AIBU to think this is child abuse? (trans related)

[pisacake]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/feb/10/raising-a-non-binary-child-as-long-as-one-of-the-side-effects-wasnt-death-it-was-the-right-way

Basically 14yo daughter came out first as lesbian, then as a boy shortly after that. She didn't want to be examined by NHS gender clinic she was referred by trans-child charity to private 'trans-your-child-by-post' GP gendergp.co.uk/.

Said Dr. sent puberty blockers, then 3 months later testosterone gel, but had second thoughts, stopping the T-gel, and remaining on the puberty blockers. Now her mum says 'It will be 18 months before they can even be referred for adult surgery. '

AIBU to think that this is horrific child abuse and that these medications should not even be an option for children under the age of 18, confused about their sexuality?

Her mother is bonkers because she wasn't a fluffy girlie girl who wants make-up, she must be a boy. WTF?

Jesus what happened to the simple term Tomboy? I don't believe that any sort of gender changing drugs or surgery should be available to people below the age of 23.

I know of a young mum of 3 who asked to be sterilized and the GP said they wouldn't do it until she was 23. Why should trans be any different?

Jeez chugalug that's awful.
It's such a common occurrence too. Social workers, school etc put pressure on the mum to be supportive and assume her attitude is akin to homophobia if she isn't.
I think transgendertrend is a better website for parents.

I dont like the medicines idea at all but i do know people who have come out as trans and known all their lives that they were. All through teenage years so i dont doubt that when you know, you know but this just seems like fast tracking which isnt in the childs best interest only in the doctor getting paid for its.

I personally think the trans community has been hijacked by people who think that dressing and portraying as the opposite sex when they feel like it means they are also trans whereas previously they'd have been called drag queens/kings or crossdressers (which I'm guessing may be now outdated or offensive terms)?

This teenager in the article thought they were trans until months into taking the medicine they suddenly decided they were not. This is dangerous and disingenuous.

'what would you do if your child hated themselves and desperately wanted to change? If your dc was threatening suicide?'

I would be (am being) supportive and loving,gather evidence,not sign then up to anything irreversible.

It's like putting a 12 year old on antidepressants. Most evidence suggests it increases risk of suicidality and changes brain chemistry permanently. Some doctors will still prescribe it. I wouldn't be up for that.

Mermaids aren't experts. They are a pressure group. They don't get to give advice on healthcare. It's daft.

All of you criticising the mum and doctors here, what would you do if your child hated themselves and desperately wanted to change? If your dc was threatening suicide?

i'd find them a top notch therapist who'd help them accept who they are, tbh. not put them on untested drugs and encourage them to hack bits off

If you think your child is suicidal now, wait until she is put through early menopause. It is definitely not going to help one bit. Children are being sold a huge lie.

Mermaids are a child abuse organisation that need to be stopped.

www.stonewall.org.uk/school-report-2017
Have a read of these reports very sad , desperate children.
www.theguardian.com/education/2017/jun/27/half-of-trans-pupils-in-the-uk-tried-to-take-their-own-lives-survey-finds

All of you criticising the mum and doctors here, what would you do if your child hated themselves and desperately wanted to change? If your dc was threatening suicide?

And if the cause of this was anorexia, would you affirm your child's self-image and support the change they wanted to make to their body?

saladdays, I'd hopefully not dose my child with more testosterone than an East German shot putter.

Mrsmad, people are happy because they can get their drugs easily. There are plenty of other online drug dealers with good reviews, it doesn't mean they are performing a useful service.

www.reddit.com/r/transgenderUK/comments/60jk76/some_questions_about_dr_webberley_gendergp/

"If you accept that Dr Webberly's service is an online informed consent clinic, and not a full GP/GIC replacement clinic, there's no problem."

IOW, she's just handing out these drugs like candies.

Tbh it sounds like even Caleb has no who idea who they want to be. The mother should have taken a step back & done some more digging before allowing a doctor (in the looses sense!) to prescribe hormone drugs without meeting Caleb! There could be several reasons why Caleb feels unattached & unable to define themself. I'm in no way transphobic, but I think it is becoming too easy to twist what is a very real MH issue to suit an agenda. The hoops that people with body dysmorphia have to go through are unreal yet this 'doctor' is skipping months '& simply handing out hormone blockers?! Jesus

PosieParker, you're wrong:

LGB youth seriously contemplate suicide at almost three times the rate of heterosexual youth.
LGB youth are almost five times as likely to have attempted suicide compared to heterosexual youth.
Of all the suicide attempts made by youth, LGB youth suicide attempts were almost five times as likely to require medical treatment than those of heterosexual youth.
In a national study, 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt. 92% of these individuals reported having attempted suicide before the age of 25.

(see www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/#sm.0000eobiq44u2cvbzrm2cxeftx6qp)

I teach young children.
Every year there are boys and girls who don’t fit in with the gender stereotypes.
I hope that by the time they get to be teenagers this has been exposed. I’d hate them to do this.

I don’t want anyone telling the strong, active, leaders in my class that they are womaning wrong and therefore must be boys. That they need to stop themselves becoming women because there are men out there who do it ‘better’.

I don’t want my quiet and thoughtful boys being told they aren’t man enough because they don’t want to play with guns or run around shouting.

I would work with understanding how they felt and find some professional help that allowed them to work with how they feel it might take quite some time certainly more than a few months

I certainly wouldn’t very telling their story to a national paper with my photo added to it

Lots of us have been in a position where a child was unhappy and desperately wanting to change.

You go the way of least damage first, talking therapy for example, you don't blasting in with the big guns.

14! Dear god, DS is almost that and changes his mind on most things like the wind.

I agree that therapy would be the best option, but not everyone has the funds to afford private counselling with a therapist who specialises in trans/questioning dc.

Tbh it sounds like even Caleb has no idea who they want to be.

I agree with this. Caleb's confusion and sadness are clearly real.

Well this child was failed from a young age. She has suffered bullying throughout much of her childhood with much of this targeted at being different for not conforming in how she looks or what she likes. No wonder she has identity issues. What she needed was to be supported to work through all this and explore all options before deciding how she wanted to live her life.

"I agree that therapy would be the best option, but not everyone has the funds to afford private counselling with a therapist who specialises in trans/questioning dc."

Caleb had an NHS appointment, but Mermaids directed them to Dr. Webberley instead for pills by post.

I agree that therapy would be the best option, but not everyone has the funds to afford private counselling with a therapist who specialises in trans/questioning dc.

Maybe that's what Mermaids can help with?

This is child abuse and the Guardian is enormously irresponsible publishing this article without mentioning that Webberley has been sanctioned for prescribing willy nilly.

Trans suicide stats have been thoroughly debunked as the propaganda they are and Mermaids told by a High Court judge to cease contact with one family they 'advised'.

There are many posters on here who have had horrendous experiences with Mermaids for not toeing the party line. I think the Charity Commission should look into them.

I thought everyone knew the Stonewall survey on suicide statistics has now been shown to be scientifically flawed.

And that Samaritans has condemned the reporting of suicide stats in such a way as to drown out any views that are critical of the rush to medication and surgery.

I thought all the pro-trans people were reassuring everyone that children under 16 were never given hormones etc. Here is a 15 yo given puberty blockers and she is still on them. Who knows what damage that will cause to her (cancer etc).

Mermaids told by a High Court judge to cease contact with one family they 'advised'

That case was awful. The mum was convinced her son was a girl and basically forced it on him. He thrived with the dad, living as a boy. Mum was found to have been heavily influenced by Mermaids.