AIBU to turn down a job over leave and flexible working?

[R4ndy]

AIBU to have turned down a job. I work in marketing and have worked in agencies for a number of years but am looking for a change. A great sounding role became available at a local university, requiring many of my skills and so I applied. I got an interview on Monday and was offered the role on Thursday. At this point I asked what their flexible working setup is as the role advertised 'flexible working arrangements'. I was told that hybrid wasn't an option and that there would be a requirement to be in the office 5 days a week.

I then brought up the subject of existing holiday and said it wasn't asked at interview but I do have two holidays booked, 1 in July for 1 week and 1 in October for 3 weeks. She expressed her concern about them being around peak periods but took my dates.

She asked me to hand my notice in today (friday) so i could start in 4 weeks as they need someone asap. I explained i wouldn't be handing my notice in until i have a formal offer in writing to consider so she said she would start the process.

I followed up with an email today just stating that I have thought about it and how it might work for us as a family and i need some commitment that there might be flexibility once i am fully onboarded. 1 day a week from home to start, moving to 2 days a week.

I also reiterated that my notice period is 4 weeks and i would let her know once my resignation had been given.

I received this email back -

Thank you for your time today. As discussed during the interview process, we are seeking to engage a candidate as soon as possible.

Further to our conversation, we are unable to accommodate your leave request for July as this falls at a critical time, when applications open for degree-based apprenticeships.

Regarding your request for 3 weeks' leave in September, I regret to advise that leave cannot be accommodated at this time, as it falls at the opposite time of the application process, where the completed applications for degree-based apprenticeships are returned.

Regarding your request for flexible working arrangements, it will not be possible to offer remote work arrangements or other flexible working arrangements within the first 12 months of employment.

Any future requests would need to be considered against operational requirements at that time. However, for transparency, working remotely for 2 days per week does not align with the current requirements of the position and is unlikely to be supported unless there are significant operational changes in the future.

Please can you confirm by 5 pm, 22 May 2026, if you wish to proceed with the application process, with the understanding that we are unable to support the requests you have made for leave and flexible working arrangements.

If we have not received confirmation of these terms by this time, you will be considered to have withdrawn your application for the position.

I am very shocked and saddened at the lack of understanding and want to know if my expectations are wrong. I would also like to know if I did something wrong?

She has taken time this week to get references, interview me etc.

What a waste.

I would definitely have asked about the flexible working and holiday at interview - it seems odd not to ask about it if accepting the role was dependent on it.

you were making assumptions I think that wfh or hybrid would be accepted as flexible working can include many things.

doesn’t sounds like a fit for you or for them.

I don't think that a new employee would be entitled to that much holiday so soon after starting even if it wasn't a particularly busy period. For starters when does the leave year start? I'm used to it being 1st April but universities don't do that, and the Civil service is different too. So, she might not even have paid leave to take a holiday.
Yes, I realise that's not the issue.

Red flags. Plus why do they need someone so immediately, especially over the summer?? The last person quit without notice?? Why would they do that??

It's a no from me.

I'm aware of that, but those are the exact words the OP said in her OP for wanting flexibility, hence I wondered if she'd actually said that to the employer?

I am very shocked and saddened at the lack of understanding and want to know if my expectations are wrong.

“Very shocked and saddened” is the kind of language politicians use in a statement following a tragedy. You’ve had a hybrid working request declined.

I can see why you thought the role was likely to offer hybrid working. I can see why you asked again even when they’d said no - you don’t ask, you don’t get. But to be “shocked and saddened” that no did actually mean no? It’s OTT. It doesn’t even make sense.

She has taken time this week to get references, interview me etc. What a waste.

That's just the hiring process, on both sides. It doesn’t always work out, even if you get to references stage (which is what, sending a couple of emails?). Nobody hires someone just because they’ve spent the time on the interview.

I agree with you. This is definitely a “bait and switch” scenario. I’ve experienced it too and it’s such a stupid thing for employers to do. They’re just wasting everyone’s time.
Frankly for the managers to have not asked about pre-booked holidays prior to an offer being made if they are an organisation that is so restrictive about when leave is taken says a lot too.

Red flags aplenty. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is one of those jobs that is re-advertised multiple times a year.

They sound awful. It is absolute standard practice to honour existing holiday bookings when taking on a new staff member. Have never come across an organisation that hasn’t agreed to this. You can be sure that if you accepted the job booking time off would be a nightmare and all year round would be a “busy time”. The refusal to allow any hybrid working at all is highly unusual in the university sector. I work in a finance role in the sector and have never seen a job advert for similar roles that doesn’t offer at least 2 days per week from home. Walk away.

This is hilarious 😆

There are very limited grounds in which it can be declined.

I am interested in how your organisation doesn’t allow it and remains legally compliant:

The grounds are reasonably vague. I don’t know anyone that has genuinely struggled to apply one when desired.

I think you'd know that a 3 week holiday wouldn't be a standard holiday though.

No way would I accept the job, keep looking.

It sounds rigid and inflexible and you'd probably struggle to ever get time off.

Applying it vaguely is one thing - it’s whether it would stand up to challenge.

I wouldn’t accept the job OP. Keep looking.

Not had a single issue.

Probably one of these organisations that has a higher than necessary staff turnover and ends up agreeing Acas Early Conciliation and without prejudice agreements left, right and centre. I’ve worked for a few like it.

At the end of the day it’s a stupid organisation to be including “flexible working arrangements” in job adverts and then when candidates enquire further, they get the response the OP had. The only conclusion is they do it to try and attract more people to apply. In my view it’s as asinine as companies that list “28 days annual leave a year” as a staff benefit when this is the minimum entitlement for a full time worker.

Our systems are by no means all computerised, so it would be impossible for anyone to effectively work from home, they wouldn't have access to the analogue records, addressograph cards, plans etc that are used all the time.

The office is small and appended to the factory, we open at 9.00 and close at 5.00, office staff are continuously performing tasks for the factory and wholesale sales - so its just no practical for us to be flexible.

Saying that, no one would be refused a few hours off to go to the Drs or deal with a family emergency.

What about part time staff? Compressed hours?

We don't have any part time staff, only a small full time office - office staff are required on site from 9.00 until 5.00 PM Monday to Friday.

The tone of that email. So RUDE.

Agree they’ve changed their mind about employing you but prefer to be oblique about it rather than definitively state it. That wouldn’t be a culture for me.