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Original poster

Boss will not authorize holiday

198 replies

Alwaysintheway · 30/05/2023 07:55

My boss plays mind games constantly. He enjoys it.
I applied for 4 days holiday as have long weekend away with DH, hotel stay and concert. (Last year I hardly took any holiday and had to be forced to use them up, I enjoy my job)
I forgot to apply for the 4 days when I booked it in Jan and only remembered to apply for them at the end of March.
By this time my colleague had booked one day off for one day out which is in the middle of my 4 days. So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days.
Boss joked that me and my colleague will have to fight it out for that day.
But he still has not authorised my leave and it's two weeks away. The other day after asking if he was going to authorise it, he said again that we would have to "fight it out".
If this is another game, I don't want to play it.
If I ask him he will enjoy saying the same thing again. He is also putting me and my colleague, who I really like, in a horrible situation for one days holiday.
Do I cancel and lose the ticket money £140, hotel can be cancelled. Or, just wait? Just in case it's another mind game.
I do respect the rules and fully understand a boss has to stick to them but one day?
Would you cancel or wait and see?

OP posts:
Cosycover · 30/05/2023 08:33

Are you not allowed to be the same day?

BerryGrumble · 30/05/2023 08:35

I don’t understand employers who won’t let two people be off at the same time. What if you were both unwell? They’d have to cope then surely.

Overthebow · 30/05/2023 08:36

Have you asked your colleague? It’s on you were ally for not booking it when you booked your holiday, and also for not talking to your colleague about it when asked.

Hellocatshome · 30/05/2023 08:38

BerryGrumble · 30/05/2023 08:35

I don’t understand employers who won’t let two people be off at the same time. What if you were both unwell? They’d have to cope then surely.

Yes but that would be out of their control and something they would have to deal with if it ever occurred. Doesnt mean they should voluntarily put themselves in that position.

JDHC · 30/05/2023 08:38

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/05/2023 08:00

He's not authorising your holiday because you can't both be off, he's giving you a chance to talk to your colleague before rejecting yours

I agree

Makemyday99 · 30/05/2023 08:38

BerryGrumble · 30/05/2023 08:35

I don’t understand employers who won’t let two people be off at the same time. What if you were both unwell? They’d have to cope then surely.

Sickness is part of the reason, I have 15 employees & if 2 go off on leave at the same time then I have a sickness it really impacts the business especially if it’s longer than a day.

Irritateandunreasonable · 30/05/2023 08:41

Creamyoda · 30/05/2023 08:29

Yes if the OP wants to be willfully pathetic then she could, it won't end well but sure.

Show quote history

Stop trolling. It’s not willingly pathetic, it’s the law. You’re being silly.

Creamyoda · 30/05/2023 08:44

Irritateandunreasonable · 30/05/2023 08:41

Stop trolling. It’s not willingly pathetic, it’s the law. You’re being silly.

Show quote history

It's not trolling. OP knows full well someone else has booked and the day and this is why he hasn't authorised it. His suggestion is that OP can try and work something out with her colleague, not that it might be fine and he may or may not authorise it. If OP decides to play silly games then she might not like the prize, or they can try and figure something out with the colleague or come up with another plan.

AnOKYearForTheRoses · 30/05/2023 08:44

This is all on you, OP.

If you had done the correct thing and had leave approved before making plans, you wouldn’t be in this situation.

I feel for your colleague.

Prettypaisleyslippers · 30/05/2023 08:45

If it’s a day that you can’t both have off then consider shortening your request? Does it impact too badly? I.e can you do gig still?

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 30/05/2023 08:45

So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days.

Not in theory, she actually did.

Your boss does sound annoying for not giving a straight answer. Surely he can say either "as you know, two people can't be off at the same time, so as colleague applied first, you cannot have that day" or " yes that's fine"

"You'll have to fight it out" sounds like a jokey thing to say, so it's not clear exactly what he means. If your holiday policy doesn't prohibit two people being off at the same time, he should say what his position is (which might still be that two people can't have that specific day off, for whatever reason).

Irritateandunreasonable · 30/05/2023 08:46

Creamyoda · 30/05/2023 08:44

It's not trolling. OP knows full well someone else has booked and the day and this is why he hasn't authorised it. His suggestion is that OP can try and work something out with her colleague, not that it might be fine and he may or may not authorise it. If OP decides to play silly games then she might not like the prize, or they can try and figure something out with the colleague or come up with another plan.

Show quote history

Or she could just follow the law..?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 30/05/2023 08:46

. He is also putting me and my colleague, who I really like, in a horrible situation for one days holiday.

He's not, you put yourself there. You should have requested the holiday and booked once approved. If you both can't be off, then he's right to say you need to ask your colleague. You aren't entitled to special treatment simply because you didn't take much holiday last year or your holiday is for longer. This is all on you.

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 30/05/2023 08:48

If you can’t both have the time off then your colleague booked it first. Not sure why it’s unclear or considered mind games?

starfishmummy · 30/05/2023 08:59

Basically he's saying that no, you can't have the leave unless your colleague gives up theirs. And he's leaving it to you to ask if they will, which is fair enough as its not his place to negotiate.

user1492757084 · 30/05/2023 09:08

Speak with your co-worker.
Is she attending a wedding or special occasion, a medical appointment?
She might be able to swap her day.
Otherwise, what happens when two people are away due to illness?
Probably you will be allowed the days off.
Persist to know the answer within a reasonable time.

CoronationKicking · 30/05/2023 09:08

"So in theory she applied for her one day, the day before I applied for my 4 days."

No "in theory" about it. She booked before you so unless she is agreeable to cancelling it then it sounds like he wont be able to approve it.

He's telling you to go and negotiate with your colleague. He's not "putting you and a colleague in a horrible situation" or "playing mind games" if he's simply following policy.

prh47bridge · 30/05/2023 09:16

I'm not sure why you say she "in theory" applied the day before you did. She did apply the day before. The fact you had known that you needed to book this time off for over 2 months and hadn't done anything about it is irrelevant.

This isn't your boss playing mind games. Waiting and seeing will get you nowhere. His comment that you need to "fight it out" isn't the best way to deal with it, but it sounds like you can't both be off at the same time, so you need to negotiate with your colleague to see if she is willing to move her day off. If you don't, you won't get your holiday because your colleague booked the day off first. It is not your bosses job to negotiate with your colleague on your behalf.

SoupDragon · 30/05/2023 09:17

Irritateandunreasonable · 30/05/2023 08:46

Or she could just follow the law..?

Show quote history

He told her to sort it out with her colleague and she's just ignored that. For 2 months.

Iyiyiiii · 30/05/2023 09:19

Lougle · 30/05/2023 07:57

I think he is telling you to negotiate with your colleague because both won't be authorised. He is in his right to do this. You have a right to leave but he has the right to dictate when that leave takes place.

I don't see why you think 'in theory she booked it before me'. She did book it before you. That you knew you needed to book it before she booked it isn't the issue.

theory and reality!

Annual leave can also be cancelled by your boss, just so you know
Are you able to negotiate with colleague?

philautia · 30/05/2023 09:21

Regardless of whether or not your boss is a dick, you should have asked for the time off before you booked your long weekend.

Also, humble bragging about being forced to take annual leave last year because you love your job so much is completely irrelevant to this situation and does not give you first pick of the annual leave days this year.

Swannyb · 30/05/2023 09:25

Your boss is being a dick. I am a 'boss' and I would never tell my staff to 'fight it out'. I would be up front immediately as to whether it is a yes or no. I always make sure staff know as soon as possible whether their leave is granted or not (usually on the same day they ask for it).

My old company used to have a policy only one staff member was allowed leave at the same time. It was silly. We could've easily hold down the fort for others for a few days.

RoseRobot · 30/05/2023 09:30

OP, you are not being straight with yourself here. You forgot to book the time off. By the time you remembered - two months later, someone else had booked the time off. Your boss has asked you to sort this out with her. You haven;t. You are recasting this as a controlling boss who enjoys making you squirm. Take responsibility!

First talk to your colleague. If she desperately must have that particular day and no other, then ask other colleagues/part time staff/agency staff etc if they can cover you for that one day. Then go to your boss with the plan of action, apologise for your oversight in not booking the time off earlier and offer the solution you have come up with.

cansu · 30/05/2023 09:40

Just ask him directly. We will both be away for one of the days. Can you please authorise my leave on this basis? At least you will know where you stand.

Irritateandunreasonable · 30/05/2023 10:17

SoupDragon · 30/05/2023 09:17

He told her to sort it out with her colleague and she's just ignored that. For 2 months.

Show quote history

Your point being? He still has the law to follow.

He’s also had two months to ensure this one day has accurate coverage.