What should trans people actually do?

[BTT]

I'm making the assumption that gender identity exists and that there can be a mismatch between it and sex which will likely cause distress and a desire for trans people to find a safer and more comfortable place in society somehow.

I'm talking about practical measures to minimize problems for trans and non-trans people. Please respond only if you have some reasonable ideas.

Surely using a space where you don’t look like you belong is the exact opposite of living quietly? 🤔

Unisex spaces are also available.

"the last thing they want is to be perceived as a man and do not find women sexually attractive"

There are actually plenty of transwomen who are heterosexual males - Beth Upton and Rose Henderson, the transwomen doctor and medic who were using the women's changing rooms, where female staff undressed, in the Sandie Peggie and Darlington nurses cases are biological heterosexual males who claim to be women.

It's quite telling that you think that transwomen are attracted to men. In other words, you think that transwomen are really gay men (male homosexuals). Do you think that gay men aren't "real" men, then? That there's something womanly about them or that they are defective men who are more like women?

Would you also be comfortable with gay men who don't identify as trans using the women's toilets, given that they are not attracted to women?

It doesn't seem inclusive to force trans people to constantly assess whether other services users believe they 'pass'.

Adequate unisex provision seems fairer for everyone.

Careful dear, your hyperbole is showing.
“Because being trans is normal. It's a small part of their lives.”

If this is so, why do people claiming a trans identity declare that they’re the most marginalised? Why do they need to take irreversible medication? When do they need to have cosmetic surgery? Neither of those things will make them the opposite sex.

I think trans people should find ways to live with their gender dysphoria, in the same way that many people find ways to live with lifelong mental health conditions like eating disorders, alcoholism, OCD, anxiety etc. Many MH illnesses cannot be fully ‘cured’, but sufferers can lead happy and successful lives if they develop strategies to manage. Therapy is very often part of this.

People with trans identities can wear whatever they like- they can ‘broaden the bandwidth’ of what it means to be a man/woman. They can change their name. They can ask others to use opposite sex pronouns but they can’t insist on this or see it as bigotry when people refuse. What they can’t do is use spaces which are reserved for the opposite sex.

I also don’t think that they should take cross sex hormones for their whole lives, or have extreme cosmetic surgeries. But they can choose what to do with their bodies. They should pay for it themselves.

They don't "pass" because sex is immutable. That isn't other people's problem to solve.

They should live their lives without affecting womens freedoms.

Like they did for centuries before this toxic movement started.

They lived their fetishes out at home. They dressed like women but used mens facilities. They understood they would always be men but as a society we were generally understanding and kind and allowed them to dress and present as they wished.

We gave an inch they now expect a mile.

Wear dresses. Wear make up. Change your name and pronouns.

Don't expect people to always use the pronouns you want them to. Don't expect to use women's spaces. Don't expect to compete against women when it is unfair physically or it takes a space designed for women. Don't expect lesbians to have a sexual interest in you. Don't appropriate words like female and lesbian.

Its very simple. Be respectful and know your boundaries as males.

Unisex means mixed sex so you're advocating for mixed sex spaces. Got it.

So much what @fanOfBen says. Campaign with the same fervour for the freedom for men to wear dresses and lipstick, work as school dinner men, shave their legs, any of the things that society says only women do. Fight the male violence that makes them feel unsafe to wear a dress in the men's toilets. And at the same time campaign for the freedom for women to wear ugly, comfortable shoes, have hairy legs, work as plumbers. Recognise that gender stereotypes damage everyone and saying that womanhood is a feeling just pushes everyone who was born a woman further into a stereotype they have to either fight or live up to, and the same goes for men actually. So campaign for that, and you will find the feminists are right there fighting with you.

Alexis Blake, a gay man who has decided he’s a female, uses female toilets, thinks males like him should be allowed to compete in female teams and utilises gender stereotypes to make him appear to be the most beautiful woman that he can be.

In addition to female single-sex spaces and male single-sex spaces. NOT instead of single-sex spaces.

Was it the advice or the analogies that you couldn't understand the point of?

Happy to clarify.

They don't "pass" because sex is immutable
If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you

He’s also had a few digs at JKR and thinks she’s on the wrong side of history.

I think your assumption is flawed. People who believe in 'gender identity' exist. People whose preferences/personality doesn't fit with the stereotypes expected of their sex exist. But 'gender identity' meaning a real property of human brains which can be 'mismatched' with their sex is unscientific nonsense.

'Trans' people who are unhappy with their sex need help to accept the reality that they can't change it. If they want to pretend to be the opposite sex, they need to accept that they can't force others to join in the pretense.

'Trans' males who find it sexually exciting to be pretend to be women and invade women's spaces should FOTTFSOFTFOSM.

No. Going into the spaces where you belong is living quietly. Going into the others (and often taking pics of your 'joy' or trying to talk to actual women in there) is making a point, and absolutely the opposite of living quietly.

Beyond the 245 legally male prisoners identifying as women (151 with sexual offense convictions), there are 50 transgender prisoners with a legal gender as female (5 or fewer with sexual offense convictions, withheld for privacy), totaling 295 transgender prisoners without a GRC. Historical 2019 data showed 58.9% of male-born prisoners identifying as transwomen had sexual offense conviction
The evidence from the Ministry of Justice proves that within the male prison population with a sex offence conviction, a greater % of those offenders identify as transwomen than do not. And you’d be amazed just how many of those only discovered they were transwomen after they committed their offence for which they were convicted. Who’d have thought! I’d place bets on you now claiming that those sex offenders aren’t really trans, they’re just pretending to be.
https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/18973/pdf/

Alexis Blake and his boyfriend/husband were also quite intimidating to Mr Menno at a Pride event. (Mostly the boyfriend to be fair, because Alexis wouldn’t get aggressive for fear of looking unladylike). They insisted Menno delete the video he had taken of their conversation, whilst retaining a video they had taken of Menno. They had been having quite a nice chat together until Menno mentioned JKR and then the atmosphere turned a bit.

I'm making the assumption that gender identity exists

That's a false assumption, GI doesn't exist and until that's recognised and people stop making these 'assumptions', there can be no practical solutions to the mess that GI has caused and no help for those who have been harmed by it.

Try reading about AGP men, or look up Transwidows.
https://quillette.com/2019/11/06/what-is-autogynephilia-an-interview-with-dr-ray-blanchard/

As well as all the suggestions about seeking therapy, I'd also suggest the affirming parents of trans children require therapy.

There's clearly some deep seated issues around gender roles/ homophobia where a parent would happily advocate for dangerous medical intervention, ceasing the biological norms of puberty in a child, in lieu of acceptance that a child may be gay/ doesn't conform to societal gender norms... You will never convince me that (outside of true intersex conditions), parents pushing affirming medical intervention on minors isn't anything but a form of Munchausen syndrome by proxy, and as far as I'm concerned is only a few steps away from eugenics.

Let's call it what it is, child abuse.

"I'm making the assumption that gender identity exists"

Okay, let's start there. Make the opposite assumption, that it does not exist. Explore your thinking from that basis. Report back.

I certainly do agree that using spaces where I belong is the best option