AIBU to turn down a job over leave and flexible working?

[R4ndy]

AIBU to have turned down a job. I work in marketing and have worked in agencies for a number of years but am looking for a change. A great sounding role became available at a local university, requiring many of my skills and so I applied. I got an interview on Monday and was offered the role on Thursday. At this point I asked what their flexible working setup is as the role advertised 'flexible working arrangements'. I was told that hybrid wasn't an option and that there would be a requirement to be in the office 5 days a week.

I then brought up the subject of existing holiday and said it wasn't asked at interview but I do have two holidays booked, 1 in July for 1 week and 1 in October for 3 weeks. She expressed her concern about them being around peak periods but took my dates.

She asked me to hand my notice in today (friday) so i could start in 4 weeks as they need someone asap. I explained i wouldn't be handing my notice in until i have a formal offer in writing to consider so she said she would start the process.

I followed up with an email today just stating that I have thought about it and how it might work for us as a family and i need some commitment that there might be flexibility once i am fully onboarded. 1 day a week from home to start, moving to 2 days a week.

I also reiterated that my notice period is 4 weeks and i would let her know once my resignation had been given.

I received this email back -

Thank you for your time today. As discussed during the interview process, we are seeking to engage a candidate as soon as possible.

Further to our conversation, we are unable to accommodate your leave request for July as this falls at a critical time, when applications open for degree-based apprenticeships.

Regarding your request for 3 weeks' leave in September, I regret to advise that leave cannot be accommodated at this time, as it falls at the opposite time of the application process, where the completed applications for degree-based apprenticeships are returned.

Regarding your request for flexible working arrangements, it will not be possible to offer remote work arrangements or other flexible working arrangements within the first 12 months of employment.

Any future requests would need to be considered against operational requirements at that time. However, for transparency, working remotely for 2 days per week does not align with the current requirements of the position and is unlikely to be supported unless there are significant operational changes in the future.

Please can you confirm by 5 pm, 22 May 2026, if you wish to proceed with the application process, with the understanding that we are unable to support the requests you have made for leave and flexible working arrangements.

If we have not received confirmation of these terms by this time, you will be considered to have withdrawn your application for the position.

I am very shocked and saddened at the lack of understanding and want to know if my expectations are wrong. I would also like to know if I did something wrong?

She has taken time this week to get references, interview me etc.

What a waste.

i’m Guessing you’ve read ‘Woman’ by Kirsten Hannah from your user name.,

You can decline the job for any reason, however I would say that my common sense tells me that the busiest time of year for universities is the summer period so not allowing holidays then is probably the case for many employees. The other point is that I would have asked for clarification on what flexible working actually means in this instance.
I would say that the public sector in general often has to think more of when each section is going to be busy and what sort of working is best for them. The way services are managed can be different.

Flexibility can be requested from day one of employment. Op isn’t employed yet.

Also she requested (demanded) a hybrid wfh role after being told it’s not available. .

Do you mean "The Women"?

Well, it's up to OP but I certainly would be crossing this employer off my list for consideration in future.

So? Flexible does not have to include location just because it can.
They already told her at interview that hybrid wasn't an option. They are not obliged to allow it. That doesn't mean other flexible arrangements aren't an option. It isn't 'bait'.

YANBU to turn this down.

I'm always surprised by employers who advertise flexibility, then insist you work from the office 5 days a week, within the exact hours they stipulate. If they were upfront from the beginning, they wouldn't waste their own time and that of candidates looking for something different.

Lots of employers advertise flexible working when all they actually mean is they will fulfil their legal obligations to review flexible working requests and won’t give you hard time for going to the doctors or dentist a couple of times a year. Just walk away OP, the job isn’t a good match for either side.

I don’t know why they don’t all just put as standard in the ads whether it’s 5 days a week in the office or, if hybrid, how many days a week at home vs the office. Same with salary - just tell me what you’re paying so we don’t both waste time only to discover the top end is 10k less than I’m after.

I wouldn’t say this at all. Jobs are a small world so you don’t want to burn your bridges- there might be another opportunity there in the future. I would just say “thanks for your email. Seems like this opportunity isnt the right fit for me. Good luck with your search.

YANBU to decline.

It's false advertising. Or seeking to obtain services by deception.

I don't think the police would be interested though, if you were to allege a criminal offence re deception.

Perhaps contact your MP, especially if they are a Labour one, as their recent Employment Rights Bill should have included laws about recruitment practices.

I’d consider you had a lucky escape! If they’re being like this when they (apparently) want you (and are desperate by the sound of it) they will get more and more unreasonable.

It is not the job for you and you are not the person for them
Move on

I think you've both dodged bullets there

The way it was advertised is bait

Walk away. I walked away from an on-paper amazing job for similar reasons. Am now in a different job with lots of WFH, better holidays, etc. This is a useful test to help you understand what's truly most important to you in a role for the future.

I wouldn’t take it.

Its not just the annoyance at full time office working, its the attitude that that suggests - presenteeism, poor management that doesn’t feel able to manage without people in front of them etc.

They can run their business how they like of course. But I wouldn’t work there unless I was desperate.

I also think it’s very shitty to put “flexible working” in the job advert when that clearly isn’t the case. It sounds like the flexible working they allow is essentially the bare minimum required by law, so not really something to advertise like it’s a perk.

Avoid! Not the place I would want to work

I agree with those PP upthread who feel that you dodged a bullet. They mislead applicants with promises of flexibility. Refusal to honour pre booked holiday arrangements is always a poor sign.

Years ago I applied for an academic research job which was advertised as full time. At the interview I was blindsided when they admitted they were really looking for a job sharer. I told them that as a single person with no partner a half time salary would not be sufficient for my needs. I also stated that I felt that had seriously misled applicants by advertising the post as full time. The answer was that it had been intended as a full time post. However in the meantime an existing employee returning from maternity leave had asked to drop down to part time.This was their way of accommodating her request.

They should correctly have advertised the post as full/part time and asked applicants to state their preference (if any) in their covering letter. That way they could have interviewed only part time applicants and not wasted the resources of those who desired a full time post.

Despite my objections they offered me a half time post but I declined and stated my reasons in my reply. I reckon that I too probably dodged a bullet. Their existing employee would naturally get the choice of all the plum tasks and best hours, leaving the newcomer with the dross.

How is it bait?
Explain it to me in simple terms why you think that advertising a position as flexible in any way, shape or form suggests it allows for hybrid working.
If a job advert states hybrid, it allows some WFH. If it states flexible, it does not automatically do so. The problem here is applicants not understanding and conflating different terminology.

I don't disagree that OP should turn the job down as it doesn't meet what she wants (a hybrid role). That doesn't mean that another applicant wouldn't have their preferred flexible approach approved.

YANBU. You're in the negotiating stage, and they are not coming your way. Plus they won't come your way in the future if you need it, if this is their attitude.

I always feel like employers think that they are the ones to decide on a candidate, but interviews and hiring are a two-way street, it needs to align both sides.

The right to request flexible working is something everyone in the UK has, from day 1. This company’s blanket policy that they don’t allow flexible working requests for the first year seems dodgy on that basis alone tbh. And because of that, I’d bet money that the flexibility they do grant is really pretty minimal.

They’re saying she can ask but it won’t be approved. And it wouldn’t be hard to do that in line with legal requirements.

See above. The right is to ASK, not to HAVE.

Yes I know. But does a blanket ban on all requests ride slightly roughshod over the legal right to ask? Don’t all requests have to be considered on their own merit?