To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name(273 Posts)
My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me
No YANBU it would annoy me too OP. Megan is a lovely name. My sons name gets shortened and it's annoying so I get it.
Calling her by a clear diminutive of her actual name, eg Meg, is just people being friendly, and could be a term of endearment. So yes, chill for goodness sake.
Can remember the Hyacinth Bucket-like mother of a school friend who always made a point of referring to her daughter as 'Elizabeth' and pretended not to know who our mate Lizzie was! Uptight and ridiculous.
Meg as a diminutive for Megan is hardly making names up? If you pick a name with an obvious shortening then I’m afraid you have to expect that people will probably use it. Your DD may also use it when she’s older.
its a term of endearment shortening someone name.friendly.
there is something lovely when someone calls you by a shortened name for people.its acceptance and warmth.
I understand you want her to be Megan.but others cant be asked to go along with that by force.if you keep using it it migjt just happen anyway.especailly at school they usually ask what they liked to be called so she will get to choose then.
She's her own person and once she begins school, you won't have a say. People do it to my DD too. Her name is Rose but she's "Rosie" at school...I don't like that name at all but have accepted she's happy to be called that.
If it bothers you so much correct them when the call her anything else.
When shes old enough to understand thought it should be HER choice what she wants to be called, and you would be very unreasonable to insist on her full name if she herself prefers a shortened version. It is her name, not yours!
I speak with experience on this, my parents gave me a name with a good 4 or 5 abbreviations so there was bound to be one i liked. I've used this for over 20 years and family STILL insist on using a different one that i hate despite telling them every time. It just makes them look incredibly rude, especially since i adhere to only using the full name of one as she hates the shortening, and the spelling choice of the others abbreviation.
You nevr know, your daughter may grow up and decide she doesn't like the name at all and pick a totally random name or nickname to go by instead.
Bit of a first world problem - chill. If she is happy with various abbreviations then its fine
I'm a Megan. I get called all sorts depending on which social group I'm in. You don't own your child's name and she is her own person. It's a good thing people shorten it as it means they have their own relationship with her outside of you.
Oh get over yourself. You don't own your daughter,her name or other people's free will, so you call her what you want at home, and others will call her what they want elsewhere and there's fuck all you can about it.
What's your dad's feeling about it.
If she's OK with it then YABU
There is no way you can really stop people shortening her name.
If you didn’t like the name meg you reeeeeeeeally shouldn’t have called your child megan
PFB? You'll be calling her even worse through time possibly
Hmmmm not sure Megan was a good idea if you don't like the shortening, it's going to happen.
When she's older she'll decide what she wants to be called.
Our youngest is officially a lengthened version of the name we actually call him, I can't stand it when people lengthen it to the full version (I don't like it but agreed to officially call him that but use the shortened version). If it someone I will rarely see I let it go, people we see all the time get corrected.
My daughter on the other hand we use her full name and if someone shortens it, it doesn't bother me, she will pick her own nickname one day anyway :-)
I find this attitude a bit weird TBH. My name has lots of things it can be shortened to, I dislike one and let people know what I prefer to be called. My ex was like this with his (secondary age) son. Name was Robert, known as Rob by friends, if any ever rang for him, ex would make a point of shouting “Robert, phone!” or “Yes, ROBERT is in.” Even though said child had no issue and preferred his friends to call him that.
Oh dear you're going to have a hard time in future.
She's going to be called variations on her name throughout her life, so you probably need to relax a bit over it now, get used to it.
Someone I know called their son Tobias and refused to countenance anyone calling him Toby - until he got to school and called himself Toby, so now everyone apart from his parents call him Toby.
Your daughter, when she is old enough, will pick her own name choice and which diminuitives she will respond to.
How old is she? My daughter has been telling everyone what she wants to be called (the long version of her name) since she was about 3. Your daughter will be able choose sooner than you think.
This is why people always tell you to think about whether you like the usual nicknames when you post on the baby names board. Don't choose a name unless you like the nicknames too!
OP lazy people will always take the easy option without any regard to the child or parents, it shows they are rude and insulting without any thought for other people.
My name can be shortened, but even though I was a very shy child, was taught to tell people 'once' (politely) that my name is xxx and I will not answer if you call me anything else. After that one warning, I was not to reply further until they called me by my correct name and it worked.
Even today as an older adult new people I meet think they have the right to shorten my name to 'their' version, so I still tell them politely my name is xxx and leave it at that. If they continue, I just ignore them and very soon they get the message.
Over the years I have lost a couple of friends but they weren't true friends anyway. In fact I turned the tables on one of them and shortened her name.......now did that get a response?? She didn't like it at all and let me know in no uncertain terms....BUT...she continued to shorten my name!!! Some people are just so thick!!
Sadly you need to teach DD at an early age to speak up and be strong with her message.
for your DD
Be greatful she has friends, who think of her with ‘pet names’. It’s a compliment to her, and could be a comfort to you if you let it.
So many parents these days seem to name their kids WITH a nickname, as though they’re worried no-one will do it naturally. I still ask, just to be bolshy. ‘Oh his name is Max? How lovely! Maxim, Maximilian, or Maxwell?’
I guess they’ll add Meaghan to the mix now, huh?
If she's old enough, what does your DD call herself?
My daughter is called Megan and she gets called all sorts
But mostly Meg
It doesn't bother me as i do it too, she is 12 this year so she can be called what she likes!!
All my children have names that are either commonly shortened or shortenable. We call all of them by the full forms. They all get various shortenings from various people, and the eldest gets the common one(s) from relatives although we have never used them (and now, as a teen, goes, at least to friends, by a shortening a friend pretty much made up). The middle one calls the youngest a shortening we have never used. It's what people do with names. It's a facet and manifestation of people's different interactions with our child and of what we have to get used to throughout their growing up.
If you’re irritated by this you’re going to spend the rest of your life feeling irritated.
My very difficult MIL pretends to not know who I mean when I refer to my husband as Ben instead of Benjamin. He also refers to himself as Ben.
Don’t be THAT mother.
My daughter has her name shortened. I couldn’t care less probably because I think it sounds cute and endearing. I think Meg and Meggy for Megan sounds nice tbh but not Megs. Putting an s on the end becomes a bit harsh sounding. But I do also think you need to chill a little. Children will do this. After I brought my old dog into school on pet week, dd was called by his name by some of the children for a couple of years until he died.
Yep, you go on and tell all of her classmates that. Something tells me you are going to be in for a hard ride in life.
I don’t know where to start. It really isn’t “insulting”.
You sound like you are completely up yourself and over the top about your name.
My given name has many diminutives and one is very similar to my preferred one but I really dislike it. However if someone calls me it by accident I still answer them as That would be rude. I just find an opportunity to say nicely that I prefer to be called something else and they do. No drama in my life and I have other more important things to worry about.
Losing friends over this is just weird.
My aunt put under "Preferred name" on an application form the diminutive in capital letters, eg: "PENNY". 😂
You aren’t going to be able to control this OP. You could have chosen a name that couldn’t be shortened
Reminds me of my neighbour who named her son Thomas. She told me she could not stand the name Tom, or Tommy so she had called him Thomas.
Life time of pain she signed up for there.
I do get your annoyance but think you have to swallow it. My son has a name that I didn’t want to be shortened but which often is. Not one person ever shortened it as he didn’t want it to be either and so corrected anyone who attempted it. However I knew it was out of my hands what people chose to call him and what he accepted. It’s not your name it’s your daughter’s name that you gave her as a gift
Our youngest is officially a lengthened version of the name we actually call him, I can't stand it when people lengthen it to the full version
We get the opposite of this which always makes me We called our ds a short version of a longer name and lots of his mates call him the full version at school (eg Andy getting called Andrew). I'm not really bothered and neither is he but it is a bit odd given that the long version isn't actually his name!
My friend is called John, we always Call him Johnny 😂😂 same with my son has a 5 letter name and his teacher started calling him by a longer name, he actually doesn’t care and his friends call him taj 😂😂 My daughter too, she has about 3 different nicknames. 😂
I’m a teacher and occasionally have students say before parents evening “Miss, you better call me William and not Billy because my Mum hates it,” even though they call themselves Billy (or Lizzie, or Jonny or whatever!), all their friends do, all the teaching staff do and they even label their books and planners with the shortened version.
I have a son with a name that has an obvious shortening that I am not keen on, I never use it but his preschool teacher did and his football coach does. I recognise it is a term of endearment.
Much loved is the child with many names.
I have a Tommy and a Johnny and a Megan in my close family and manage to get all their names right.
Is she a toddler?
Have you never noticed that this always happens to everyon with a name that has more than one syllablee, everywhere, and always has?
It is totally out of your control once she's at school - you may be able to control what teachers call her, but not what her peers call her!
😂🤣😂 so many people taking you seriously 😂🤣😂
People really get ‘irritated’ about something like this?
Wish I had their problems.
My Dh told me his name, it is the short version, his parents and grandparents called him by the long version, as does his sister.
It just shows that whatever name you pick your child may choose to shorten it.
But I also have a friend who has a double-name like Anne-Marie and she is still to this day Anne-Marie. She doesn't shorten it, never has and will correct anyone who tries to shorten it.
At the end of the day keep calling her Megan, correct anyone who shortens it but just know it may end up shortened anyway by Megan herself.
I’m with you actually OP. Both of my children have naturally developed nicknames, but when they were born a relative was told their names, and asked ‘so what will you call them?’ Um, we’ll call them by their names! Some people are desperate to shorten names, which is fine with their own children, but a name is a name, and people should respect that. (BTW, I’m not that bothered that I would say anything to anybody, I just find it weird)
It's annoying when people do that.
My Mil kept shortening my DDs name to lils and I flipped one day and said her name is Lily, please use it.
My name was shortened by a teacher. No one calls me by my full name anymore, not even my parents!!!! I prefer my shortened name, what does your daughter think?
You should have thought about this before choosing the name, I had a name I really liked for DD but I can’t stand the shortened version, it reminds me of a bully at school so I didn’t choose that name.
There is absolutely nothing you can do about this.
You will spend many wasted hours getting irritated by this.
DS’s name is longish. He has numerous names from friends and rellies, none of which are my choice or to my liking.
My brother has a name with lots of shortenings. His workmates know him by the full form, school friends use a nickname (one of those random names that boys call each other) and in the family we call him a diminutive of his full name. So phonecalls from his friends always involved him being called more than one name! It was the 80s though so no-one got their knickers in a twist. Less weird for family and friends who know all the names than for workmates who only know one name.
I have 3 DC, all of whom have short first names that can't be shortened. All of them get called lengthened rhymning versions of their names, think 'Mary-Fairy' type names . Mainly by their GMs. I don't mind, I think it's nice for GPs to have 'their' petname. Random adults calling a new baby by a short form are annoying though.
I'm a Penelope and I've never introduced myself as anything other than that. My mother insists that this is, in fact, my only name. I'm firstname.lastname@example.org and Penelope F. Slanted on my business cards and LinkedIn and all other work related things. Penelope Slanted on my doorbell and for all other personal things that need to be in writing.
I don't think I've spoken to a single person who hasn't called me "Penny" in the last 15 years or so, though. Except perhaps by my bank manager if the amount has been sufficiently high.
It's really alright. It's a mark of endearment and familiarity, surely?
You can't possibly control what people will call your child for the rest of her life. If it bothers her she's free to correct them herself once she's old enough.
This is something you are never going to be able to control.
Let it go.
Time to chill, OP. Both mine have one-syllable names and guess what? People who love them have given them all sorts of variations on their names all of which involve lengthening br two extra syllables or more! I appreciate these nicknames as they show affection, as PPs have explained.
I go by my full name, Elizabeth. Can't stand Liz, but can tolerate most other shortenings (I've had to, so many people can't compute a four syllable name...)
My 20mo son has a simple two syllable name with a common short form I don't care for (that is actually as long as his full name - think Robert/Robbie, though that's not it). We usually use the full form, but I also use a couple of other nicknames for it that I don't dislike as much to try and stop the one I don't care for as much from sticking (it probably will; if it does, I can deal)
Then why did you call her Megan ? Every name gets shortened unless it’s something like Tom. And even that gets lengthened to Tommy 😂. Just chill, you’ll get used to it, it’s a kind of endearment.
Haha, wait til she’s a bit older and started getting ‘Smeg’ and ‘Smegma’.
I deliberately picked a name for my daughter that couldn't be shortened, she still ended up with a nickname. Best not to worry about it and just make sure you always use her full name.
As others have said you if you don't like Meg Meggy or Megs. You should have sat and thought about whether Megan was the right choice.
People will always adjust names.
Noknownfather. Have you ever thought of going into acting. Your post is beyond dramatic over a shortening of names, and I'm.going to say it. What was with the flowers again over a name, bit Ott, wasn't it
You are fighting a losing battle. There’s nothing to say you have to shorten her name but you cannot stop others, only she can do that is she doesn’t like the shortened names, but that’s her decision, not yours.
There are many names we liked, but I knew that people would shorten them, or pronounce them differently to how I like, so we didn’t use those names. I’m surprised you didn’t realise that meg and meggy would be used
We specifically chose a name for our son with shortened names that we liked for your very reason. My name was shortened and my mum hated it but I'm never called by my full name now and I'm 31!
If it burgers you OP, nip it in the bud now before she becomes Megaluf or Megawatt.
Did you name neverget shortened or lengthened? Ie Blackie, blackers etc.
Surely in the real world you knew that could happen? You can insist that teachers use the full name, and ask other people, but childhood friends usually develop their own nicknames.
I have a Megan who will be 12 this year. She gets every nickname under the sun from friends and family, I quite like it as it’s a sign of affection and she suits every single one of them. She gets Meg, Meggy, Megarna, Megatron, Meggymoo, Meglet, Moo, Megs, Mog. I think you really need to chill and accept that people will give her nicknames.
It's a bit churlish to try and control what people call your kids.
I knew a couple who named their daughter Kristyna instead of Christina, apparently in an attempt to stop people shortening it to Chris or Tina. Ridiculous!
Don’t be that person.
Also, what the hell did you think would happen?? Pellle always shorten names.
My childhood friend had a little sister called Victoria. If we were out her house and playing with her sister her mum used to go batshit if we shortened it to Vicky or Vic. Have you tried shouting ‘vic-tor-ri-a’ in the middle of a game...? Way too long.
I remember meeting a friend of a friend years ago, who told me their toddler's name which was the same full length name as my DS. They asked me if my DS went under the full name or the shortened version - e.g. Sam or Samuel. I told them he had the full name of birth certificate but we use the short version (except when he was being naughty!). They responded that their DS would always have the full length name. I just smiled and thought "good luck with that when he starts school!". I often wonder what he answers to now - he'll be a teenager
Ds is called the shortened version of a name, and that shorter version is the name on his birth certificate. Some people always call him by the lengthened version, which is fine....apart from the fact he ignores them, as he doesn't recognise it as his name!!
My Mum chose names for all three of us that she thought couldn't be shortened. How wrong she was. My name is actually one syllable/four letters and people frequently lengthen it. Drives me nuts. That's not my name! My brothers have 2 syllable names with no popular diminutives but they still got called by the first 2 or 3 letter of their names. Think Balonz shortened to just Ba.
You cannot control other people OP, not your DD and not her friends, teachers etc. If your DD prefers not to be addressed by a nickname she will have to speak up for herself, if she doesn’t mind you will have to learn to accept it. What you prefer is irrelevant to her independent life and relationships with other people.
My parents were strict and formal and I was always addressed by my given name. I was thrilled when I was eventually given an affectionate nickname by my circle of friends. I’m nearly 60 now and only my mum and professional contacts use my formal name. To me it emphasises how distant our relationship is.
My ds is Patrick. He is always Patrick or a family nickname at home, but is one of about 5 or 6 different versions everywhere else. He doesn’t appear to be scarred in any way. There was one shortening we asked people not to use because it upset FIL. But apart from that- it’s a bit of a free for all!
I think you're being ridiculous OP but I suspect over time you will soften on this and understand it yourself.
My name is four syllables and I regularly get people saying it's a lovely name (my parents chose well and it's a popular one whenever it comes up on the baby names board here!) but it still gets shortened and neither I or they ever minded. It's life.
I agree, you need to chill a bit,
I have a Lucy. She's a teenager now and over the years she responds to.....
It just happens. I'm just happy she has friends who are comfortable enough with her to call her a pet name and she's happy enough with it.
It really shouldn't be something to get irritated by.
Does she like the shortened version?
I hate my name being shortened, yet people still do it. Don't mind close friends and family, but everyone else, just plain rude, especially when I introduce myself using my full name.
My dd is Joanna. When she was little lots of people insisted on calling her Joanne. She used to say , very firmly, “A it’s JoannA” every time. Now of course she is Jo.
I think YABU and a bit controlling. I don’t think parents get to control what people call thier kid. Friends like to make up thier own names for each other as part of building a relationship - same goes for other adults involved in your child’s life. If DD herself doesn’t like any of the versions that’s different and up to her to tell people so.
My daughter objected to a common shortening of her name at nursery, so probably when she was 3. She still doesn't like that shortened erosion but will accept lots of other, weirder versions.
I had to look like "that" parent correcting all the staff but it really upset her.
My oldest boy has a name that has an obvious shortening think Samuel to Sam the younger one has a 1 syllable name without any obvious short so guess what he’s ended up with a completely made up lengthened name !
I’m a teacher at Primary and I quite frequently end up giving the kids in my class a nickname some will say they don’t like it (so I the. Try and refrain) but most of them love it and some get a bit miffed if they haven’t been given one
Nicknames (unless they are cruel) are usually terms of endearment
And for the record the Meg in our family is known as McMeggles !
My parents insisted i would always be the full version of my name. It got shortened at school, and now as an adult I'm back to the full version. You can't control what other people call her, only what you call her.
Both my DD's have 2 syllable names. We call them by the full name, always have. I'm surprised DD1's hasn't been shortened yet, but the nursery staff often call DD2 a shortened version of her name. I don't mind, but I don't use it.
I think YABU when they're using names that are a common shortened version, it has to be expected. As it goes my DD was very nearly called Megan but I hate 'Meg' so we didn't use it in the end as I know that by the time she was at school that's what everyone would be calling her.
And if your username comes from the Depeche Mode album, very good choice!
Another one here with a MIL who doesn't like it when I use the name her son introduced himself to me as!
My dd is called Lyla. Someone at nursery called her Lies the other day. 😂
I don't agree that you can't control what other people call her, but you can't control what she chooses to be called when she gets older.
Jesus Christ - this is a first world country problem! My nickname is Jim. My name doesn’t even start with J. Chill the fuck out op.
While she is young it is fine to correct people, but as everyone has said, as she gets older it will be up to her. My mother still uses my full name, but no one else does and she gets annoyed when she sees people using the nickname on FB.
My MIL also uses my H’s full name and hates that I don’t but that was how he introduced himself and how everyone else knows him too.
People always give nicknames, even when it doesn’t seem possible.
Honestly? Sometimes I regret to have chosen a name that can be shorten for dc1.
Everyone, I mean everyone including the teachers, think it’s ok to shorten his name. WHY???
If I chose to call him xxx, it’s not for him to be called yyy. Otherwise that’s what I would have done.
People thinking that it’s an ok thing to do maybe should also ask themselves if they are being polite, or hurtful to the other people. If the owner of the name is actually OK with the shorten version of it.
FWIW it’s so prevalent that dc1 doesn’t even dare saying ‘No I’m called xxx and not yyy’ because if he abuse he is getting otherwise. You only have to see comments in this thread to see why....
nursery staff often call DD2 a shortened version of her name. I don't mind, but I don't use it.
We wouldn't do this at the preschool I work at, we ask what name should be used and stick with that - Id have thought that was common practice and quite important.
Did you really think this wouldn’t happen? Especially with a name with so many shortenings.
Barbed thé issue is that actually when children are young they are struggling to say ‘NO IM CALLED XXX AND NOT YYY’ to a teacher. And if the teacher is calling them YYY why wouod thé friends not do it too?
And they go to secondary and they are known as YYY by the friends, teachers carry on shortening the name which said teen might not feel able to say NO to - at least that’s what happened woth dc1 in Y7). And by the time you know it, it has become their name, whether they like it or not. And whether the parents like it or not.
Add to that comment such as ‘first world priblem’, you’re just uptight and whatnot that you see in the thread and your u can see why a primary or early secondary school child wouodnt dare saying a thing about it.
So saying it’s just a case for them so say NO is having no idea of what actually happens.
The fact that PARENTS are still using the full name and are annoyed that the shortening also says a lot about how their feelings and wishes have just being n’ignores by everyone. Which isnt acceptable imo when you are talking about young children.
You are being controlling, your dd will form independent friendships with others, and they will have pet names, shortened names etc. It it term of endearment. Insisting on the use of a full name makes you sound very very uptight.
My name is Megan.
My parents never shortened my name. Growing up I had extended family who affectionately would call me meg and meggy which I liked.
At high school my friends just naturally shortened my name to meg and that's just how I was known. By the time I was 17 I'd introduce myself as Meg. That's just how Ive become known.
My mum and grandma are prob the only ones who call me megan nowadays.
It's a natural to shorten Megan. Like Sam and Samuel. It's going to happen her whole life. You can't be annoyed. It's the name you chose. Sorry
Christ, in years to come you’ll hopefully realise how trivial this stuff is 😀
Does your daughter like the other versions?
If so, then that's all OK isn't it?
I don’t think you are being unreasonable to want your daughter to be called by the name you chose for her. I hope she has a say though!
I’d never dream of shortening anyone’s name unless they told me that they commonly went by, say, Em instead of Emily or Dave instead of David.
I’ve got a lovely name which people insist on shortening, usually people
men and the occasional lesbian I barely know and who are trying to be overfamiliar get in my pants.
I hate the common shortening of my name as it’s a word that describes something not very pleasant. Think “Tash” for “Natasha” or “Tit” for “Titania”. I say, “Sorry but I really hate being called Tash, please could you call me by name, Natasha?” (but obviously my name isn’t Natasha). Then quite often they get all huffy and offended, no matter how nice and polite I’ve been about it.
I’ve got family members who’ve known for years that I hate it but who continue to do it and have now taught their kids to do the same.
I don’t understand the need to shorten names at all and I’ve often heard shortenings where I’ve thought, “Really? Listen to what you are saying ffs!”...like Nads for Nadia and Nadine, Kirst (Cursed?!) for Kirstin, Cyn/Sin for Cynthia. And the poor owner of the name just sort of smiles weakly like they are well and truly sick of being called by these ugly “pet names” but know they can’t say anything for wont of being accused of being uptight or stuck up.
I understand I have a Gabriel teacher calls him gabe I don't like it from a teacher and if he had a nickname I would of indicated on the registration sheet when it asked it
This is just life, you can't control it and how can it be a surprise in any way?
It's the main reason my mum gave my sister and me names that couldn't be shortened or turned into nicknames.
I’m with the OP on this. I cannot abide people shortening my name when I've not been introduced that way eg my name is Juliet, why people think they can call me Jue, Jules, Julie etc is beyond me! I have never been introduced as Jue, Jules, Julie! Why do people make up names. It isn’t 'friendly' it is over familiar.
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