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Can't stand men, do I need help rectifying this.

(192 Posts)
carolmusic Thu 22-Feb-18 15:19:07

Yes I've had bad relationships which has definitely contributed to this statement, currently single and not even slightly interested in finding anyone. I've had enough of them. They seem so arrogant, drive like they rule the roads(I drive a lot in my job), seem to have no respect for women, see them looking at young girls with their tongues wagging, it's pathetic. They don't seem to like women with authority, who can look after themselves and do things without a man. They annoy me every day now and yes I'm probably looking out for these things but I can't help it. Do I need help/counselling/whatever to get over this or is this how it is now? HELP, am I alone in this? angry

AnimalBrain Thu 22-Feb-18 15:21:38

NOPE, I agree with every single statement you’ve made. Years ago I would have argued that my partner was a testament to man kind but he proved me very wrong, so I can’t help roll my eyes when I see similar statements!

Nicknacky Thu 22-Feb-18 15:23:00

What, you hate every singe man because of some men?

OutyMcOutface Thu 22-Feb-18 15:25:43

Well I mean it depends DS-there are so parts where the vast majority of men are actually like this.

geekone Thu 22-Feb-18 15:26:49

GF of the daybiscuit

PlanNumber Thu 22-Feb-18 15:27:47

I think you're picking the wrong men. There are no men in my social circle like the ones you describe, although I am well aware they exist, I have little to do with them.

kubex Thu 22-Feb-18 15:36:16

Obviously you're being unreasonable to suggest that all men are like this - and if you really believe this to be true, yes, you should get some kind of professional help.

However, I suspect you're just being a GF.

NurseButtercup Thu 22-Feb-18 15:36:17

Not all men are horrible. Sadly the handful of awful ones that you've met or heard about are so truly, excruciatingly awful that the memory of their actions linger for a long time.

Yes - you probably should seek out counseling.

Bombardier25966 Thu 22-Feb-18 15:39:54

Some men are arseholes.

Some women are arseholes.

On that basis, do you have such contempt for women too?

Youre free to dislike whomever you wish, but your sweeping generalisations are irrational. If you feel it is past issues that have resulted in this, then talking it through with someone may well be helpful.

ShortandAnnoying Thu 22-Feb-18 15:45:46

OP think how you'd feel if a man made such generalisations about women. Even though it is more common for women to be nervous drivers, emotional, prone to anxiety and hormonal mood issues and being manipulative and gossiping you wouldn't like it if a man assumed all women were like this. People should be treated as individual not stereotyped as groups.

whatareyoueatingNOW Thu 22-Feb-18 15:52:36

Short and annoying- you are making sweeping generalisations yourself! What on earth to you mean presenting “it IS more common for women to be nervous drivers, emotional , prone to anxiety and hormonal mood issues” as fact?! What utter outdated bollocks, based in stereotype and assumptions.

Op- it’s hard to move on when your experience is overwhelmingly negative, but really, there ARE good men. We all have good and bad in us, men and women. It’s just that you are noticing then men more.

MsGameandWatching Thu 22-Feb-18 16:01:54

short. Your post is way worse than than the OP.

OP you're not alone feeling this way, I do too, but I know that's my experience and namalt. That said many of them are and of all the men of my acquaintance I only know one that hasn't cheated or tried to. I can't be arsed with them anymore.

Bluelady Thu 22-Feb-18 16:04:33

If anything happened to mine, I certainly would have no interest in filling the vacancy.

NameChanger22 Thu 22-Feb-18 16:04:36

There does seem to be a lot of terrible men out there. I watch the news. A small percentage of women are also awful. There are a lot of not very nice people in the world.

I wouldn't trust a man again You don't need men in your life if you don't want them, I've managed perfectly fine without any men for more than a decade. I have a chat with men about the weather occasionally at work, that's enough for me.

FizzyGreenWater Thu 22-Feb-18 16:06:19

You aren't alone OP, no.

The world has a problem with men. And for good reason.

Yep NAMALT. But, my own NAM- my DH - well, he even says he doesn't generally like men much. Says it all, really.

NameChanger22 Thu 22-Feb-18 16:06:35

They're also useful for plumbing problems. Other than that I can't see the point in them.

ShortandAnnoying Thu 22-Feb-18 16:06:56

I don't see why that's worse than what the OP said about men. It's pretty offensive to assume a women is like that but it's also offensive to assume men are aggressive perverts.

therotatingstripes Thu 22-Feb-18 16:09:44

I was about to write this myself last night but felt I would get a flaming.

I can't stand them either. I've gone off them. I find they cause no end of trouble for women, generally.

I am married to a supposedly "nice" man and the daughter of a supposedly "nice" man, but these days - with all the Weinstein and Brendan Cox and Oxfam stuff - who knows? Who bloody knows...

And I've watched my power, my earning capacity, my energy, slip away since having children, and tried to explain it to men, but they don't understand. They think I should be grateful.

Also no man I've met so far, agrees with metoo or time's up. Maybe they pretend they do in public, but in private they just see it as loads of bandwagon jumping.

I just have no time for them. Unfortunately I'm straight, but their personalities just put me off.

NameChanger22 Thu 22-Feb-18 16:10:34

There are a lot of aggressive perverts, who 95% of the time are men.

whoareyoukidding Thu 22-Feb-18 16:11:06

I know there are some very nice men about, but in general I'm not too keen on men either, for all the usual reasons.

AngelsSins Thu 22-Feb-18 16:24:13

I don't blame you OP, and although there are good men out there, I don't believe they're the majority anymore. My dad abused me, my first boyfriend abused me, the next two were selfish perverts, I've been yelled at/harrased/cat called by random guys in the street more times than I can count, threatened with rape, intimidated, groped when I haven't behaved the way some random guy thinks I should have. You only have to look at the news any given day to see the damage and violence they create. Loads of them are sexist, hold double standards or hate women. It's tiring.

My partner now is the best man I've ever met, but if it goes wrong, I'm done with them.

AngelsSins Thu 22-Feb-18 16:28:29

Oh and what else annoys me is women support men so much, in their day to day lives, in comedy, in films, in sport, in childcare - everywhere. On the internet in threads like this you will always have women come on to police language and make sure we say " not all men"...Yet men rarely return this. How many men police other men when talking about women? Look at the melt downs over the new Dr Who or Ghostbusters film. How many men won't consider going to watch a female comedian because women aren't funny? How many men make sacrifices at work in order to support their wife's job? It's all so one way.

Eltonjohnssyrup Thu 22-Feb-18 16:30:02

LOL. People making sweeping stereotypical statements about them then whinging when the same happens to women apparently without irony.

I think that in general in life you get back what you give out. So if you treat all men like they’re bastards the overwhelming majority aren’t going to be nice and treat you like a princess back. Plus the decent ones won’t bother with you and you get left with the dregs. Self fulfilling prophecy.

therotatingstripes Thu 22-Feb-18 16:31:15

Oh and if I hear one more friend who has just met a new man who has a "psycho, crazy ex," I think I am just going to unfriend her.

The lies and shit they perpetuate...

OfaFrenchmind2 Thu 22-Feb-18 16:32:53

I think you had a shitty taste in men.
Meh. I like men. My dad, BIL, colleagues, friends... All great guys, and I will keep on worshipping the ground my father walks on.

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