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Original poster

Boss will not authorize holiday

198 replies

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 07:55

My boss plays mind games constantly. He enjoys it.
I applied for 4 days holiday as have long weekend away with DH, hotel stay and concert. (Last year I hardly took any holiday and had to be forced to use them up, I enjoy my job)
I forgot to apply for the 4 days when I booked it in Jan and only remembered to apply for them at the end of March.
By this time my colleague had booked one day off for one day out which is in the middle of my 4 days. So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days.
Boss joked that me and my colleague will have to fight it out for that day.
But he still has not authorised my leave and it's two weeks away. The other day after asking if he was going to authorise it, he said again that we would have to "fight it out".
If this is another game, I don't want to play it.
If I ask him he will enjoy saying the same thing again. He is also putting me and my colleague, who I really like, in a horrible situation for one days holiday.
Do I cancel and lose the ticket money £140, hotel can be cancelled. Or, just wait? Just in case it's another mind game.
I do respect the rules and fully understand a boss has to stick to them but one day?
Would you cancel or wait and see?

OP posts:
Azandme · 30/05/2023 12:40

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 12:37

Yes and they got very upset and teary eyed, day out with older child planned

Then that's your answer.

You cannot have the leave because YOU fucked up. Not your boss, not "theoretically" your colleague. You.

It's a shame, but it's noone else's fault or responsibility.

Quveas · 30/05/2023 12:41

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 12:37

Yes and they got very upset and teary eyed, day out with older child planned

Is their day out less important than the activity you planned but didn't bother to book leave for?

Original poster
Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 12:41

@BerryGrumble my sentiments exactly and it's only one day

OP posts:
CindersAgain · 30/05/2023 12:43

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 12:39

I have no idea, it's never been discussed. We do different things so not linked in any way

You need to clarify if there is a policy of only one being off at a time.

BananaSpanner · 30/05/2023 12:45

I manage a team. We have a certain amount of people allowed off at any one time. However I do have some flex and would try and help
somone out in this situation leaving us slightly short staffed but realistically if we were already short (due to sickness etc) I would just say no. I don’t think it would occur to me to tell them to sort it out between themselves as the stronger character would likely win and that’s not fair.

OCarumba · 30/05/2023 12:47

OttoGraph · 30/05/2023 12:22

Don't ask again, take leave and if he says anything

just say we fought it out and both decided to have the time off work

Lol

MiniCooperLover · 30/05/2023 12:48

One day with both members of staff off in my office would be a real problem. You screwed up OP, not your boss, in this instance.

SoupDragon · 30/05/2023 12:51

Irritateandunreasonable · 30/05/2023 10:17

Your point being? He still has the law to follow.

He’s also had two months to ensure this one day has accurate coverage.

Show quote history

my point being she knows she can't have time off. It's very clear that is what he was saying and she couldn't be arsed to sort it out.

SoupDragon · 30/05/2023 12:52

You don't just sit around and do nothing when there's an issue like this and hope it goes away. He told her to sort it with her colleague (albeit in a jokey "fight it out" way) and she didn't.

Original poster
Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 12:55

@BananaSpanner you are bang on, I am not the strong one. I understand I have done wrong and will cancel everything. I was just hoping my boss would be lenient as we have had all off sick and I was here on my own, but that seems to be OK. Everyone on here seems very angry, is this what the working world has become, full of angry people?@BananaSpanner you seem to be one of the very few that sees people as people, even when on a social platform. Thank you

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 30/05/2023 12:55

Your boss, rightly or wrongly, believes they cannot have both of you off at the same time. You didn't try to book your holiday until after your colleague had booked theirs. They are unwilling to change.

Yes, work would have to cope if you were both ill on the same day, but that is a different situation. It doesn't mean they have to allow you both to take annual leave on the same day.

You may think people are being harsh, but they are right. This is a situation entirely of your own making. If you had booked the holiday in January, you wouldn't have had a problem.

LlynTegid · 30/05/2023 12:58

The response should have been a simple decline when asking. Nothing else, unprofessional of the manager to do otherwise.

Gothambutnotahamster · 30/05/2023 13:03

prh47bridge · 30/05/2023 12:55

Your boss, rightly or wrongly, believes they cannot have both of you off at the same time. You didn't try to book your holiday until after your colleague had booked theirs. They are unwilling to change.

Yes, work would have to cope if you were both ill on the same day, but that is a different situation. It doesn't mean they have to allow you both to take annual leave on the same day.

You may think people are being harsh, but they are right. This is a situation entirely of your own making. If you had booked the holiday in January, you wouldn't have had a problem.

I agree with this. In addition, we're always told to check holiday dates before booking anything as you're at risk of having holidays rejected. Sorry Op.

CindersAgain · 30/05/2023 13:05

LlynTegid · 30/05/2023 12:58

The response should have been a simple decline when asking. Nothing else, unprofessional of the manager to do otherwise.

I don’t know, I think it’s ok to say ‘unless colleague will move theirs’.

viques · 30/05/2023 13:09

So the fact that you knew about the four days you wanted back in January but “forgot “ to book them seems to have got lost in the crossfire. Your fault. Take the hit.

Gazelda · 30/05/2023 13:09

You need to clarify the policy.

If necessary, could you message your boss and ask "I understand the policy of no more than 1 person on AL at a time. Would you be able to be flexible on this occasion, for 1 day? I appreciate it's a big ask, but I'd be very grateful if you could help me find a solution that doesn't mean me cancelling my plans and losing the money. Thanks".

Then chase it up in 2 days.

If he won't play ball, you'll have to cancel.

But don't moan or feel hard done by. No one else is to blame. It's just an unfortunate mistake which I've no doubt you won't do again!

I hope you find a solution and you enjoy your trip.

1offnamechange · 30/05/2023 13:10

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 12:39

I have no idea, it's never been discussed. We do different things so not linked in any way

Is this in response to the posters asking if there are any rules about you having leave overlapping with other staff?

If so I can't believe you're not aware of this. It's one if the first things I've learned in every job I've ever had - whether there are any restrictions on leave. It sounds like a really disorganised job if nobody even knows this!

I don't understand why you can't just ask your boss - are you saying me and x can't be on leave the same time? Why is that if we do different jobs? Is there a policy that says this? Is it just x I have to bear in mind when I'm booking leave in the future or am I not allowed to be off at the same time as anyone else at all?

SlightlyJaded · 30/05/2023 13:15

Don't cancel everything

What if you'd taken the four days and your colleague was off sick? THey'd cope.

Explain your situation to your boss calmly - the amount of plans you'd have to cancel etc. Apologise for the late request and ask whether - on this occasion - he will sanction it without you having to 'battle with your colleague'.

And next time, just plan better.

RandomMess · 30/05/2023 13:17

I would speak to your Boss and just ask "So is it not possible for both of us to have x day off? Is there a specific reason for this or is it company policy?"

As part of the discussion ask for a copy/where to find the company annual leave policy.

It is worth asking, the boss doesn't seem very pleasant to not give you a straight answer when you did ask some time ago.

PatAndMat · 30/05/2023 13:22

Extremely unreasonable of your boss telling you to sort this out with your colleague. That sort of discussion can cause resentment between you which does not bod3 well for a happy working environment and he’s encouraging it.

We are not talking a two week holiday here where you are both off. This is one day and companies should be able to cope with that.

As you mentioned OP when everyone was off sick you were on your own.

I think your boss is playing a power game here and clearly is not capable of managing people.

I don’t know how much in advance you asked for the time off but if the manager can’t prove that your work can’t cope for that one day then he needs to step up. Ask your manager OP why this one day is such a problem and see if you and he can find a solution.

astarsheis · 30/05/2023 13:23

That unfortunately is the working world. I had to cancel a ski holiday because a colleague, who was about to return from maternity leave, had booked a day in the middle of the week by email. I new everybody in work had not booked any days so thought I was ok. It was of no fault of my lovely colleague and i had to suck it up.

TripleDaisySummer · 30/05/2023 13:27

So if you've spoken to the colleague and she isn't changing the date - her perfect right -then you need to go back to manager and ask if that mean you cant have authorised leave as you need to cancel if that is the case.

Once you have a firm answer - you could check company policy and HR just to confirm - do know cases where managers have been wrong about leave requirements - to make absolutely sure of where you stand.

Obviously if like MIL - in similar position with addition of manager caused delay to holiday timeframe being processed - of not really needing to keep the job and having other employers and people to approach for references and being in a hard to fill job you can risk just going. It still caused her some worry but she came back and it was never mentioned again.

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 13:27

You need to ask him straight out, OP.

"Hi boss, I booked these days off two months ago and you still haven't given me a final answer. Can you manage without both me and colleague in the office for one day? If not I will need to cancel my entire holiday and lose money, so I would really appreciate it if you could OK it on this occasion."

Nothingisblackandwhite · 30/05/2023 13:30

I hate bad management ! It’s vile that he won’t give you a reply . Bosses like this deserve nil respect . I would never do this to my team
because I respect them as individuals.
I would be tempted to get ill that full week !! That’s the sort of respect he deserves

cakewench · 30/05/2023 13:41

PatAndMat · 30/05/2023 13:22

Extremely unreasonable of your boss telling you to sort this out with your colleague. That sort of discussion can cause resentment between you which does not bod3 well for a happy working environment and he’s encouraging it.

We are not talking a two week holiday here where you are both off. This is one day and companies should be able to cope with that.

As you mentioned OP when everyone was off sick you were on your own.

I think your boss is playing a power game here and clearly is not capable of managing people.

I don’t know how much in advance you asked for the time off but if the manager can’t prove that your work can’t cope for that one day then he needs to step up. Ask your manager OP why this one day is such a problem and see if you and he can find a solution.

All of this. There are some pretty condescending replies here tbh. OP has said the crossover is one day, that their jobs aren't related and there doesn't appear to be a reason why they can't both have the same day off. And to be clear: the maddening thing is here that the boss is playing games. He hasn't even said "you both can't have the same day off", he's being vague and thinks it's amusing.

OP you need to go back to him and clarify that this is a no from him so you can cancel your plans. Otherwise the next step in his hilarity will be "oh why did you do that? You'd have been fine to take the day off, ha ha"

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