or straberries because I am saving them for the others.

[BlueLobelia]

I've never given this any thought before. I am a bit shocked now.

[Templetreebalm]

Good grief
NO !
Am I the only one ?

My DM is like this -doesnt have anything nice at all

[fishonabicycle]

I'm a bit like that too - I have enough money, but manage with old underwear, keep clothes til they wear out and use things like frying pans way beyond their useful life. Also feel I can only but stuff on sale, so I will need say, sandals, but won't buy the ones I really like - and buy some on sale that are sort of ok but not what I really wanted.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Similar to you - my mother never got me anything new. Ever.

My sisters and brother did get new stuff (sisters because they were worth dressing up as they were so pretty*, bro because he was The Boy), but everything I got was 2nd hand except for a school coat which I loathed because it wasn't in fashion and all the other kids laughed at me in it.

I find it VERY difficult to buy myself anything that isn't from a charity shop - and I NEVER buy anything full price. If it's not in the sale, I don't get it no matter how fabulous I look in it (drives DH crackers). I truly think that subconsciously I think I'm not worth it.

*Yep - she told me this.

[Kissthepastrychef]

I treated myself to 15 pairs of M&S knickers last month. They were reduced to 39p each 😂

I never buy myself anything unless it's reduced. I never have my hair done and I'm incredibly negligent with my appearance because I resent spending money on something so transient. Consequently I hate the way I look but just cannot be arsed to do anything about it

[Lockdownlifting12344555]

I’m not like this but my DM was until about 10 years ago, she then realised that she doesn’t need to be frugal, her money worries of some 30 years before were gone!

[SwanShaped]

I used to do that Lobelia. Stopped now coz I want to set a good example to the kids. That it’s ok to have nice things as an adult.

[Kissthepastrychef]

I am also a terrible under buyer. It was a big breakthrough the month I finally bought all the cats' food at the beginning of the month rather than running out all the time

[EssentialHummus]

I'm another one who only bought a proper warm coat this past winter. I'm 35. I'm not quite sure what my reasoning was - I'm from abroad, somewhere warm, and somehow despite being in the UK for a decade now kept treating cold and rainy weather as this surprising and rare thing - something to do with that. My god I love my coat. Wellies next and, like others on here, a big knicker overhaul.

[BlueLobelia]

@SwanShaped

I used to do that Lobelia. Stopped now coz I want to set a good example to the kids. That it’s ok to have nice things as an adult.

I am stopping as of now. Right now.

I am on Amazon as we speak ordering knickers and a nice summer dressing gown.

I have honestly never realised this before.

[Kissthepastrychef]

It has taken me over a year to finally buy a decent pair of yard boots despite EVERY SINGLE TIME I was down the yard I thought "how wish I had some decent boots". I was sooo happy when I finally bought them, couldn't believe o had left it so long

[speakout]

I don't wearing comfy old pants as neglect.

In fact I see it as complete indulgence- holes and all!!

Fancy pants would give me no pleasure.
Clean well worn pants are the complete indulgence!!
Stuff doesn't do it for me.
Comfort is paramount.

I see it as an act of self care.

[LadyJaye]

I'm quite, eh, parsimonious by nature - I take HUGE amount of pride in looking after shoes, clothes etc, but I will spend a lot of money on quality for important things, such as winter boots/coats, skincare etc - hate fast fashion.

I don't go over the top, but I don't deny myself. Big fan of the saying 'you'll remember the quality long after the price is forgotten'.

[LadyJaye]

@purplecorkheart

I will avoid putting on the heating if I am home on my own until about 5pm. I always feel that putting on the oven for a single portion is a waste of money.

Oh god, yes - we have a rule that the heating doesn't go on until 5pm, too.