AIBU to turn down a job over leave and flexible working?

[R4ndy]

AIBU to have turned down a job. I work in marketing and have worked in agencies for a number of years but am looking for a change. A great sounding role became available at a local university, requiring many of my skills and so I applied. I got an interview on Monday and was offered the role on Thursday. At this point I asked what their flexible working setup is as the role advertised 'flexible working arrangements'. I was told that hybrid wasn't an option and that there would be a requirement to be in the office 5 days a week.

I then brought up the subject of existing holiday and said it wasn't asked at interview but I do have two holidays booked, 1 in July for 1 week and 1 in October for 3 weeks. She expressed her concern about them being around peak periods but took my dates.

She asked me to hand my notice in today (friday) so i could start in 4 weeks as they need someone asap. I explained i wouldn't be handing my notice in until i have a formal offer in writing to consider so she said she would start the process.

I followed up with an email today just stating that I have thought about it and how it might work for us as a family and i need some commitment that there might be flexibility once i am fully onboarded. 1 day a week from home to start, moving to 2 days a week.

I also reiterated that my notice period is 4 weeks and i would let her know once my resignation had been given.

I received this email back -

Thank you for your time today. As discussed during the interview process, we are seeking to engage a candidate as soon as possible.

Further to our conversation, we are unable to accommodate your leave request for July as this falls at a critical time, when applications open for degree-based apprenticeships.

Regarding your request for 3 weeks' leave in September, I regret to advise that leave cannot be accommodated at this time, as it falls at the opposite time of the application process, where the completed applications for degree-based apprenticeships are returned.

Regarding your request for flexible working arrangements, it will not be possible to offer remote work arrangements or other flexible working arrangements within the first 12 months of employment.

Any future requests would need to be considered against operational requirements at that time. However, for transparency, working remotely for 2 days per week does not align with the current requirements of the position and is unlikely to be supported unless there are significant operational changes in the future.

Please can you confirm by 5 pm, 22 May 2026, if you wish to proceed with the application process, with the understanding that we are unable to support the requests you have made for leave and flexible working arrangements.

If we have not received confirmation of these terms by this time, you will be considered to have withdrawn your application for the position.

I am very shocked and saddened at the lack of understanding and want to know if my expectations are wrong. I would also like to know if I did something wrong?

She has taken time this week to get references, interview me etc.

What a waste.

I work in admin at a university and there are a few months in the year where teaching office staff aren’t allowed leave. 3 weeks in a go would be hugely unusual and requires sign off from the director and would never be approved for staff involved in recruitment or marking, etc during the core months. Just like it wouldn’t be approved for a teacher. Some jobs have built in inflexibility and there’s nothing unusual about that.

I have flexible working (compressed) and hybrid working - they’re two different things at my university.

Anyway it’s super simple here - you want a hybrid role without holiday timing restrictions and this isn’t that role. Say no thank you politely without burning bridges and move on.

As usual first post nails it

you have had a lucky escape

The request is. Accepting it isn't.

It’s not a good fit for you.
I'm also wondering what university it is where applicants apply to the training provider for degree apprenticeships

I think the only thing that's really gone wrong here is they said flexible working was available. To some employers this literally means you can start and finish half an hour later. Not hybrid.

You don’t suit each other so I don’t see any other option except to walk away,

It’s interesting how the majority of posters are conflating flexible working arrangements with WFH.

There are a plethora of flexible working arrangements, INCLUDING wfh.

At least she’s made their position clear before you resigned…

Turn it down, it’s not the right fit for you and that’s perfectly ok.

Thank you everyone for your replies, I appreciate them all. I think that's where the confusion has come from, flexible working arrangements doesn't have to mean hybrid however, she has stated they won't be able to offer any flexible working in the first 12 months and so to me, they should not have had that on the JD & I think they just copied and pasted it without reviewing. I also didn't discuss it at interview, I asked it once I had the offer as it was going to be a big part of the decision as to whether i would accept it.

I agree, an interview is 2 ways and it was a red flag to me that she didn't seem to appreciate that, she didn't even tell me salary until after we had discussed start date and she had asked me to hand my notice in the next day. I was planning to start after my July holiday as that's only 6 weeks away and my notice is 4 weeks!

I live in Australia and here it is very common for people to take 3-4 weeks off to visit Europe, every job I have had since moving here has had people doing that. I will keep looking and hopefully find something to start in October once I am back from my trip (I leave end of sept for.3 weeks hence her saying Sept and me saying Oct.)

I am disappointed it hasn't worked out but it has helped me define my non-negotiables. Thank you again to everyone who has taken the time to respond.

I live in Australia

Saying this upfront would have been helpful and you wouldn’t have pages of people arguing about UK employment law…….

And thinking Sept/Oct was obviously the worst time of year to take off from a university role.

I'm not sure now if I agree they shouldn't have said flexible if it isn't because not sure what the rules and custom are in Australia, but here in the UK it could mean anything from just non-fixed start and finish times to that plus hybrid/part-time/term time only.

Good luck anyway @R4ndy

They’ve done absolutely nothing wrong to the contrary they’ve been very upfront about there criteria and policies

quite simply it’s not the job for you

Way too many red flags - the first was when the job was advertised as flexible. Places do this to lure people in - and it ends up like your situation. It’s annoying and underhand.

It’s NOT anything you’ve done. They’d be an awful place to work if this is their ‘best behaviour’ to attract and impress new staters.

Exactly, I've been reading this thinking how could an employer not be aware of the legislation and I was going to ask what university it was that was so out of touch

Aside from the now redundant comments about the legalities of course you aren't unreasonable not to accept a job that is totally unsuitable, how could you be? Or do people in Oz never decline jobs offers?

I thought the academic year ran differently in Australia and New Zealand?

It does! So all the advice about why July and Oct holidays don’t work in the academic year won’t be valid

Sorry guys, I genuinely didn't realise this platform was only UK. I am from the UK but live in Aus.

School hols are July & October here and so my holidays are in the school holidays.

Appreciate all of the advice and opinions and sorry again.

It’s not only UK, it’s the internet but people forget that, no need to apologise.

It's ok, it's a uk-based website so I tend to assume posters are too.

Definitely walk away. They initially said there were flexible working conditions-clearly that is not true. I understand that the holidays are tricky for them to honour , but they surely should know people will have already booked by now?

People on MN are from around the globe, but unless someone specifies 'I live and Peru and would like advice on housing/schools etc' then I think majority of us do assume you live in the UK and want UK centric advice.

Just add that you are in sunny Aus next time 😎