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Original poster

DP landed a promotion now i have to change my job

237 replies

Happyfuture · 15/06/2021 22:15

My DP has recently been offered a huge promotion, which means he will be working in another county so his commute will be much longer.
During lockdown I had to move stores or face redundancy, the area I work in has no public transport around the hours I need to travel (rural area buses run between 1 to 2 hours apart).
I dont drive due to a disability so DP usually drops me off and picks me up before and after he has to work.
This won't be feasible now due to the change. I love my job and colleague's and I make decent money and work full time. I dont want him to turn the promotion down as it will make his career and earn him a fair whack more than atm, but I cant help feeling a little disappointed and annoyed that I have to give up a great job and wonderful people who I really enjoy working with. In the town I live, full time jobs are really hard to come by, so whatever extra he will earn if I change jobs and end up with a part time position the extra money will land us in the same financial bracket as we were before. Am I wrong for feeling like my career is worth less than his and that I should sacrifice a wonderful workplace so his career can flourish??

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 15/06/2021 22:18

How much would a taxi be and could you afford it if he’s getting a big rise?

Changing jobs because of trouble getting there seems such a shame.

Ignore me if it’s a stupid suggestion. We live somewhere that doesn’t even get taxis.

Bluntness100 · 15/06/2021 22:18

Can you taxi it op? Cycle? I don’t think it’s fair he should not get his job becayse he needs to drive you to yours. It’s not about whose job is worth more.

sometimescharlottesometimesnot · 15/06/2021 22:18

Is there any other way to get to work...car share, electric bike, taxi?

Howshouldibehave · 15/06/2021 22:20

How far is your commute?

highlighteryellow · 15/06/2021 22:20

Oh no that's such a shame OP. As others have said, is there absolutely no other way you could get there? You could post on your local FB group and see if anyone else heads in that direction for work??

Bluntness100 · 15/06/2021 22:20

Or even taxi to a train station? Paying someone who you work with to drive and drop off?

Megan2018 · 15/06/2021 22:22

Did he discuss this with you first? Or is there an assumption you will just comply?
I’d be livid if someone did that to me without consulting me first.
I’d sooner move house if it was me!

NailsNeedDoing · 15/06/2021 22:23

It’s shit for you, but a disability that prevents you driving is the real problem, not your husbands job.

StartupRepair · 15/06/2021 22:23

It's a big constraint on him that any job has to accommodate driving you to and from work everyday. However it is disappointing that he is not considering the impact on you. Try to think as imaginatively as possible about a solution. Could you move nearer to your work?

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 15/06/2021 22:24

Can you move house so that you're closer to work? I should imagine the rural lifestyle means you can't get out and about socially without having to rely on your partner. If you lived closer to work, you could get a taxi or maybe use a mobility scooter

2020isnotbehaving · 15/06/2021 22:24

Did he go for promotion knowing that you would have to give up your job? If it’s lose your income entirely or pay for a driver too and from work I’d take the pay the driver or taxi option. Or you as a family unit are better off if he doesn’t.

Lougle · 15/06/2021 22:24

Have you tried the Access to Work Scheme

PinkCast · 15/06/2021 22:25

If he has been offered the job but is still in the negotiation phase, could your DH negotiate on his start time / hours so that he can drop you into work?

Rushhomeroad · 15/06/2021 22:26

Have you checked if you are eligible for Access to Work? A relative of mine gets taxis paid for as he can't drive due to an epileptic seizure. Worth a look.

www.gov.uk/access-to-work

Plinkplonk1234 · 15/06/2021 22:26

Is uber available where you live? Perhaps you could advertise locally to see if anyone would join to become a driver? Or are there any liftshare platforms in your area?

MichelleScarn · 15/06/2021 22:26

What would you have done op if he was unable to drive? Could you car share with a colleague?

Rushhomeroad · 15/06/2021 22:27

@Lougle

Have you tried the Access to Work Scheme
Beat me to it!
NotMyDayJob · 15/06/2021 22:27

If you have a disability you really should look into the access to work scheme as suggested by pp. I have a colleague who gets her taxis to and from work paid for (although it can contribute to all sorts of things and is on a case by case basis, that's just an example)

Howshouldibehave · 15/06/2021 22:28

Him finding a job that allows him to take and collect you from this one job forevermore is quite a restriction on him.

Why are there no full time jobs where you live? That’s unusual-are you v remote? I think him going for this job and then looking at moving house is a better idea

Iggi999 · 15/06/2021 22:29

I was about to post about access to work, but others have beaten me too it

Original poster
Happyfuture · 15/06/2021 22:30

It works out at 150 a week for taxis. No staff members live nearby so Carshare isn't an option. And no train station to the area I work. I know I sound so selfish but we've been together 20 years and my career always had to take a backseat to his or the kids needs. We have three almost adult children and I spent 10 years working part time positions to keep childcare costs low. The last 9 years I've worked full time and juggled it all, and finally felt I was getting somewhere career wise, finally started earning almost as much as him and that even tho I rely on him to take and bring me back (only at this job as its so rural) I finally felt like I was on his wavelength where work was concerned. I'm obviously being a little selfish where my feelings are concerned

OP posts:
LawnFever · 15/06/2021 22:30

Can you move somewhere closer to your work or with better transport links so you can use public transport to get to work still?

PearPickingPorky · 15/06/2021 22:30

Can you move house?

NailsNeedDoing · 15/06/2021 22:30

It might be worth asking your employer if they can adjust your working hours to fit around the bus times as part of the reasonable adjustment they have to make to accommodate your disability.

MrsFin · 15/06/2021 22:32

There are car share websites. You don't have to necessarily share with a colleague, just anyone going your way.
A taxi would be cheaper if you book one for everyday, in advance - negotiate with a couple of taxi companies.
Or could you manage a moped?

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