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Original poster

Boss will not authorize holiday

198 replies

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 07:55

My boss plays mind games constantly. He enjoys it.
I applied for 4 days holiday as have long weekend away with DH, hotel stay and concert. (Last year I hardly took any holiday and had to be forced to use them up, I enjoy my job)
I forgot to apply for the 4 days when I booked it in Jan and only remembered to apply for them at the end of March.
By this time my colleague had booked one day off for one day out which is in the middle of my 4 days. So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days.
Boss joked that me and my colleague will have to fight it out for that day.
But he still has not authorised my leave and it's two weeks away. The other day after asking if he was going to authorise it, he said again that we would have to "fight it out".
If this is another game, I don't want to play it.
If I ask him he will enjoy saying the same thing again. He is also putting me and my colleague, who I really like, in a horrible situation for one days holiday.
Do I cancel and lose the ticket money £140, hotel can be cancelled. Or, just wait? Just in case it's another mind game.
I do respect the rules and fully understand a boss has to stick to them but one day?
Would you cancel or wait and see?

OP posts:
Iyiyiiii · 30/05/2023 20:00

Vickythevan63 · 30/05/2023 16:59

He's not authorising your holiday because you can't both be off, he's giving you a chance to talk to your colleague before rejecting yours

Where has Op said that this is the case? Their roles don’t even overlap?

She needs to clarify the rules, given that she and her colleague cannot cover each others roles!

Maybe boss has person who can cover both roles, but can only cover one at a time?

JenWillsiam · 31/05/2023 18:12

If it’s like my place of work you’re stuffed. First come first served. What are you expecting him to do here?

Ohgollymolly · 31/05/2023 19:11

I guess he’s telling you to negotiate between yourselves as he doesn’t want to say no to you.

But technically she got there first, so I imagine you will create a situation if you ask her to cancel hers.

Why did you book something without first securing the time off?! I guess it’s your own tough luck.

Where I work, we’re discouraged from using 1 day holiday which might prevent people taking a full week.

TallerThanAverage · 31/05/2023 19:30

I wouldn’t tell him what your plans are or how much it’s costing. You give the impression that he would get an even bigger kick out of making you wait. I would just email him copying in HR or his boss stating that as you requested the leave x days ago and you haven’t had a response you are seeking confirmation that the leave is granted else you require a period of unpaid leave for the dates required as the delay has left you unable to make alternative arrangements and the time off is essential.

MargotBamborough · 31/05/2023 19:33

Ohgollymolly · 31/05/2023 19:11

I guess he’s telling you to negotiate between yourselves as he doesn’t want to say no to you.

But technically she got there first, so I imagine you will create a situation if you ask her to cancel hers.

Why did you book something without first securing the time off?! I guess it’s your own tough luck.

Where I work, we’re discouraged from using 1 day holiday which might prevent people taking a full week.

This is bad management. He needs to make a decision and communicate it clearly.

OCarumba · 31/05/2023 19:39

TallerThanAverage · 31/05/2023 19:30

I wouldn’t tell him what your plans are or how much it’s costing. You give the impression that he would get an even bigger kick out of making you wait. I would just email him copying in HR or his boss stating that as you requested the leave x days ago and you haven’t had a response you are seeking confirmation that the leave is granted else you require a period of unpaid leave for the dates required as the delay has left you unable to make alternative arrangements and the time off is essential.

Ooh that sounds good… I’m self employed so no idea if that is what flies or not, but sounds like a very good no nonsense ‘like fuck am I cancelling my holiday’

Thatladdo · 31/05/2023 20:17

Usualy where cover is required its first come first served.
She was first - your mistake.
Fight it out means asking your college to cancel her plans and days leave for you.

Shouldhavelookedatreviews · 31/05/2023 20:21

Yeah worked for one these. Remembers gloriously arguing about a single day hols in Dec 22 and ended up having to use swap a Rota’d day off for that month because it was so difficult. Although they had temps conveniently finish on 22nd of December… of course.

left May 2023 the unused holiday payout from early 2023 was huge on its own. Nowhere for company to hide but to pay out…

HunterHearstHelmsley · 31/05/2023 20:21

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 12:55

@BananaSpanner you are bang on, I am not the strong one. I understand I have done wrong and will cancel everything. I was just hoping my boss would be lenient as we have had all off sick and I was here on my own, but that seems to be OK. Everyone on here seems very angry, is this what the working world has become, full of angry people?@BananaSpanner you seem to be one of the very few that sees people as people, even when on a social platform. Thank you

Did you actually ask him to be lenient and explain your thinking to him?

At the end of the day, your colleague asked for the day off first. She wants to spend it with her adult child, you want to spend it with your adult husband.

It would make sense to have a conversation about it.

Noangelbuthavingfun · 31/05/2023 20:25

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 07:55

My boss plays mind games constantly. He enjoys it.
I applied for 4 days holiday as have long weekend away with DH, hotel stay and concert. (Last year I hardly took any holiday and had to be forced to use them up, I enjoy my job)
I forgot to apply for the 4 days when I booked it in Jan and only remembered to apply for them at the end of March.
By this time my colleague had booked one day off for one day out which is in the middle of my 4 days. So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days.
Boss joked that me and my colleague will have to fight it out for that day.
But he still has not authorised my leave and it's two weeks away. The other day after asking if he was going to authorise it, he said again that we would have to "fight it out".
If this is another game, I don't want to play it.
If I ask him he will enjoy saying the same thing again. He is also putting me and my colleague, who I really like, in a horrible situation for one days holiday.
Do I cancel and lose the ticket money £140, hotel can be cancelled. Or, just wait? Just in case it's another mind game.
I do respect the rules and fully understand a boss has to stick to them but one day?
Would you cancel or wait and see?

Take your 3 days either side of your colleagues 1 day. And call in sick that day. Honestly life is too short for shit bosses and workplaces ! Or negotiate with your colleage to change her day ....

Macinae · 31/05/2023 22:40

One off at a time is the way my team operate. If someone requests a day already booked, I decline it and advise so and so is already off. It's odd that he's not just being direct and doing it that way, but I wouldn't class it as a mind game, he's been perfectly clear that only one of you will be off.

OttoGraph · 01/06/2023 05:41

Macinae · 31/05/2023 22:40

One off at a time is the way my team operate. If someone requests a day already booked, I decline it and advise so and so is already off. It's odd that he's not just being direct and doing it that way, but I wouldn't class it as a mind game, he's been perfectly clear that only one of you will be off.

That’s ok until you have one staff member book several Wednesdays for 8 week through June and July

means no one can book a weeks holiday in those months, which is what happened somewhere I worked

opinionssoughtplease · 01/06/2023 09:56

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/05/2023 08:00

He's not authorising your holiday because you can't both be off, he's giving you a chance to talk to your colleague before rejecting yours

This! I can’t see any evidence of mind games in this situation, even if there are in others OP

Peonyfun · 01/06/2023 10:10

I am surprised at some of these responses. I don’t see this as your managers fault at all. You cannot have the same time off. You knew this. You forgot to apply. Your colleague already has the time off and he’s telling uou to agree between yourselves. You know like grown ups.

GiveupHQ · 01/06/2023 10:18

Peonyfun · 01/06/2023 10:10

I am surprised at some of these responses. I don’t see this as your managers fault at all. You cannot have the same time off. You knew this. You forgot to apply. Your colleague already has the time off and he’s telling uou to agree between yourselves. You know like grown ups.

This

but given the responses I wonder how some posters are employed.

although might explain all the threads about OPs worries about being dismissed or struggling to find work

Greentree1 · 01/06/2023 10:32

Is your job something you can cover remotely? If so could you offer to check and reply to urgent emails and pick up important calls that day? The one day would be compromised holiday wise but the rest wouldn't be effected.

OneMoreCookieMonster · 01/06/2023 10:35

He's been clear. You've been verbally denied the holiday. As someone else is already on leave. Which is why it's not been authorised. He's requested that you speak to your colleague and see if they will accommodate you.

My team know my holiday rules and I won't even entertain looking at a holiday request if someone is already off. (Holiday is available for the whole team to see) there's no exceptions (bar certain circumstances but those are extremely rare)

You should have not booked time away before having the dates authorised. That's the risk you took. You either go sick (I would then proceed with a disciplinary for unauthorised absence) take it on the chin and cancel your plans or see if your colleague will swap or if you can potentially arrange cover through another colleague, if the business allows that.

I can't believe that this is even a question you have to ask. This is part of the wider issue currently with staff entitlement. It's ludicrous.

Original poster
Alwaysintheway · 01/06/2023 18:42

Thank you all for some really good advice and believe me I will never book anything again without getting days authorised first. There was a deal on and I took it before missing out but then stupidly forgot to book it straight away with work. I suppose I thought it was such a long time away I didn't feel an urgency, anyway it was my bad and lessons learnt.
Today I got the courage up to broach the subject with boss and they said that I could take the holiday and that they just forgot to authorise it as it was on the bottom of their todo pile.
So who knows!
Anyway it's all good and no need to worry anymore.
So I have to first pick some days get ok with work and then try and find a getaway deal.
Tell me, how many of you do it the other way and find a great deal, while trawling the net in the evening or weekends, grab it and then tell work?
Like someone said if I booked one day every week for 21 weeks would that mean no one else could book their only annual week away with family.
I think rules are rules but sometimes, as we are human and not robots, discretion has to be used and each case considered in its own right.
But that's just me. I will always always make sure to grab days off work at the beginning of the year spread over the year and then try and find stayaways for those dates. Fuck everyone else, I booked those days first so their not changeable. Rules is rules!
But that's not me 😁

OP posts:
MargotBamborough · 01/06/2023 19:27

Glad you've got it sorted OP! Enjoy your holiday.

Original poster
Alwaysintheway · 02/06/2023 11:24

@MargotBamborough I certainly will, thank you x

OP posts:
Macinae · 03/06/2023 10:44

OttoGraph · 01/06/2023 05:41

That’s ok until you have one staff member book several Wednesdays for 8 week through June and July

means no one can book a weeks holiday in those months, which is what happened somewhere I worked

Show quote history

Yeah that's a separate issue and I'd manage that.

AndHdz181067 · 02/02/2024 17:44

Hello. From UK. My son lives in Australia. I live in UK. Its always tough when your kids move on, but necessary. Anyways my son moved overseas close to 20 years ago. I didn't get to see him for 8 years... he came to UK for holiday. Since then he's been back twice and I've been there twice.

It's a long way to go, so I've gone for 4 weeks each time. Never had a problem with work etc. Other jobs have been very understanding. I work 2 jobs, my pt job are ok about having time off July. But my ft job, are not.

In 2023 I got a this ft job. I mentioned at interview I'd likely be having 3 weeks (atleast) off in 2024 to go see my son. Was told it'd be ok, to discuss nearer time. Anyway that manager left and a new manager came along. I asked the new manager atleast 3 times about time off. And was told, yes it'd be fine. So on strength of their say so I went ahead and booked 3 weeks to meet up with my son.

That manager left.. and a new (yes, 3rd manager) came along. They saw I'd put in for 3 weeks and they've said they cannot authorise it. I told them about previous manager saying it was ok. I said I'd quit. They said they'd ask head office. They still came back to me and said no.

Nothing was put in writing, this was all verbal.
So this is where I am... I could fight it. But truthfully I can't be bothered. However if I had something solid in way of I'm legally in my rights and they should honour it...I would fight it... My intention is to find a new job. The company is terrible and the staff moral is shocking. There is more than one way to skin a cat right? Any advice... what my move could be going forward?

Cheers

prh47bridge · 02/02/2024 23:18

You should really have started a new thread. You may now get people coming on this thread and answering the OP, not realising it is an old thread.

I'm afraid you cannot force your employer to give you three weeks off in a single block. You have a legal right to take your holiday, but your employer has the right to determine how much you can take at a time.

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