How to respond he/she?

[Manchesteruser]

Out with friends. One friend's son has a TIM friend. Obviously male but fake boobs and wearing a dress, about 25. Everyone refers to him 'as she'. I asked one, 'why do you refer to him as 'her/she' rather than 'he' and was told that that was what he prefers.

How would you have responded?

This is where ‘Be Kind’ gets us!

Nope, I won’t be indulging in this nonsense for anyone.

Friendships that require you to ditch your principles and play ‘let’s pretend’ to affirm his delusions and continue to fuck up women’s safety and dignity are really not worth pursuing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your sexual orientation is determined when you’re born, same as whether you’re predisposed to being tall, thin, autistic etc. So being Gay is perfectly normal.

However, it’s a scientific impossibility to change sex so why pretend otherwise?

Trans is a choice same as choosing to wear a fake moustache, having tattoos or to dye your hair green.

It’s another form of self expression but you can’t insist that others applaud and celebrate your choices. That’s controlling!

There's a big difference between gay and trans.

If a man sincerely says he feels sexually attracted to men, he is gay, since to feel attracted is to be attracted.

But if a man sincerely says he feels he is a woman, he is mistaken, since being a woman is biological and not related in that way to feelings.

Sincere claims to be gay must be true. Sincere claims to have changed sex must be false.

Do you see @AStonedRose?

I’d leave asap. Why would you want to spend time with people who tell lies to please a man?

You’re the moron with your tautology, bad grammar and misused exclamation mark.

The inability to lie in some is so strong that they would rather leave a situation than be forced to lie. For others, lying is easy.

You’re literally judging now

I hope you don't use the term "TIM" to or in front of friend's son's friend? It's derogatory and abusive.

I hope you don't use the term "TIM" to or in front of friend's son's friend? It's derogatory and abusive.

In what way is it derogatory and abusive to describe a Trans Identifying Male as a Trans Identifying Male? It's just a statement of fact describing a male who identifies as being trans.

What an extraordinary thing to say, it's just a statement of fact.

God help us all when the TRAs are trying to tell us clear, factual language is 'derogatory and abusive'. Talk about manipulation.

It is rude and abusive to expect people to follow your beliefs when they do not. It is also abusive/illegal for him to use single sex spaces that do not match his biological sex.

To describe someone as a twat isn’t a fact. I’m not a vagina.

I don't think I ever use pronouns when the person is in the room, I don't understand the problem in this particular circumstance.

I'd refuse to say she and just use the name. Tbh i wouldn't talk about him if he wasn't there, I'd talk to him if i were in a group conversation, but I'd be trying to extricate myself from the situation. I hope he was using the gents.

It depends on how close I was to them.

If I didn't know well, I'd avoid use of pronouns full stop.

If I knew I'd have a long chat about how much I loved and respected and didn't want to upset but I just couldn't do it for very lengthy reasons. Anyone who knows me well knows where I stand on this and why. And yes I have actually done this. It was fine.

To be fair there's no indication that this person went to the ladies loo. A lot of places now have unisex toilets.

Alot of places always had "unisex" toilets. Small cafes etc. that hasn't changed and does not need to be changed.
But more places don't have "unisex" toilets.
But then if people can't respect the dignity and safety of others then its hypocritical to demand it back

Depends. If I knew of you as someone who called themselves All-Knowing, I'd find that quietly amusing.

But in company, because I'm not a rude, bigoted person wishing to be abusive to anyone, I'd call you Al.

p.s. Well done for missing my point. The people abusing my mum and the lesbian couple thought they were against nature, and pretending to be something they weren't.

To them, it was obvious that my mum was a terrible person who'd chosen an unrighteous path - and that gay people couldn't be in relationships.

Comparing being trans with arrogance, showing off and selfishness is bigotry, I'm afraid. Try educating yourself, meeting some trans people and stop pronouncing on stuff you don't understand.

Surely you won't need to use a pronoun if he is with you. As people said just use his chosen name or use they. They has always been a perfectly acceptable way to talk about someone, " can't see Pricilla, they must have left"

Being trans isn't a belief, and characterising it as such is narrow-minded bigotry.

Failing to be polite to people isn't activism.

It really isn't your place, ever. None of your business.
Before you ask, I am happy to share space with transwomen, and to treat them with respect. Why they are trans, is none of my business.

Of course it is up to op how she refers to someone else. What is odd is someone wants other people to refer to them when they aren't even there. Massively controlling.

Do you not think it is deeply offensive to liken a man being called he to donestic abuse? How are you not ashamed of yourself for even suggesting that a factual word is the same as abuse?

wtf is wrong with people?