Can't stand men, do I need help rectifying this.

[carolmusic]

Yes I've had bad relationships which has definitely contributed to this statement, currently single and not even slightly interested in finding anyone. I've had enough of them. They seem so arrogant, drive like they rule the roads(I drive a lot in my job), seem to have no respect for women, see them looking at young girls with their tongues wagging, it's pathetic. They don't seem to like women with authority, who can look after themselves and do things without a man. They annoy me every day now and yes I'm probably looking out for these things but I can't help it. Do I need help/counselling/whatever to get over this or is this how it is now? HELP, am I alone in this?

[Helmetbymidnight]

Has anyone here suggested all men are monsters?

Why exaggerate?

I find it hard to understand anyone who refuses to accept there is a problem around men/entitlement/violence in society - (even if you and your friends were privately educated and incredibly successful )

[HandbagKrabby]

Yes god forbid on one thread on one Internet forum a woman says something negative about the class of men based on her own experience and she is not immediately corrected.

[Helmetbymidnight]

As for ww2 - and the holocaust - all being down to the work of just one busy man? (And everyone else was actually super nice!)
What crap!
Is that how they teach in the superior independent sector then?
Unbelievable.

[ColdBurntToast]

And there we have it.

Who has said all men are monsters?
Where are these vicious attacks?

Impressive use of hyperbole. What would you consider a reasonable discussion to look like, then?

You must have a very sheltered life if you think any post here has constituted a vicious online attack.

[waterlego6064]

I hear you OP. My Dad was a superb man- the very best. My DH is lovely too, and I have some nice male friends.

But as a class- yes, there is a problem with men’s behaviour. If something happened to DH, I wouldn’t seek another relationship.

[waterlego6064]

CSI, I’m baffled as to how you are seeing a link between a person’s success and the likelihood of them seeing men’s behaviour as problematic.

Because these people have made a god life for themselves

Off topic but this made me laugh. People who’ve attended private schools tend to get a huge head start on making a good life for themselves 😂

[Helmetbymidnight]

As for suggesting women who are rightly pissed off with male violence are the other side of the coin to the mra?!

Ffs.

Have a little read about MRA activism against Rosie batty in Australia and then tell me that it's the same.

[Chocomuggle]

And to be quite honest there are a few women on here who are just the other side of the MRA coin

Very true, many of the arguments and opinions put forward here are pretty much the same MRA or MGTOW views with the genders reversed. But both sides seem oblivious to the irony of calling the other side the problem.

[HandbagKrabby]

Fgs a woman saying she doesn’t want a man in her private life is in no way comparable to a man who would like to use violence to keep a woman he legally owns in the kitchen or the bedroom.

[IfNot]

I'm white. If people of colour say to me that they like lots of white people, but that they can't stand white people as a group, because all they see is the effects of the colonisation of half the world-by white people, the discrimination in the workplace, the police shootings, the racist stop and search policies etc etc ( and I don't pretend to know the extent of subtle shit people who are not white have to deal with but I believe them when they tell me) if they say, " I think I want to stay away from white people" I'm not going to say that's unreasonable.
Of course it's sad, of course I want peace and love, and a society where people are not discriminated against, or hurt.
Of course I don't want to be lumped in with the "white people" baddies.
But it wouldn't offend me on a personal level. Why would it? On some level I would understand that position. I may even think to myself, ok, what can I do to unite people, to help make things better?
When women share experiences (and read the damn news) they can get male violence/entitlement fatigue, and if they are single I can understand why they would feel like, as a group, men are responsible for worlds of pain, in so many ways.
And it's not just some corner of the Internet. My mum has friends ranging from 55 to 80; most are single either through divorce or widowhood, and they have a pretty low opinion of men because when they swap stories it's just a long long list of workplace discrimination, infidelity, and shocking levels of entitlement and laziness.
My closest friend in the world is a man. My dp is good to me, my son is a soft hearted, kind young man. But that doesn't negate the facts: that 90% of the bad shit that happens to people (male people too) is done by men!
And it's not a "hardcore". .it's a lot of them.There are awful women, and I don't think women are inherently victims, or saints, but as a group men are toxic.
I wish it wasn't the case, and I wish that rather than dismiss the way so many women feel as "feminazi" extremism (my mum and her friends are so not feminist extremists 😂) men could actually look at the cold facts, and have a logical response.

[Halie]

Pick up a newspaper, turn on the news, read some psychology journals etc - most of the murderers, rapists, abusers etc etc are men. They are the vast majority of violent people - that's just a fact that no-one can deny.

[DarthNigel]

I'm beginning to think you are right op. It's not all men that are 100% 'bad men' but I do think all men have an entitled, superior to women attitude to varying degrees...even your 'nice' man has it in him somewhere-and it just goes up in scale with some men until you get to the ones who rape and abuse...

The scales fell off my eyes on this when I was in my mid 20's. I'd gone to meet my H after work inn a pub and we stayed for a drink with some of his colleagues. One of his male colleagues mentioned that they had all been making excuses to go upstairs to the next floor in the office to see the 'fit' secretary that had just started. We had recently had a kid. All of H's colleagues were married with or without kids. They were laughing about it as if it was hilarious that this woman who was there to work was being ogled like that. My h was very angry they had told me in terms of 'what goes on at work stays at work' and 'you shouldn't tell someone's wife about stuff like that' which later, when I pointed out that that was an even more outrageous position turned into, ' of course it's disgusting, I'm not like that' but yet he couldn't explain why he had been doing it then... he was half embarrassed half still just annoyed I had been told and hadn't just laughed it off.
He was the last person you would think would think or behave like that... great at keeping even that small part of himself that thought about women like that covered under a veneer of sensitivity...but it really opened my eyes as to what he was was like when not in my company or that of female friends... I really think they are all like it to some degree...

[Helmetbymidnight]

What is the psychology behind those who deny it?

Can anyone explain?

[BlindAssassin1]

I think like when people say they have reached peak trans, lots of women reach 'peak men'. I see a lot of women, from mid 30s onwards who come to this point and they seem to just keep peaking. And by the time they have reached their 50s they are absolutely fucking done.

Its not extreme or hardcore and there's little politics about it, they are just fucking done with being shit on from a great height for literally their entire lives.

My DM used to say if my DF died/ left she wouldn't bother again. I always thought this was over the top. But I totally appreciate where she is coming from now.

All the NAMALT stuff here reminds me again of the aggressive trans ideology issue, with all the handmaidens coming to the defence of a group of people who would happily destroy their rights, visibility and safety. It looks like siding with the bully before you get bullied yourself.

The fact that we have to say, yes but I know a few good men! is a big red flag. If some men are the good guys that still means most are not.

Call me a terf, cis, a feminist man hating Nazi, all you want but the point still stands that actors of violence is male dominated.

[KERALA1]

Agree with waterlego and blind - some extremely odd posts on here.

The men in my family and a few friends are lovely and decent but even being (gasp) well educated and having a professional job I reluctantly conclude that there is a toxic masculinity that sadly too many men subscribe to. Street harassment when young, and toxic sexist work environments and exposure to what supposedly nice men are like in single sex groups makes me think that not prejudice. Drooling over teens. Porn. I wish it wasnt so.

My ex worked in HK. He was friends with a group of professional couples - all upper middle class, high earning. Every year the men went off on a golfing weekend. My ex stayed in town with the women as he got on better with them. Except they didn't go golfing. They went to a brothel in the Philippines. And would call their wives "miss you darling" "great days play" etc. Its shit like this. But over and over again.

[UnicornSnot]

Hear Hear IfNot Great post and I couldn't agree more

[Deerwoods]

I cant stand men because they never paid attention to me as a result
I am not slightest bit interested All they are interested in naked women

[Coop80]

Zombie thread!

[Deerwoods]

Where s my message I said I cant stand men because they never
paid attention to me as a result I am not interested in them

[Wineisrequired]

I’m in the same frame of mind about men. Currently a single mum I seem to have a record for attracting wrong uns. I’m sure there are some nice men out there but I’m in no hurry to find one . I’d rather get a dog I think

[FOJN]

Men are at double the risk of being victims of violence than women. And when the attacker is a stranger the risk is almost 4 x as big for men.

What exactly would you like women to do about it? Men are victims of predominantly male violence. If women were able to fix the problem I'm quite sure we'd deal with all male violence not just the sort which affects women. Why aren't men making more of a fuss about male violence? Too busy telling women to shut up about their experiences because it makes them feel bad and because men are bigger victims of toxic masculinity?

[Deerwoods]

I think a lot of men prefer the strippers/burlesque performers chicks
because they get naked on stage and they pay to look at them
seems easier for them

Those men who view videos of them seem to like garter belts and
stockings on those women but I never as a woman wore them
my mother and sisters said those things were too old fashioned or too hot to wear

[Branleuse]

I think its easy to feel this way, especially if you follow a lot of stuff online that really highlights the negatives constantly. Can be a real headfuck. Facebook algorithms really just keep showing stuff that backs up the worldview.
I think that considering they are half the population then its definitely worth trying to unpick it a bit or it can drive you a bit mad. There are great men out there. There are plenty of OK men out there. We have to live in peace.
You dont have to date men or have them.as best friends, and its fine to be wary, but it depends how much its affecting your life