AIBU to turn down a job over leave and flexible working?

[R4ndy]

AIBU to have turned down a job. I work in marketing and have worked in agencies for a number of years but am looking for a change. A great sounding role became available at a local university, requiring many of my skills and so I applied. I got an interview on Monday and was offered the role on Thursday. At this point I asked what their flexible working setup is as the role advertised 'flexible working arrangements'. I was told that hybrid wasn't an option and that there would be a requirement to be in the office 5 days a week.

I then brought up the subject of existing holiday and said it wasn't asked at interview but I do have two holidays booked, 1 in July for 1 week and 1 in October for 3 weeks. She expressed her concern about them being around peak periods but took my dates.

She asked me to hand my notice in today (friday) so i could start in 4 weeks as they need someone asap. I explained i wouldn't be handing my notice in until i have a formal offer in writing to consider so she said she would start the process.

I followed up with an email today just stating that I have thought about it and how it might work for us as a family and i need some commitment that there might be flexibility once i am fully onboarded. 1 day a week from home to start, moving to 2 days a week.

I also reiterated that my notice period is 4 weeks and i would let her know once my resignation had been given.

I received this email back -

Thank you for your time today. As discussed during the interview process, we are seeking to engage a candidate as soon as possible.

Further to our conversation, we are unable to accommodate your leave request for July as this falls at a critical time, when applications open for degree-based apprenticeships.

Regarding your request for 3 weeks' leave in September, I regret to advise that leave cannot be accommodated at this time, as it falls at the opposite time of the application process, where the completed applications for degree-based apprenticeships are returned.

Regarding your request for flexible working arrangements, it will not be possible to offer remote work arrangements or other flexible working arrangements within the first 12 months of employment.

Any future requests would need to be considered against operational requirements at that time. However, for transparency, working remotely for 2 days per week does not align with the current requirements of the position and is unlikely to be supported unless there are significant operational changes in the future.

Please can you confirm by 5 pm, 22 May 2026, if you wish to proceed with the application process, with the understanding that we are unable to support the requests you have made for leave and flexible working arrangements.

If we have not received confirmation of these terms by this time, you will be considered to have withdrawn your application for the position.

I am very shocked and saddened at the lack of understanding and want to know if my expectations are wrong. I would also like to know if I did something wrong?

She has taken time this week to get references, interview me etc.

What a waste.

The operational requirements of this role mean hybrid is not available, particularly during busy enrolment periods. There are also likely to be business critical periods when holiday is embargoed.

Their JD should have made this clear and needs beefing up. However, theynarenfully within their rights to decline flexible working, as they may already have done for existing staff.

Your requirements and the operational needs of the service do not align so politely let them know you are declining their offer.

I wonder why they are desperate for someone??? 😂😂😂

I too would decline, you aren't a good fit as employer / employee.

They are being unreasonable to advertise flexible working potential then not offer it. I think it is reasonable to reference this in your decline, the fact you applied on the basis of that statement being included in the ad. The other aspects I think are just a mismatch of working styles / expectations.

What a shitty email.

I wouldnt even bother responding. Sod em!

Why advertise the role as flexible?

Yes I wonder!

OP I would have turned the job down as well. I once did similar for a role I wanted as they were not willing to even consider an adjustment when I raised it at interview. They phoned to offer me the job and I said no.

Something better will come along. They were wrong to mislead in the advert about flexible working if that's not something they can offer. I would feed that back.

I'd respond with something like,

"As I applied for the position on the understanding that this role offered flexibility, I will not be proceeding further.

I would like it to be noted that I find it unprofessional and deceitful that this role was falsely advertised as flexible, and resent the waste of my time and effort in applying.

Best of luck with your search."

Because someone cocked up and loaded a generic JD. It happens and it has been spotted now and dealt with.

Its not shitty at all, the OP was told in the interview they couldn't do flexible and would look into holidays.

The OP persisted asking for these things and they have been clear in their response.

Their fault was not being clear in the advert - but flexible does not always mean WFH several days, it can mean flexible start and finish times etc.

The two parties are not compatible, end of.

I wouldn't use the word deceitful but otherwise I’d send this back.

May I ask what exact reason did you give for wanting flexible working? Did you actually say 'it might work for us as a family'? This wouldn't bode well IMO, but equally, they shouldn't advertise flexibility if they don't offer it. The also got your 3 week holiday month wrong, you say Oct and she said Sep!

I think you've dodged a bullet and hopefully you find someone else soon.

Flexible does not mean WFH or Hybrid, flexible can mean various things such as start and finish times.

Hybrid is the terminology most used to describe a job that can be office or home based.

Hybrid and flexible working are not the same thing. Flexible could be reduced hours each day, or starting earlier/later etc but still in the office. They don't accommodate WFH/hybrid and haven't said they do.

Starting half way through the year with an entire year's worth of statutory holiday booked as well. Almost nowhere I have worked allows 3 week blocks except for exceptional circumstances e.g. honeymoon.

Withdraw the application. You aren't the candidate they need. And it isn't the job you want.

Of course you are not unreasonable to decline the offer if the terms of the contract don't suit you. You aren't obliged to take a job simply because it's offered to you.

But they are equally not unreasonable to determine what they require for the job.

They aren't allowed to automatically decline flexible working requests in the first 12 months - they have to consider these in line with legal requirements, so that's a bit of a red flag. But they would not be under any obligation to offer hybrid working arrangements if they have a valid business reason as to why this wouldn't work.

Regarding your pre-booked holidays, I'm surprised that you didn't mention these at interview. Again, it's up to the employer as to how willing they are to accommodate these. I would assume from their fairly non-compromising response that they had a strong reserve candidate to whom they could offer the position if you chose to turn them down, so they didn't feel that they needed to bend over backwards to keep you on board.

Recruitment processes are two-way, and the arrangements have to work for both parties. It's fine for both sides to have red lines that that aren't willing to cross.

I’m guessing their idea of flexibility will be early/late start and finishes to accommodate children or other responsibilities and hybrid working is Norbert’s norm. I work in education and hybrid working for support staff is starting to become more accepted (due to change in ceo and coo in last 3/4 years.

Before this, working from home was only occasionally if you really needed it. We were often told that teachers weren’t able to work from home so it was unfair to allow support staff!

No I wouldn’t word it like this. You might want to apply in the future or you might want to negotiate. Or you might just come across them professionally in another job. Now is the opportunity to show your professionalism. Don’t send them an answer in a tone that they would not want an employee to use and that you would not expect to encounter in your professional life.

“ With regret, I’m not going to be able to proceed further with my application. I’m disappointed that the role doesn’t offer the flexibility that I thought the original advertisement was suggesting. If there’s any scope for looking at this aspect further, then it would be good to hear from you.“

Don't send this. It would be unprofessional and inaccurate. It wasn't advertised as hybrid.

Far better to briefly reply that having further considered, you feel the position is not what you are looking for at this time. Don't be rude and start talking about resenting them, deceit etc. You might want to apply for a different position there in future.

Would decline.

Poor that their advert said flexible working and didn’t make clear that leave is restricted at certain times.

They’re not necessarily unreasonable not to agree to 4 weeks leave in the first 6 months, including a 3 weeks block, however.

I think your holiday expectations are unrealistic given that it's a role in a university. There are critical times in the academic year when leave can't be taken. I also think your 3 week holiday is unreasonable. In many workplaces, leave lasting longer than 2 weeks requires special authorisation. You were right to uphold your boundary about resigning. Very cheeky of them. It's very poor of them to advertise flexible working and demand 5 days a week in the office. That's on them.

They haven’t been straight though have they as the job was advertised as flexible working .

Flexible does not equal hybrid. So many on this thread do not seem to understand this.
They told her hybrid was not an option.

I'd definitely turn this down, they sound pretty inflexible for an office job at a university. I wonder why they put flexible working in the advert if there basically isn't any?! Do they mean they're open to flexitime around your working hours (eg sometimes start at 10, finish at 6)?

Sounds like they’re desperate for you to say you’re not proceeding asap so they can offer it to someone else.

But flexible working is an over arching term that does include location. It seems they used that term as bait in the job ad

Sounds like an awful place to work. If you can't have time off in July or October how would that work with school holidays? Would all your leave have to be taken in term time? And this is how they respond when they are desperate for you to start work! Run. No wonder they have a vacancy.