Does anyone here neglect themselves in small ways?

[FortunesFave]

Not big ways like not eating for days or never washing...but weird little ways.

I do! And I was trying to work out why...for example. I realised today that I only have about 5 pairs of knickers and they're all full of holes. I have a few fancy lacy ones but they're uncomfortable and only for fun times... no everyday ones that aren't fit for the rag bag.

I mean...I can afford them! So why haven't I got them! I went out and sorted that out today....and I started thinking that when I was growing up, after about 14 or so, my Mum just stopped buying me any clothes.

She did get me a winter coat every year and shoes but nothing else.

Could that be why I habitually forget to get things like these basics?

What about you? Do you neglect anything weird like that?

[Bumberlee]

Of course. Who never neglects anything at all for themselves? Who??

[sassafras123]

Realised today I am wearing a jumper that is 34 years old a tad tatty in places but so comfy. And often get comments from people, 'Ooh love your jumper where did you get it'? Then in contrast bought M and S knickers a year ago and they are falling apart already.

[AndPeekaboo]

I always just think "it's only me, so it doesn't matter"
Like I get my DC and even my DH things that I wouldn't think to get myself. Things like new clothes, a coat. Things like if my hands were bad with eczema, I'd just accept it. But for my DC or DH I have got them creams etc to help it. I also realised I never bother with makeup any more, or even to straighten my hair. I spent a lot of time off work this past year due to shielding & maternity leave so i guess not going out meant why bother? Although i got my hair cut this week finally and I'm dyeing it tonight as a treat to me 🙂

[Tooshytoshine]

[quote topcat2014]@FortunesFave that is poor showing by your mother. What did she expect you to be clothed in![/quote]
My parent's did this as well. They were broke and I had a part time job.

We are much, much better off financially than my parents were but I still find it hard to shop for toiletries anywhere other than home bargains

[Sniv]

I used to do this, as a hangover from when I was a teenager (I didn't go without, but we didn't have money to spend and things had to last), and then when I moved out, I found money really tight as a student, and carried on even once I graduated and started on a reasonable salary. I had so few clothes, I have no idea how I managed.

I had a bit of lightbulb moment when I saw a woman my age stroll past in a smart coat, and a nice little satchel type handbag, and wished I had things like that instead of a shabby coat and a handbag I had never liked. And it suddenly occurred to me that...I could have things like that. There was literally nothing stopping me.

I'm still a savvy shopper and make sure I get good value, and I look after my clothes and mend them to make them last. But I also take pleasure in clothes that fit and suit, and anything worn out, tatty or no longer 'me' goes out.

[lillylemons]

Today I realized I've been wearing a coat with a broken zip all winter. In December I brought everyone new coats but forgot about myself.

[Wishihadanalgorithm]

This is so weird. When I was single I spent a fortune on nice underwear, new clothes, perfume, getting my hair done etc. Since having my dd (7) I very rarely buy new clothes which haven’t come from a supermarket or are in a sale.

I used to buy a lot of high end make up and skincare products too but again that is in the past - I bought some glycolic acid tonic from Aldi yesterday and felt like I’d really treated myself.

I need to go to the opticians too but haven’t got round to booking the appointment - from about 5 years ago!

There is plenty of money in my bank account but it is almost like I am scared to spend it.

[Hastybird]

Yes YANBU! I am ok with bigger more 'obvious' items such as a winter coat but small every day items such as knickers and socks and PJs seem to flummox me. I currently don't have enough socks (teen boys cast offs), my pants are so old I can't recall when I purchased them and my PJs are saggy and holey. I have a fancy spring coat though! What's wrong with me? This isn't a cash issue but some kind of weird mental block!!

[brokengate]

Oh this is me absolutely. Most of the things mentioned.

I'm also like this was nice gifts. Someone will maybe treat me to a lovely candle or bottle of gin and I think oooohhhhh sil will love this. Or I put it in cupboard and drink cheap wine.

I'm at home on a farm with a baby and toddler. I "treated" myself to a couple of new hoodies in the January sale as I'm hoody and leggings every day. I wear the ones I have worn for about 15 years. I look at my new hoodies and think yes let's save those for good. GOOD WHAT!!

[Applesonthelawn]

I carry on working no matter how ill I feel. I presented through migraine the week before last, drugged up to the eyeballs and couldn't remember how to finish sentences I started, could hardly see, and that really made me think I have to stop being so determined to always bring home the bacon. It's one thing to work through sore throats/colds, but migraine is just beyond ridiculous.

[Justgorgeous]

I’m the same I have some really nice clothes but my dressing gown is 25 yearly old and the other day I put some maternity pants on as they are so comfy ! Why I haven’t just thrown away I just don’t know.

[Alcemeg]

I actually have the nice stuff, but never actually wear it. It's like I'm saving it all up for a special occasion that never quite happens!

[LunaTheCat]

Interesting. I had a very poor family - actually we would have been better but lots money spent on cigarettes and beer,
I remember being inadequately clothed -cold in winter, coats on top bed as blankets.
As adult I make sure I have nice sheets and warm clothes and lovely underwear.
Interesting how previous experiences shape you.

[PenguinBarnotBird]

Yes to the baggy bras and undies ...

Also had the same old bedsheets for years, only just occurred to me recently that there was nothing stopping me upgrading to fancier Egyptian cotton, wish I’d done it years ago!

[emmylousings]

I can't bring myself to spend more than about £20 on any item for myself, thank god for eBay/2nd hand shops. I think it stems from growing up poor and thinking (as others have said) that you don't deserve things. It might seem a bit sad, but maybe it's better than having an out of control spending habit, because you are trying to make yourself feel better about yourself, which I doubt ever works.

[CoffeeWithCheese]

I've got the tragic pants collection - but in my defence - they're relatively new purchases and it's just that the fucking elastic never stays attached to the pants main part for more than about a week!
I think it might be the fact that, unless you have some very questionable wardrobe choices, no one is going to give you that "oooh nice top" moment with a pristine pair of undercrackers.

[ChikiTIKI]

I almost never buy myself clothes. I wear things until they fall apart. Also at an awkward stage where I am either pregnant or breastfeeding the last few years. Don't see the point in buying new clothes for this short time in my life, so I have a few things that fit. Basically a scruffy uniform.

Once I've finished having kids I will throw lots away and get some new stuff. Nothing will be anywhere near nice enough for charity shops.

[Oblomov21]

I am not like this. It makes me very sad to read. I don't really understand, is it due to coming from an abusive upbringing? Low self esteem?

[Bumberlee]

I delay peeing until i have finished some chores like unloading and reloading the dishwasher.

I try to brave out pain than take painkillers.

I procrastinate seeing the dentist and hygienist but very prompt in taking dc and nagging dh to attend medicam appointments.

I dont bother smeering the spread properly all the way to the edge on my sandwich or toast but take care when doing it for others.

I brush my knotted hair too fast and harshly.

I know i should do FODMAP properly, have the resources and all but I still don't do it.

[vannyy]

I am not like this. It makes me very sad to read. I don't really understand, is it due to coming from an abusive upbringing? Low self esteem?

I've never really questioned it as a bad thing to be honest & like other posters my habits don't really make sense.

I can easily spend £300 on a dress or shoes but will wear tatty underwear, gym clothes & "house clothes". Comfort is a big thing to me.

I'm really bad at going to the dentist & optician (it's been yrs!) but will regularly get my hair done.

[vannyy]

I do have expensive make up & skincare but can be a bit lazy with the full routine/just skip makeup.

[SavannahLands]

My mother expected me to wear her cast off clothes and would sew or repair them to make them fit me, including her bras! My Christmas and Birthday presents consisted mainly of jumpers and factory seconds of knickers that she used to buy cheap off someone she worked with who’s sister owned a market stall and a knitting machine, so often a very poor fit and probably stuff that had not sold on the market that week! My biggest embarrassment were my Navy P.E knickers, which were virtually see through and trimmed with frilly Lace, a pair of her own cast offs!

It wasn’t as though she was poor, my parents always had a new car every year, went to the Pub about 3 times a week, and eventually bought a Bungalow outright for cash. When l started my Nurse training and lived in the Nursing home, if I went home at the weekend and stayed the night, they would expect me to pay them a Fiver for the privilege, even though l never had any main meals there. They were the same with my Saturday Job when l was 15, they wanted me to hand over my wages and get pocket money in return, but l refused and threatened to give the job up instead, l used the money from this to buy my main meal in the College Refectory each day for a subsidised cheap price.

[Keeping2ChevronsApart]

DP said to me today 'are you wearing that top? it's very faded. I just shrugged and said I thought it was fine. I have about 6 pairs of knickers, one white pair has blue spots where I had dyed jeans in a previous wash and mustn't have rinsed the machine properly. Other pairs have holes where the material joins the waistband! All my socks had holes in the toe, but I just sewed them up rather than bin. The majority of my clothes are hiding in the wardrobe as they're too small for me (I'm not too big for them, oh no) So I seem to wear the same few things that do fit rather than buy new ones!

[InFiveMins]

Yep this is me all over. I try and believe it's because I've got a demanding job - it's very demanding with very long hours - but I'm not sure if it is my job or just my personality.

I don't go to the opticians even though I know my eyesight is deteriorating, don't go to the dentist (although luckily my teeth are fine but even so, I should go for a checkup) - I had a debilitating migraine problem for 10 years before finally making the effort to get tablets from the GP that stopped the migraines altogether.

I never buy underwear unless absolutely desperate and am the same with clothes in general, I don't think I look scruffy but I rarely go and treat myself to a new outfit - I mostly make do with what I've got.

Don't bother with nails, eyebrows, fake tan, hair etc - again I don't look scruffy (I hope!) but I just don't have the headspace for it - I'm either too busy or too tired and other, more important things take over. I'd love to be more polished but can never find the time (despite the fact I've found 15 minutes now to be on here...)

[StripedLeopard]

I buy new stuff like towels and bedding, but I feel like i don't deserve to have nice things so it never gets used