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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Transgender hate on mum's net

1000 replies

Steph2002 · 08/04/2026 13:30

I'm just wondering, I see so much hate on here about transgender woman and not a lot about transgender men. Does everyone on mum's net hate Transgender women and if so why? I don't mind sharing a toilet space with a transgender woman in fact my best friend is a transgender woman and she is the nicest person you could ever wish to meet and will protect any woman no matter where they are. I would hate to be sharing a toilet with a hairy masculine transgender man, which seems the way people want to go why? Am I the only person on here that supports trans gender women, if so I need to leave. How many people that hate Transgender women have actually met one and had issues with one I'd love to know.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
Happyjoe · 08/04/2026 15:27

Steph2002 · 08/04/2026 13:41

A trans woman in my eyes is a woman, and a trans man is a man. Especially once they have had gender reassignment surgery.

That's quite a small proportion isn't it?

usedtobeaylis · 08/04/2026 15:28

DeftBrickWriter · 08/04/2026 15:25

Hear hear OP! 100% with you - so much hate from women here for whom this issue plays almost certainly precisely zero significance in their lives. Keep sticking up for your friend OP, the munsnet bigots will be on the wrong side of history.

Fortunately for vulnerable and marginalised women, other women who don't have any skin in their specific game are willing to stand up for them anyway. Most often against the socially dominant sex. Just as well someone does.

Taztoy · 08/04/2026 15:28

DeftBrickWriter · 08/04/2026 15:25

Hear hear OP! 100% with you - so much hate from women here for whom this issue plays almost certainly precisely zero significance in their lives. Keep sticking up for your friend OP, the munsnet bigots will be on the wrong side of history.

I’m that mumsnetter who had an extended panic attack in the loos because of a man outside.

it definitely has a significance in my life.

hth.

plainjanesuperbrain2026 · 08/04/2026 15:28

MassiveWordSalad · 08/04/2026 15:10

It’s really strange to imply that the blokes in the men’s toilets will immediately forget what they went in there for if a ladyboy comes in and be compelled to ravish him.

And should we extrapolate that stunningly attractive women are more likely to be raped than those of us who are average looking or less attractive? What a load of bollocks.

Right. It's a fetishist fantasy, no more and no less. I actually did uses the men's loos once, as a younger woman when there was a queue in a pub. The only danger I felt was that I might slip on the pish on the floor.

A woman running in to a man's loo in desperation is in considerably less danger than a woman in a woman's toilet when a man who pretends to be a woman forces his way in. He is deliberately breaching women's boundaries and is already, by definition, a bad man.

The men I ran past in desperation to the sole cubicle as they stood at the urinal looked startled and a bit annoyed. If one of them had been a predator I might have been unlucky, of course, and I wouldn't recommend it, but I was really very attractive in my youth (the sort of feminine hot that men who pretend to be women literally never can achieve because they are men) and of course they weren't leaping on me to rape me in the bogs, they were just peeing.

But all men who pretend to be women and who push their way into women's toilets are, by definition, exhibiting predatory behaviour.

You might very well be in danger of being raped or otherwise assaulted by such a man. The absolute best case scenario is that the man pretending to be a woman is forcing you to take part in his fetishistic fantasies and display himself in front of you in his womanface .

Women have every reason to be fearful of men who pretend to be women to gain access to women's spaces. Men - even those pretending to be women - can just use the men's bogs like other men. They'll be fine, unless the men in there are gay, aggresive and hyper sexualised. Which would still be a man problem of course, and not one for women to solve by being body shields for them.

Kiminki · 08/04/2026 15:29

So many transwomen seem to be 'lovely'

Men who ignore women’s boundaries and destroy female spaces by invading them are not lovely.

Dontgetitt · 08/04/2026 15:29

MajorProcrastination · 08/04/2026 15:12

Every time there is a post about trans issues it is from a GC perspective and spirals into a lot of people with the same opinion backing each other up.

In real life, same as you, the trans women I have met through work have been lovely. The only trans man I know of is the sibling of someone I used to work with and he seems so much happier and more confident than he was before transitioning.

I think the posts are often so theoretical that they forget the real people. The only people who have every made me feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or have sexually assaulted or exposed themselves to me when I was a teenager have all been cis men.

Agreed. These threads always descend immediately into a pile on/echo chamber. It's a nuanced topic and deserves a nuanced approach, but it never receives that.

Shame all the "gender criticals" can't put their energies into getting so angry about issues that ACTUALLY affect them on a day to day basis like climate change, but hey let's pick on a tiny minority. And no, it doesn't matter if some trans activists are horrible - two wrongs don't make a right.

Won't return to this thread because it's a waste of time, but you're right to wonder OP

murasaki · 08/04/2026 15:29

Dontgetitt · 08/04/2026 15:29

Agreed. These threads always descend immediately into a pile on/echo chamber. It's a nuanced topic and deserves a nuanced approach, but it never receives that.

Shame all the "gender criticals" can't put their energies into getting so angry about issues that ACTUALLY affect them on a day to day basis like climate change, but hey let's pick on a tiny minority. And no, it doesn't matter if some trans activists are horrible - two wrongs don't make a right.

Won't return to this thread because it's a waste of time, but you're right to wonder OP

Bye then.

Otterloverfrenchielady · 08/04/2026 15:30

I always struggle with all the uproar about toilets, we have cubicles. Disabled toilets are gender neutral and you don’t see disabled folk up in arms because a ma sat on the bog before them.
lots of toilets in bars and clubs are cubicles on each side for men and women and shared hand washing facilities
I don’t know about anyone else but I have never seen another person’s genitals in a public bathroom either.

I am sure a high proportion of those again it have probably shared a public bathroom with a trans woman and never even known.

just let people pee

Coatsoff42 · 08/04/2026 15:30

DeftBrickWriter · 08/04/2026 15:25

Hear hear OP! 100% with you - so much hate from women here for whom this issue plays almost certainly precisely zero significance in their lives. Keep sticking up for your friend OP, the munsnet bigots will be on the wrong side of history.

I think you underestimate how many people on here have children swimming through the modern world of dysphoria at school and online, or work in a workplace with lgbtq policies. So it does have more than certainly precisely zero percent impact.

MassiveWordSalad · 08/04/2026 15:30

@MajorProcrastination I’m so sorry to hear about your history of sexual assault. I’ve been there and can empathise.

How would you feel if you found out one of the men who assaulted you now calls himself Sally, wears women’s clothes, and gets changed in the women’s changing rooms? Sally most likely hasn’t had any surgery, as the majority of trans-identifying men don’t, so he still has his penis. As well as their penises, they also keep their propensity for committing sexual offences - identifying as a woman doesn’t make that magically disappear, either. If we allow trans women into women’s spaces, that includes Sally too - would you be ok with that?

usedtobeaylis · 08/04/2026 15:30

Dontgetitt · 08/04/2026 15:29

Agreed. These threads always descend immediately into a pile on/echo chamber. It's a nuanced topic and deserves a nuanced approach, but it never receives that.

Shame all the "gender criticals" can't put their energies into getting so angry about issues that ACTUALLY affect them on a day to day basis like climate change, but hey let's pick on a tiny minority. And no, it doesn't matter if some trans activists are horrible - two wrongs don't make a right.

Won't return to this thread because it's a waste of time, but you're right to wonder OP

"Won't return to the thread because I've probably had my arse handed to me before on this and I'll cry if it happens again"

Taztoy · 08/04/2026 15:30

Dontgetitt · 08/04/2026 15:29

Agreed. These threads always descend immediately into a pile on/echo chamber. It's a nuanced topic and deserves a nuanced approach, but it never receives that.

Shame all the "gender criticals" can't put their energies into getting so angry about issues that ACTUALLY affect them on a day to day basis like climate change, but hey let's pick on a tiny minority. And no, it doesn't matter if some trans activists are horrible - two wrongs don't make a right.

Won't return to this thread because it's a waste of time, but you're right to wonder OP

It affects my life every time I leave the house long enough that I might need a loo.

Wearenotborg · 08/04/2026 15:30

Wonderingaboutthing · 08/04/2026 14:41

Sorry can't find it. Would be genuinely interested as I am a boxing fan and (of course) against men being allowed to compete against women. All I have seen so far is links to articles which link to articles which link to tweets and suspicion.

HOWEVER.

When JK Rowling posted her tweet, none of this had come out. She posted based on a picture of a not feminine looking person having won at sport, referring to them as a man. With no evidence.

Well apart from, the failed sex tests, the fact his coach admitted he was male and the fact he was dressed a male. Nope. No evidence at all. None. Not a sausage, apart from the one in IKs pants obviously

Justme56 · 08/04/2026 15:30

There is a prominent TW who transitioned in their mid 60s. So for 60+ years, by today’s language, they would have been called a cis man. I’m not sure why people don’t get this. Cis man today TW tomorrow. What exactly happens that changes that person other than a self identity. Why is one told they are safer to be around than another depending.what day they ‘came out’? They are still the same person.

MNLurker1345 · 08/04/2026 15:31

@DeftBrickWriter “plays almost certainly precisely zero significance in their lives”, wow, it takes some around about way of thinking to say something like that.

How can issues concerning women play no significance in the lives of women? That is what the objective is, perhaps - to erase women’s unique experiences. Scary!

usedtobeaylis · 08/04/2026 15:31

Otterloverfrenchielady · 08/04/2026 15:30

I always struggle with all the uproar about toilets, we have cubicles. Disabled toilets are gender neutral and you don’t see disabled folk up in arms because a ma sat on the bog before them.
lots of toilets in bars and clubs are cubicles on each side for men and women and shared hand washing facilities
I don’t know about anyone else but I have never seen another person’s genitals in a public bathroom either.

I am sure a high proportion of those again it have probably shared a public bathroom with a trans woman and never even known.

just let people pee

Why does this never extend to just letting women and their children pee without the presence of a man? Just leave women's toilets for women if it's just about peeing.

Taztoy · 08/04/2026 15:31

Otterloverfrenchielady · 08/04/2026 15:30

I always struggle with all the uproar about toilets, we have cubicles. Disabled toilets are gender neutral and you don’t see disabled folk up in arms because a ma sat on the bog before them.
lots of toilets in bars and clubs are cubicles on each side for men and women and shared hand washing facilities
I don’t know about anyone else but I have never seen another person’s genitals in a public bathroom either.

I am sure a high proportion of those again it have probably shared a public bathroom with a trans woman and never even known.

just let people pee

Cubicles with doors and shared sinks. They’re single sex and I don’t consent to a man in that space.

plainjanesuperbrain2026 · 08/04/2026 15:31

Dontgetitt · 08/04/2026 15:29

Agreed. These threads always descend immediately into a pile on/echo chamber. It's a nuanced topic and deserves a nuanced approach, but it never receives that.

Shame all the "gender criticals" can't put their energies into getting so angry about issues that ACTUALLY affect them on a day to day basis like climate change, but hey let's pick on a tiny minority. And no, it doesn't matter if some trans activists are horrible - two wrongs don't make a right.

Won't return to this thread because it's a waste of time, but you're right to wonder OP

Off you pop then love. Before you flounce give actual quotations as to what has enraged you so much. You won't of course, because there's nothing for you to quote.

Your misogyistic anger is coming off you in waves.

It's not nuanced at all. Men aren't women and they're not going to be treated as women not even the ones who pretend to be women.

You're welcome.

Coatsoff42 · 08/04/2026 15:32

Dontgetitt · 08/04/2026 15:29

Agreed. These threads always descend immediately into a pile on/echo chamber. It's a nuanced topic and deserves a nuanced approach, but it never receives that.

Shame all the "gender criticals" can't put their energies into getting so angry about issues that ACTUALLY affect them on a day to day basis like climate change, but hey let's pick on a tiny minority. And no, it doesn't matter if some trans activists are horrible - two wrongs don't make a right.

Won't return to this thread because it's a waste of time, but you're right to wonder OP

Maybe go on the specific boards to discuss climate change, or stable management, or politics, or tv? This board is for this topic, it’s what it’s for.

Wearenotborg · 08/04/2026 15:32

Otterloverfrenchielady · 08/04/2026 15:30

I always struggle with all the uproar about toilets, we have cubicles. Disabled toilets are gender neutral and you don’t see disabled folk up in arms because a ma sat on the bog before them.
lots of toilets in bars and clubs are cubicles on each side for men and women and shared hand washing facilities
I don’t know about anyone else but I have never seen another person’s genitals in a public bathroom either.

I am sure a high proportion of those again it have probably shared a public bathroom with a trans woman and never even known.

just let people pee

But that’s grand. If no one sees anyone’s genitals and it’s all good, males with a trans identity will be perfectly safe in the men’s won’t they 😁😁😁😁

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 08/04/2026 15:32

Otterloverfrenchielady · 08/04/2026 15:30

I always struggle with all the uproar about toilets, we have cubicles. Disabled toilets are gender neutral and you don’t see disabled folk up in arms because a ma sat on the bog before them.
lots of toilets in bars and clubs are cubicles on each side for men and women and shared hand washing facilities
I don’t know about anyone else but I have never seen another person’s genitals in a public bathroom either.

I am sure a high proportion of those again it have probably shared a public bathroom with a trans woman and never even known.

just let people pee

They can. In the ones that align with their sex. Easy peasy.

plainjanesuperbrain2026 · 08/04/2026 15:32

MNLurker1345 · 08/04/2026 15:31

@DeftBrickWriter “plays almost certainly precisely zero significance in their lives”, wow, it takes some around about way of thinking to say something like that.

How can issues concerning women play no significance in the lives of women? That is what the objective is, perhaps - to erase women’s unique experiences. Scary!

There are many instances in fact of women and children being assaulted in toiltets by men and men pretending to be women. The person you are replying to knows this, of course.

Not to mention women's right dignity and personal space away from men. Lying about reality affects everyone.

Pasta4Dinner · 08/04/2026 15:33

usedtobeaylis · 08/04/2026 15:31

Why does this never extend to just letting women and their children pee without the presence of a man? Just leave women's toilets for women if it's just about peeing.

If there are cubicles etc and it doesn’t matter why don’t they just go in the men’s then?

MassiveWordSalad · 08/04/2026 15:33

Otterloverfrenchielady · 08/04/2026 15:30

I always struggle with all the uproar about toilets, we have cubicles. Disabled toilets are gender neutral and you don’t see disabled folk up in arms because a ma sat on the bog before them.
lots of toilets in bars and clubs are cubicles on each side for men and women and shared hand washing facilities
I don’t know about anyone else but I have never seen another person’s genitals in a public bathroom either.

I am sure a high proportion of those again it have probably shared a public bathroom with a trans woman and never even known.

just let people pee

That’s very cool of you, but you don’t get to give away women’s rights.

Owly11 · 08/04/2026 15:33

Kiminki · 08/04/2026 15:26

OP hates hairy masculine women in the women’s toilets.

Quite so! It makes one think that op must believe people should stick to gender norms and is possibly a bit of a misogynist......

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