Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 39 40

AIBU?

To think most women have been victims of sexual assault? Has anyone not?

989 replies

Lighthouseturquoise · 15/10/2016 17:19

Has anyone here honestly never been a victim of some kind sexual assault.

Even if not rape be it some drunk bloke groping you in a nightclub, a date getting heavy handed or pushy,

an ex boyfriend who just got carried away,

a sleazy boss or work colleague roughing your leg or making an appropriate remarks,

a friends boyfriend coming onto you,

a man thinking you were coming onto him because you were friendly then not taking no for an answer,

a boyfriend coercing you into sex or something as a teenager.

Getting beeped at or wolf whistled and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

I think we sweep it all under the carpet and I bet the average woman during her life gets assaulted or harassed more than once.

OP posts:

Report

Bearbehind · 15/10/2016 17:21

I think this will end very badly OP

No I've never been the victim of sexual assualt and some of your examples are not 'assault'

Soubriquet · 15/10/2016 17:22

Yes I have

Friends dad sexually abused my as a teen. Sat on me and tickled my legs. Spanked me on my bum. Pinned me up against a wall, got right in close to me and just stared in my eyes.

First boyfriend tried to rape me

A friend of mine spiked my drink which causes me to do some pretty inappropriate behaviour

I didn't report any of them

WanderingNotLost · 15/10/2016 17:23

I have. It was almost par for the course if you were out in a club having a dance on a Saturday night, at some point there'd be some sleaze grinding behind you with is hands on your hips. Also been groped on a train, had my ass grabbed by a random passer by on the street and had bloke wanking next to me on the bus.

BeyondPolkadots · 15/10/2016 17:23

I have, and I have no idea of how many times.

Nishky · 15/10/2016 17:24

I was touched up twice at work, once when 19 and once when 22. I can't believe I didn't do anything about it.

I did report a comment I found disgusting made by a much senior man ( in age and position in company ) and was totally supported by the management. I was given a written apology and he was spoken to I strong terms.

This was all in the 80's.

Bigbiscuits · 15/10/2016 17:24

I honestly don't think I have experienced any of those things into life and I'm early fifties.

But I think I spent my student years emitting a "a do not approach" attitude.

Cactuar · 15/10/2016 17:24

Yanbu - I can't think of one of my female friends who has not had something like the things you mentioned happen to them - although some of them would say it was not harassment\sexual assault as I think a lot of women are socialised to minimise these things

Lelloteddy · 15/10/2016 17:25

6 posts in and we've already had minimising and victim blaming.

twattymctwatterson · 15/10/2016 17:25

You'll get lots of women saying they haven't been assaulted because pinching/groping/unwanted kissing/ men "coming on too strong" isn't assault because they've been conditioned to think that kind of behaviour is to be expected sometimes and they don't feel scarred by it so it wasn't assault

MyGiddyUncle · 15/10/2016 17:26

a friends boyfriend coming onto you

yeah i've had this one.

I'm interested to know how on Earth you categorise this as 'sexual assault' though

Bambambini · 15/10/2016 17:26

I find it hard to believevthere are women who have never been subjected to some kind of sexual harrassement, assault, groping etc and a then the lower level cat calling snd verbal aggression.

Hangtidy · 15/10/2016 17:27

Assault is generally defined as a physical thing rather than "someone coming on to you"

PotteringAlong · 15/10/2016 17:28

No, I haven't. And being wolf whistled at is not sexual assault. In fact, thinking that it is is pretty insulting to women who have been sexually assaulted.

Bearbehind · 15/10/2016 17:28

I agree bambambini but OP's title specifically says 'sexual assault' and being wolf whistled is not sexual assault.

BreatheDeep · 15/10/2016 17:28

Yep, nightclubs at university it was par for the course that some random man would grope in some way.

Bambambini · 15/10/2016 17:28

"I'm interested to know how on Earth you categorise this as 'sexual assault' though"

Depends if it was unwanted touching - people csn't just come up and touch you, kiss you.

chickenowner · 15/10/2016 17:29

I think you're right.

I've been groped several times in nightclubs, pubs, and once during the day walking through my local market.

I've also had my skirt pulled up by a man so that his group of friends could see if I was wearing tights or stockings.

zoebarnes · 15/10/2016 17:29

I do not know a single woman who has not been harrassed, assaulted, abused or raped at some point in their lives. And I know a lot of women.

TroysMammy · 15/10/2016 17:30

On a works night out about nearly 30 years ago one of my drunken colleagues tried to pull my skirt up. One of his fat, pink hands got a little too close to my mouth, so I bit it.

claraschu · 15/10/2016 17:30

I have never been assaulted or harassed. I am very lucky, and I also never liked parties, clubbing, drinking, etc, and led a very quiet life when I was younger. I think women should be able to go clubbing in short skirts and get drunk, if that is what they want to do, without having to worry about criminals attacking them.

I 100% support all the women who have been assaulted, believe them, and am outraged on their behalf. My husband and sons are all feminists and unreservedly condemn the creeps who attack and harass women.

Lighthouseturquoise · 15/10/2016 17:31

Really, I'm shocked to hear that people would minimise any of the things on my list.

By the way I said sexual assault/harassment.

But any one of those things could be quite traumatic to the person on the receiving end.

The very fact that people are saying those things aren't serious shows the culture we are in where rape is only rape if it's a stranger behind a bush.

OP posts:

MyGiddyUncle · 15/10/2016 17:31

Depends if it was unwanted touching - people csn't just come up and touch you, kiss you

Well in my case, he leaned in and kissed me - brief lip contact until I pulled away.

You're not seriously suggesting that that's a sexual assault?

SolomanDaisy · 15/10/2016 17:31

When I was a teenager I didn't realise groping etc was sexual assault. I just thought that was what happened if you had big breasts and didn't wear a sack. It's quite scary to think I thought like that, how accepting girls are of appalling male behaviour.

RitchyBestingFace · 15/10/2016 17:31

But I think I spent my student years emitting a "a do not approach" attitude.

Yes attitude is a well-established factor in preventing sexual assault FFS. What a victim blaming response.

YANBU OP.

kissingJustForPractice · 15/10/2016 17:31

Yes, first time was when I was still at junior school, an older boy grabbed my vulva as he cycled past. Also flashed at twice, once as a pre teen, while I was in a school uniform. As an adult was at a party at a friend's house and went for a nap and some sleazy bloke touched me up while I was asleep - I woke up obviously and he apologised "I thought you were asleep".

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 39 40

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.