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Original poster

Boss will not authorize holiday

198 replies

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 07:55

My boss plays mind games constantly. He enjoys it.
I applied for 4 days holiday as have long weekend away with DH, hotel stay and concert. (Last year I hardly took any holiday and had to be forced to use them up, I enjoy my job)
I forgot to apply for the 4 days when I booked it in Jan and only remembered to apply for them at the end of March.
By this time my colleague had booked one day off for one day out which is in the middle of my 4 days. So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days.
Boss joked that me and my colleague will have to fight it out for that day.
But he still has not authorised my leave and it's two weeks away. The other day after asking if he was going to authorise it, he said again that we would have to "fight it out".
If this is another game, I don't want to play it.
If I ask him he will enjoy saying the same thing again. He is also putting me and my colleague, who I really like, in a horrible situation for one days holiday.
Do I cancel and lose the ticket money £140, hotel can be cancelled. Or, just wait? Just in case it's another mind game.
I do respect the rules and fully understand a boss has to stick to them but one day?
Would you cancel or wait and see?

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 30/05/2023 15:04

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/05/2023 08:00

He's not authorising your holiday because you can't both be off, he's giving you a chance to talk to your colleague before rejecting yours

This.

He's not playing games at all.

He's giving you the opportunity to sort it out rather than just being a bad guy and saying no.

Ultimately it's your own fault for not booking the time off when you should have. You can't blame him when it turns out this is no longer possible to do unless you do a deal with a colleague.

He's ultimately saying this is your mess to sort out and he's not getting involved.

AyeRobot · 30/05/2023 15:09

Why not offer her £50 to change her day?

GoodChat · 30/05/2023 15:11

ClawedButler · 30/05/2023 15:00

YABU

Just ask him. Like a grown-up.

You don't have more more right to this time off than your colleague does.

She has asked him. Like a grown up. And he replied. Like a child.

Coralsunset · 30/05/2023 15:32

Your manager could have been clearer, but it’s fairly obvious he meant you couldn’t be off same time as colleague who got in first, and you would have to negotiate with her.

It’s not his fault you made an error and didn’t book the leave before booking your holiday. I’m not sure why you’re trying to blame him for your cock up.

I would now go very apologetically to manager and offer a solution to how work would be covered if he allows you both off that one day (if that’s even possible). If it’s not possible/he refuses then you chalk it up to experience and don’t make the same mistake again.

We all fuck up OP, but you have to own it.

iklboo · 30/05/2023 15:51

It's not his fault you forgot to book it. If you definitely can't be off at the same time then your colleague booked first. He's a piss poor manager telling you to 'fight it out' though

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 16:01

This boss knows the policy
This boss knows the OP knows the policy

so he’s assuming that she’s not seriously asking (opens floodgates for other scenarios just like this that just then be approved)

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 16:02

If you want the time off, talk to your colleague
otherwise, cancel your plans and let it go

or if you’re not bothered about the job, just do it 🤷‍♀️

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 16:04

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 12:55

@BananaSpanner you are bang on, I am not the strong one. I understand I have done wrong and will cancel everything. I was just hoping my boss would be lenient as we have had all off sick and I was here on my own, but that seems to be OK. Everyone on here seems very angry, is this what the working world has become, full of angry people?@BananaSpanner you seem to be one of the very few that sees people as people, even when on a social platform. Thank you

* Everyone on here seems very angry, is this what the working world has become, full of angry people?*

Oh don’t be such a drama Queen 😂

Theunamedcat · 30/05/2023 16:07

Maybe email him to clarify?

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 16:08

I was just hoping my boss would be lenient as we have had all off sick and I was here on my own, but that seems to be OK.

head. All. Bang.

it’s not that it “seems to be ok”

it’s that there’s nothing in the contract that says “no sick leave may be taken whilst another member of the team is off sick” 🙄

Feraldogmum · 30/05/2023 16:16

If you throw a sickie,be prepared to get checked up on and dismissed. My husband found one of his “ sick” employees working on a market stall and he was sacked on the spot.

Lambstails · 30/05/2023 16:26

Why are you faffing about with your boss over this! You are critical of his "sort it out between yourselves" vague answer, but if you haven't yet rapped on his door, sat down and firmly asked him for a simple yes or no, then you are being just as 'airy fairy as him. He's the manager here, and a pretty poor one too if he thinks his response so far is going to resolve anything.

You've every right to a straightforward answer, regardless of what it may or may not be. If he won't grant you one, I would be tempted to go up a level and tell that person why you've felt it necessary to do so. It sounds like you don't have the same job as your colleague, so ask him why it's not feasible for you both to be off at the same time. Grovel, plead and beg if you have to - tell him you are horrified that you forgot to book your leave and see if you can appeal to his better nature.

Prior to doing this, can you come up with a potential workaround in the event the answer is no? On the day in question when your colleague is also off, would it be possible to work remotely for all or part of the day? As you have a hotel booked, it shouldn't be too difficult to find a spot to work for an hour or two.

If remote working isn't applicable to your job, and your boss does say no then unfortunately I don't think there's much you can do. I once got my dates wrong when booking leave for a holiday abroad. I ended up in the same situation where I couldn't be off at the same time as someone else, and I ended up missing the first 2 days of my holiday and having to book another flight to join my husband!

Hope you get it sorted one way or the other, OP.

Tromso · 30/05/2023 16:34

Why are we all assuming that OP has reported this exactly as it happened?

It seems unlikely that a boss would have just said to fight it out between yourselves.

And why are so many people also just suggesting OP does whatever she wants and just doesn't turn up to work?

This thread in itself feels like some kind of weird mind game.

It's very simple, if it wasn't booked then it isn't holiday. If it's been requested but not approved, then it isn't holiday. Don't make plans until you know you have the time off, surely?

Vickythevan63 · 30/05/2023 16:36

I am not sure why people are getting angry with you, many jobs allow multiple colleagues off at once, especially when there is no crossover in their roles, why wouldn’t they?

Before I retired, I could book leave whenever I liked, as can my DH and adult DS.

I would suggest sending him an email, stating that he had not yet approved your holiday leave and that him telling you to ‘sort it out’ with a colleague doing a different role, wasn’t an answer.

Copy in HR, explain the situation to them, and ask for them to confirm the company policy for taking leave alongside a colleague who does a completely different role, but managed by same manager.

Your manager might not like that, but he is being totally unprofessional and it might give him a wake up call from his stupid games if you copy HR in.

Irritateandunreasonable · 30/05/2023 16:40

SoupDragon · 30/05/2023 12:51

my point being she knows she can't have time off. It's very clear that is what he was saying and she couldn't be arsed to sort it out.

Show quote history

Yeah. You still really do not have a valid point in the eyes of the law, just your opinion, which is irrelevant.

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 16:42

@Vickythevan63

I am not sure why people are getting angry with you, many jobs allow multiple colleagues off at once, especially when there is no crossover in their roles, why wouldn’t they?

many - yes
but not the OP’s

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 16:44

Copy in HR, explain the situation to them, and ask for them to confirm the company policy for taking leave alongside a colleague who does a completely different role, but managed by same manager

ignore!!!

adularia · 30/05/2023 16:45

SwedishDeathClearance · 30/05/2023 10:34

Not usually possible in many places
Flights open up 11.5 months in advance and holiday year doesn't

Show quote history

Places I’ve worked for have required you to get approval for the time off before booking holidays. Even if it can’t be booked on the IT system yet you are expected to get it approved by your manager who puts it in the diary. Otherwise you could end up with a nightmare if people book holidays for the same time and only tell the manager on the first day that it can be booked on the system!

Vickythevan63 · 30/05/2023 16:59

He's not authorising your holiday because you can't both be off, he's giving you a chance to talk to your colleague before rejecting yours

Where has Op said that this is the case? Their roles don’t even overlap?

She needs to clarify the rules, given that she and her colleague cannot cover each others roles!

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 17:01

Vickythevan63 · 30/05/2023 16:59

He's not authorising your holiday because you can't both be off, he's giving you a chance to talk to your colleague before rejecting yours

Where has Op said that this is the case? Their roles don’t even overlap?

She needs to clarify the rules, given that she and her colleague cannot cover each others roles!

The op refers to “respecting the rules”

so presumably it is company policy

GiveupHQ · 30/05/2023 17:02

Vickythevan63 · 30/05/2023 16:59

He's not authorising your holiday because you can't both be off, he's giving you a chance to talk to your colleague before rejecting yours

Where has Op said that this is the case? Their roles don’t even overlap?

She needs to clarify the rules, given that she and her colleague cannot cover each others roles!

I do respect the rules and fully understand a boss has to stick to them

pretty clear to me

Vickythevan63 · 30/05/2023 17:07

@GiveupHQ

But she hasn’t said what the rules are?

If there is a rule saying any 2 people in the organisation, with different roles, can’t be off at same time, then many others won’t be able to take leave when they want?

If it’s 2 people working for same manager, then that’s different, but she should be arguing that her taking leave won’t affect whether her colleague’s tasks get done (since they don’t cover each others roles!)

Vickythevan63 · 30/05/2023 17:12

@Alwaysintheway

What exactly do your company rules say regarding leave?

Why can’t two people with different roles take holiday together? Is it minimum staffing required?

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/05/2023 17:59

Vickythevan63 · 30/05/2023 17:12

@Alwaysintheway

What exactly do your company rules say regarding leave?

Why can’t two people with different roles take holiday together? Is it minimum staffing required?

It wouldn't surprise me if this is a very very small company, they all do different tasks but can all do the basics for each other including manning the phones. The fact the op says everyone but her was off sick makes me wonder if there's only 3 or 4 employees.

LimeCheesecake · 30/05/2023 19:18

@Alwaysintheway - before you cancel everything - last chance, go to your manager and say “I don’t think it’s fair for me to ask x to give up her day off if you’ve already authorised it. Is it possible for us to both be off on Y day or not? If I’m going to cancel my plans, I need to do it this week to get my money back. Can you give me a firm answer please?” If you can put this in writing via an email, even better.

if your boss is playing games, don’t join in. If they are enjoying not confirming and making you squirm when they do intend to give you the time off, just be clear and professional. If it’s a no, you at least will know.

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