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Original poster

Boss will not authorize holiday

198 replies

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 07:55

My boss plays mind games constantly. He enjoys it.
I applied for 4 days holiday as have long weekend away with DH, hotel stay and concert. (Last year I hardly took any holiday and had to be forced to use them up, I enjoy my job)
I forgot to apply for the 4 days when I booked it in Jan and only remembered to apply for them at the end of March.
By this time my colleague had booked one day off for one day out which is in the middle of my 4 days. So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days.
Boss joked that me and my colleague will have to fight it out for that day.
But he still has not authorised my leave and it's two weeks away. The other day after asking if he was going to authorise it, he said again that we would have to "fight it out".
If this is another game, I don't want to play it.
If I ask him he will enjoy saying the same thing again. He is also putting me and my colleague, who I really like, in a horrible situation for one days holiday.
Do I cancel and lose the ticket money £140, hotel can be cancelled. Or, just wait? Just in case it's another mind game.
I do respect the rules and fully understand a boss has to stick to them but one day?
Would you cancel or wait and see?

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 30/05/2023 07:57

Can you have both of you off on the same day?

If not it doesn’t actually sound like a game - just that you’ll have to discuss it with your colleague if they’ll give up their day if you’ve to get it off

Lougle · 30/05/2023 07:57

I think he is telling you to negotiate with your colleague because both won't be authorised. He is in his right to do this. You have a right to leave but he has the right to dictate when that leave takes place.

I don't see why you think 'in theory she booked it before me'. She did book it before you. That you knew you needed to book it before she booked it isn't the issue.

questgp · 30/05/2023 07:59

I find your reaction a bit odd, if my boss wouldn't tell me a straight answer I would challenge them on it, not sit around waiting to lose money and not know if I can go away.

Ylvamoon · 30/05/2023 08:00

Sounds like you won't get the day off unless your colleague cancelles hers.

I don't think your boss is playing mind games, he just doesn't know how to say no to you.

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 08:00

You presumably can’t have holiday at the same time as your colleague

so if your colleague won’t give up her day off, yes you will have to cancel

he’s just ducking out of being straight with you

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/05/2023 08:00

He's not authorising your holiday because you can't both be off, he's giving you a chance to talk to your colleague before rejecting yours

Hellocatshome · 30/05/2023 08:00

Are you not allowed to be off at the same time? If so you need to have a discussion with your colleague and see if she would be willing to move her one day. Happens all the time where I work and we generally work it out between us.

Blanketpolicy · 30/05/2023 08:00

Your colleague got there first, if they cant/wont give up their holiday ask your boss if yours will can be approved on the basis they wont cancel.

LeroyJenkinssss · 30/05/2023 08:02

I think he’s letting you know that unless you guys sort it out amongst yourselves, you won’t be getting annual leave.

are two people allowed off at the same time? If not, your colleague booked before so their leave will stand. You need to be a grown up and talk to the colleague asap!

Quveas · 30/05/2023 08:03

Ylvamoon · 30/05/2023 08:00

Sounds like you won't get the day off unless your colleague cancelles hers.

I don't think your boss is playing mind games, he just doesn't know how to say no to you.

This is how I read it as well. If there is a rule that only one person can have leave at any time (which you sort of imply) then she has booked it forst and it's hers, so if you also want it then you need to discuss with her. Perhaps she can rearrange. If not then you need to cut down the long weekend - you maybe don't have to cancel the whole thing?

cryinglaughing · 30/05/2023 08:04

I don't get the 1 day v 4 day thing, it is irrelevant. Her 1 day might be as important to her as your 4 day.

I would be asking him to spell out what he means. He sounds like a prat of a manager if he can't just say no to you.

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 08:06

He will

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 08:07

He will authorise holiday he OP

As long as in accordance with holiday rules for your company

SparklyTwinkleGlitter · 30/05/2023 08:07

He is a shit boss but you don’t have to accept his poor handling of employee relationships.

You need to stand up to crappy bosses so every time he replies with something stupid like this, don’t accept it but ask him what he means and don’t let him weasel out of having a straight conversation.

Makemyday99 · 30/05/2023 08:08

I don’t think he’s playing mind games he just isn’t being direct in saying that you can’t be off at the same time. I have the same issue with employees during school summer hols whereby a few want to take time off for childcare but they can’t be off at same time so I ask them to sort it out between them as it makes it easier but to be honest one day overlap wouldn’t be a huge issue anyway. It’s odd to ask you to ‘fight it out’ but I would assume he won’t authorise your leave if it clashes with your colleague. Just speak to your colleague & see if they can move it or just move yours. Even though 1 day does seem harsh if that’s policy then it’s policy & I wouldn’t recommend booking anything until leave is authorised

Nameinspirationneeded · 30/05/2023 08:08

id email asking for a specific answer. Then he has yes, no (colleague got in first, decided) or yes if you can agree that the other person withdraws leave request.
If you don’t get an answer a day later contact HR.

SD1978 · 30/05/2023 08:09

There's no 'in theory'- she booked the day off first. Do you have an HR department? Do written requests have to be answered within a certain period time frame? Can your colleague request a different day, or are her plans unmovable? If there is someone above him to CC- with a timeframe of when the requests was made, and how long you've been waiting for an answer, I would. It means you'll probably be refused but would maybe identify the game playing to higher management.

Kinneddar · 30/05/2023 08:11

So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days

No. She DID apply for her 1 say off before you applied.

OCarumba · 30/05/2023 08:11

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 07:55

My boss plays mind games constantly. He enjoys it.
I applied for 4 days holiday as have long weekend away with DH, hotel stay and concert. (Last year I hardly took any holiday and had to be forced to use them up, I enjoy my job)
I forgot to apply for the 4 days when I booked it in Jan and only remembered to apply for them at the end of March.
By this time my colleague had booked one day off for one day out which is in the middle of my 4 days. So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days.
Boss joked that me and my colleague will have to fight it out for that day.
But he still has not authorised my leave and it's two weeks away. The other day after asking if he was going to authorise it, he said again that we would have to "fight it out".
If this is another game, I don't want to play it.
If I ask him he will enjoy saying the same thing again. He is also putting me and my colleague, who I really like, in a horrible situation for one days holiday.
Do I cancel and lose the ticket money £140, hotel can be cancelled. Or, just wait? Just in case it's another mind game.
I do respect the rules and fully understand a boss has to stick to them but one day?
Would you cancel or wait and see?

I’d just go on the holiday

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 08:12

OCarumba · 30/05/2023 08:11

I’d just go on the holiday

Show quote history

How odd

bumbledeedum · 30/05/2023 08:13

The only person playing games is you. Ask directly and get on with it, stop being so silly. Agree with all PP, your colleague booked it first so if you can't both have leave at the same time you'll either have to ask him/her to cancel their leave or ask your boss outright if he's willing to forego the requirement to have at least one of you in for one day to authorise the leave. This is on you OP.

Findyourneutralspace · 30/05/2023 08:13

Sounds like you can’t both be off at once. That’s common in many workplaces. He’s said you’ll have to fight it out - so you need to have a conversation with your colleague. Do you know why they want a random day off?
Could be something big, like a wedding or a hospital appointment, or a child’s sports day that they don’t want to miss. Or it might be that they fancy a day to themselves before the summer holidays and would happily move it to when you get back.
You just need the conversation and to sort it out among yourselves.

LimeCheesecake · 30/05/2023 08:15

Can you both be off at the same time? Does your company require one of you to be in, or would your company just prefer one of you to be in but can cope without either for one day?

Creamyoda · 30/05/2023 08:15

It doesn't sound like a game, it sounds like there can only be one person off at a time and you forgot to book your leave so someone else rightfully go in there first. He's saying someone can have the day off, the one who has requested it (your colleague) has it authorised but if you can negotiate with them and sort it between yourselves he will let you have it- he's not getting involved though.

Is this a policy your workplace has? Most have limits on how many people can be off at a time. It wouldn't be fair on him to turn around to say to your colleague she now can't have it as you want it, would it? Possibly if you can prove the wheels will keep turning for one day with you both off then maybe he might shift. The moral of the story is to remember to book your annual leave.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 30/05/2023 08:16

questgp · 30/05/2023 07:59

I find your reaction a bit odd, if my boss wouldn't tell me a straight answer I would challenge them on it, not sit around waiting to lose money and not know if I can go away.

But the OP isn't you and her boss isn't yours, I think we can assume that there's more to this and maybe the boss isnt a great one and what seems simple to you isn't at the OPs workplace

We need more info to comment properly

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