AIBU to turn down a job over leave and flexible working?

[R4ndy]

AIBU to have turned down a job. I work in marketing and have worked in agencies for a number of years but am looking for a change. A great sounding role became available at a local university, requiring many of my skills and so I applied. I got an interview on Monday and was offered the role on Thursday. At this point I asked what their flexible working setup is as the role advertised 'flexible working arrangements'. I was told that hybrid wasn't an option and that there would be a requirement to be in the office 5 days a week.

I then brought up the subject of existing holiday and said it wasn't asked at interview but I do have two holidays booked, 1 in July for 1 week and 1 in October for 3 weeks. She expressed her concern about them being around peak periods but took my dates.

She asked me to hand my notice in today (friday) so i could start in 4 weeks as they need someone asap. I explained i wouldn't be handing my notice in until i have a formal offer in writing to consider so she said she would start the process.

I followed up with an email today just stating that I have thought about it and how it might work for us as a family and i need some commitment that there might be flexibility once i am fully onboarded. 1 day a week from home to start, moving to 2 days a week.

I also reiterated that my notice period is 4 weeks and i would let her know once my resignation had been given.

I received this email back -

Thank you for your time today. As discussed during the interview process, we are seeking to engage a candidate as soon as possible.

Further to our conversation, we are unable to accommodate your leave request for July as this falls at a critical time, when applications open for degree-based apprenticeships.

Regarding your request for 3 weeks' leave in September, I regret to advise that leave cannot be accommodated at this time, as it falls at the opposite time of the application process, where the completed applications for degree-based apprenticeships are returned.

Regarding your request for flexible working arrangements, it will not be possible to offer remote work arrangements or other flexible working arrangements within the first 12 months of employment.

Any future requests would need to be considered against operational requirements at that time. However, for transparency, working remotely for 2 days per week does not align with the current requirements of the position and is unlikely to be supported unless there are significant operational changes in the future.

Please can you confirm by 5 pm, 22 May 2026, if you wish to proceed with the application process, with the understanding that we are unable to support the requests you have made for leave and flexible working arrangements.

If we have not received confirmation of these terms by this time, you will be considered to have withdrawn your application for the position.

I am very shocked and saddened at the lack of understanding and want to know if my expectations are wrong. I would also like to know if I did something wrong?

She has taken time this week to get references, interview me etc.

What a waste.

The word flexible implies overall flexibility, I know that is not specific as hybrid is but the implication is there.

This isn’t the right job for op, and op isn’t the right candidate fir the job. . Op wants to discuss flexibility, but is actually being non-flexible, dictating when she wants to work, (and take holiday) and is then unhappy when the employer has refused her requests.

As others have stated, there’s a difference between hybrid and flexibility.

Nah, I'd walk away too.

OP, YANBU to turn this down. Having had university positions where there were periods of 2-3 weeks when leave was discouraged and would probably be refused, I can see the employer's reasoning. When I have accepted positions when there was reluctance on other flexibility, though, this turned out to be due to predecessors who had at one stage been accommodated, but the arrangement had gone sour, so it was a bugbear already and something with history for the employer to toughen up on. That is not usually reflected in the job description, which is (mostly) more the province of HR.

Hope that you find something more suitable.

Flexible working in universities is a thing but approval for 3 weeks annual leave in Sep and Oct is unheard of.

The email gave you with clarity the information you needed to make your decision. I don't think that's "shitty". I think it's helpful.

Stuff that, I’d keep looking!

You clearly aren't the right person for the job. Flexible can mean flexi hours, adjusted start and finish times etc and does not solely mean hybrid. The holidays thing is unfortunate, but they have operational reasons.

Post-Covid “flexible working” is commonly misconstrued to mean hybrid, as even many job ads themselves use the term flexible interchangeably to depict where the person can work. Hybrid working can also accurately be described as flexible working, as many employers allow their staff to pick their office days or where they work from.

Given the large number of people nowadays who now seek WFH, they can avoid wasting their own time on candidates who aren’t suitable by simply stating “5 days a week in office” on the ad or adding an application question that says “can you confirm you are able to work 5 days a week in the office?”

One can be both technically correct in terminology and unclear at the same time.

It's fine for you to walk away. Your needs are not compatible with this role.

"Flexible working" is a lot wider than WFH. They might well be able to accommodate working 7:30am to 3:30pm or 10am to 6pm instead of 9:00-5:00 to enable you to do half the school run for example. But it's totally fair enough for them to need someone who is office based and your prebooked holiday is also incompatible with their needs.

So neither you nor they were being unreasonable. Another opportunity will be along soon.

They haven’t banned the request. They’ve managed expectations that any request is unlikely to be approved.

This.

flexible working is different from hybrid. We offer “flexible working” in that as long as you do your hours between 7am and 7pm, it’s up to you. Some do 7-3, others 10-6, some work 3 longer days and 2 shorter, etc. but it is all in office.

you asked about hybrid. They said no. You asked again, still no. So they are not unreasonable.

holidays slightly different. Most workplaces will honour previously booked a/l.

i think it simply a mismatch. You don’t want the conditions that they are offering, they don’t want the conditions you are offering. So fine, walk away.

Ah, so exactly as I said. It is applicants who are fundamentally failing to understand what they are applying for. Got it.

We offer flexible working covering a whole range of things.

We had a receptionist ask to work from home 3 days a week. she got extremely stroppy when she was told no because her role required her to be on site during office hours. She said it was unfair because we offer WFH in other roles. So we told her to apply for one of the many roles which allowed WFH. She didn’t bother. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Employers must handle the requests in a reasonable manner. A blanket ban on any requests in the first year is not reasonable by any measure.

They can absolutely deny every request made for reasonable business reasons, but it is unreasonable to now say - for example - that there is no way in the first year they know there is a business reason to decline all possible flexible working requests. Particularly in a job described as flexible.

She has effectively made a request and they have considered it and responded. They cannot accommodate it and have detailed why.

We don’t allow compressed hours - people request them anyway but we have a blanket ban unless required for medical/disability reasons. I don’t see this any differently.

I understand a no WFH policy. I sort of understand a no compressed hours policy (although I’m not sure how you’re legally declining this if it is in fact possible for some people to do it but not others, but fine).

Describing a job as having flexible working and then saying:

it will not be possible to offer remote work arrangements or other flexible working arrangements within the first 12 months of employment.

is at least a red flag, if not illegal. Even you haven’t said your work doesn’t allow no flexible working at all. Presumably because you consider (and maybe decline) every request in its specific merits, as you’re legally required to do.

Walk away. Sounds shit

I’m slightly gobsmacked that a receptionist expected to work from home. It’s a customer facing role!

There no need to give a reason for flexibility it’s none of the employers business

Hybrid however is within the range of options for flexible working.

'You can stick your job up your arse then' would be my immediate response to receiving an officious email like that. But worded more politely of course, in that you are disappointed to turn it down, but it appears that they have wasted your time applying for a flexible role which turned out to be not as advertised.

Well they should really have made that clear at the interview stage then, and asked candidates about existing holiday plans if it is so important to them.

Nothing surprises me anymore. The entitlement of people is a wonder most days.

If you've never worked in a university you wouldn't know that, would you?

During the course of my previous job, I was in regular contact with the finance department of a very well-known university. They described it as a horrible place to work, and said the entire finance team was made up of temporary staff at that time, as all the permanent staff had left. In disgust, by the sound of it. I wouldn't have wanted to work there, that's for sure.