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AIBU to think this is child abuse? (trans related)

(203 Posts)
pisacake Sat 10-Feb-18 07:49:58

Basically 14yo daughter came out first as lesbian, then as a boy shortly after that. She didn't want to be examined by NHS gender clinic she was referred by trans-child charity to private 'trans-your-child-by-post' GP

Said Dr. sent puberty blockers, then 3 months later testosterone gel, but had second thoughts, stopping the T-gel, and remaining on the puberty blockers. Now her mum says 'It will be 18 months before they can even be referred for adult surgery. '

AIBU to think that this is horrific child abuse and that these medications should not even be an option for children under the age of 18, confused about their sexuality?

pisacake Sat 10-Feb-18 07:50:54

Sorry in case it wasn't clear, it was the daughter who had second thoughts about the t-gel - I doubt the Dr. thinks twice.

BillywilliamV Sat 10-Feb-18 07:54:53

You would let your child do this on the say-so of a doctor who had never seen them face-to-face?

strawberryblondebint Sat 10-Feb-18 07:55:26

Jesus. So much wrong with that I don't know where to start.
She was a bigger build so Mum assumed she may be a lesbian !!!
Poor child.

MissionItsPossible Sat 10-Feb-18 08:02:17


Hormone blockers. Horrifying.

QuiteLikely5 Sat 10-Feb-18 08:03:31


SimonBridges Sat 10-Feb-18 08:07:26

Oh that poor child.
How would puberty blockers work at 14? Surely a lot of it has already happened?
So she wasn’t ‘feminine’ when she was young. So what?
I didn’t start wearing dresses, make up or even a bra until I was about 16. I thought make up etc was a stupid waste of time. I grew up to be heterosexual.

The poor girl has been robbed of her fertility and the ability to make choices about her future.

I’m not anti trans, not at all, but I think that mucking about with puberty like this is dangerous. Dress as a boy and call yourself a male name but society won’t see you as a boy and you won’t get male privilege.

TheRebel Sat 10-Feb-18 08:12:13

It looks like the Mum decided early on that her child was ‘different’ and has gone out of her way to stop the child from fitting in. Surely any caring parent would explain to their child that decisions this big should be put off until they’re old enough to understand the consequences.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sat 10-Feb-18 08:13:45

Mermaids really really need to be seriously looked at - would the charities commission be interested?

Webberley is no longer allowed to work with trans patients unsupervised

LuxuryMilk Sat 10-Feb-18 08:14:57

Horrifying 😱
That child needed some support in finding out why she felt like she should change gender, not to be put on hormone blockers.

Chugalug Sat 10-Feb-18 08:15:22

What's wrong with mermaids?

Chugalug Sat 10-Feb-18 08:19:48

A close friend of mine not long ago ,had this with her child...dc was 16 now 17 and school nurse was all for getting it poor friend was in bits as her involvement didn't seem turned out dc was in an abusive relationship and being pushed in to being trans by a very controlling/ grooming ( in my opinion) and Cambs were useless,school nurse almost pushing it ...shocking really

Chugalug Sat 10-Feb-18 08:21:20

The school recommended mermaids for info

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed Sat 10-Feb-18 08:22:48

And Caleb’s mother get her picture in the Guardian hmm

A child confused and a mother that seeks answers to her own anxiety

pisacake Sat 10-Feb-18 08:26:16

Chugalug Mermaids is a charity that is essentially devoted to validating the decision of one woman to castrate & mutilate her son in Thailand at 16 (surgery so extreme even Thailand now bans it), to turn him into a boy.

Basically the line is 'I performed gender experiments on my child, so you should too'.

As they are the first and only transgender child charity, they are seen as a neutral option and parents are referred to them by NHS, etc. without any thought of whether they are in fact doing good. And of course if you criticise them they wheel out stuff about transphobia and say (as in this article) that the alternative to medical experimentation on your child is suicide (45% of transgender kids attempt suicide, and similar stats).

TheFirstMrsDV Sat 10-Feb-18 08:30:29

Countdown till that mother fetches up on this thread.
WTF is wrong with society?
We seemed to be getting somewhere accepting that girls and women were not always 'girly'. It was briefly ok to be a woman who didn't fit into suffocating expectations of what that meant.
That seems to be wiped by this trans mania.

Bit muscly? Don't like dollies?
Take this drug and sort it out. You can't be a real woman so be a pretend man instead.

TransHobbit Sat 10-Feb-18 08:32:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhiteWalkersWife Sat 10-Feb-18 08:33:12

Horrific and very sketchy wsy to go about it. No new medicines should be prescribed for anything without a thorough face to face appointment and tests if applicable.

I dont like the medicines idea at all but i do know people who have come out as trans and known all their lives that they were. All through teenage years so i dont doubt that when you know, you know but this just seems like fast tracking which isnt in the childs best interest only in the doctor getting paid for its.

picklemepopcorn Sat 10-Feb-18 08:35:37

"I was furious the system would force young people with such severe gender dysphoria to undergo such an exam.”"

Shock horror! Doctor wants to examine patient before prescribing life altering treatment! What an upside down world. What if this child has androgen insensitivity, or another intersex condition? Surely that gets investigated before issuing cross gender hormones and puberty blockers?

GoatPavlova Sat 10-Feb-18 08:36:48


Mrsmadevans Sat 10-Feb-18 08:37:12
you can see she has done invaluable work for children and the GMC have not struck her off she merely needs supervision until this NOV.
the praise she has received from her patients is phenomenal
l don't know her but she lives locally to me and l have only heard good about her. I suppose this is such a specialised area it is going to be controversial. These children are desperate and vulnerable, it is tragic.

TransHobbit Sat 10-Feb-18 08:37:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

therealposieparker Sat 10-Feb-18 08:38:48

Transing children is child abuse, giving women with healthy breasts double mastectomies is abuse. What happened to do no harm?

saladdays66 Sat 10-Feb-18 08:39:30

It sounds like Caleb has gender dysphoria and is a very confused child. All of you criticising the mum and doctors here, what would you do if your child hated themselves and desperately wanted to change? If your dc was threatening suicide?

therealposieparker Sat 10-Feb-18 08:39:51

MRS. Why are these children desperate? Where are the late transitioning women who would definitely have to have existed decades ago but couldn't transition?

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