What's the deal guys?

[shadesOfTeal]

I don't think this post is going to last long but what's the deal with hating trans women so much? I've been a women for 13 years of my life since 18 and it's never been a problem. Suddenly I'm not only talk of the town but also an evil man stealing everyone's rights away from them? I wasn't much of a boy as a kid anyway but. I just wanted to ask like what's the deal? Why do you hate the idea of me existing so much? What have I personally done to you that's been so bad? I feel like I need to be careful with my words because it'll be easy to accuse me of all sorts but I've done no harm to anyone. If you want to ask a trans woman some honest questions then please do, I don't usually talk about it in my day to day life and that, I'm pretty down to earth and will help you understand as much as possible. But I'd like to ask the people that hate me so much, can we ever get along? Please don't assume I'm what the internet and the media says I am though, I'm not like that at all! I just want us all to get on and I'm sick of having my life debated every 5 minutes.

I also thought of celibate male people - voluntary and involuntary. And also a group of male people who choose to never penetrate someone because of their sexual preference.

It is a flawed premise that simply ended up misogynistic.

These threads have a certain pattern and so it goes. Again and again like some kind of I'm a Lady Groundhog Day

I'm planning a party for my almost 40 year old t-shirt

I have a 35 year old jacket that gets worn by various family members.

And I have a couple of my mums 1960s original dresses. But I also stopped wearing dresses years ago.

Did anyone else notice that this thread was briefly hidden yesterday - possibly only for 5 mins or so. Someone must have been reporting posts on this thread.

Oh, that's interesting, esp given that the thread starter professed an expectation that the thread would be shut down. A lot of people don't seem to realise that Mumsnet don't generally close threads because people are disagreeing, OR that most MNers (on this board, anyway) don't tend to ask for that. I suspect someone was expecting more of a Reddit experience, maybe with the chance of "see, they drove me away, the evil hags, and I was so POLITE to those guys!" screenshots.

That's got me thinking about my oldest items of clothing...

I have a treasured gig tee from late 1995 but it's falling to bits and kind of doesn't count. I have some tees that are in their 20s, fewer since I Marie Kondo'd all the ones that make me look fat don't spark joy.

I've got boxing gloves that I've had just under 25 years, if they count (don't see why not).

How were you "not much of a boy"? You are either a boy or girl, theres no middle ground.

I’ve got a 41 year old Aquascutum Mac. Doesn’t go anywhere near me now but I can’t seem to part with it.

Hi.

On the off-chance that our enlighteners are still around to help us understand more fully their notion of 'transitioning' can they tell me, us, how a man becomes a woman, what the process entails, does anything external need to happen or is it an interior 'soul' thing? I really want to know, genuinely seeking understanding. Thank you.

Update on Oldest Clothes : my 'actual black belt' was earned in summer 1995 and it still fits due to the fact that it's 3m long

I don't think there's anything else from that era that hasn't been binned off for being mysteriously shrunk, riddled with blim holes or just worn out

I have a dress that I bought in 1998. It would be tight on me now, ngl, but I hold on to it in hope 😆

I still have my school summer dress from when I was 14. Not that I wear it, mind. My oldest pair of shoes is a pair of brogues from the 80s and I used to hitch hike wearing my dad’s university scarf because people would think I was a poor student and stop for me. Scarf obvs older than me. Still have it somewhere but I no longer hitch hike.

My favourite winter coat ( black acrylic fur- so warm) is over 35 years old. I still wear it a lot. But not in the rain or it looks more "Canalside Rat Chic".

I still wear a jumper bought in 1999 with my first wages. It was Eastern Europe and we were paid cash in hand, so you could see your efforts translated into crisp notes. I also still have the hardcore winter coat I bought out there, but it's rarely cold enough to use in Southern England.

I’ve still got the suit jacket I wore to my graduation 30 years ago. From Richards, I felt very grown up. I would rip the back like the Incredible Hulk if I tried to put it on now.

To my complete lack of anything even resembling surprise, this thread has demonstrated some things that I’ve observed a number of times with males I’ve been acquainted with who decided to run away from that and assumed other gender identities (so I can’t be accused of not having met any, I’ve met plenty…). Extreme levels of self pity, what appears to be a feeling of ‘male failure’, a bizarre and toxic combination of self regard and self loathing, misdirected anger, and complete inability to empathise beyond the end of their own nose. They’ve also all either been heterosexual (now with extra steps!) or homosexual passive bottoms.
Toxic masculinity and its expectations have really done a number on these guys. But it’s really difficult to get through their chunky male skulls that womanhood is not an escape mechanism they can deploy as a way to get over their feelings of inadequacy as men. They need to find a new way, because this way is obviously not solving their problems its just creating more. I’m very sorry that their decisions weren’t the ‘easy mode’ they were hoping for, but if they really knew what it was to actually exist as a woman in the world they’d have realised that before they even started. The fact that they haven’t tells us all we need to know.

Be brave, guys, do the work and change what it means to be a man, for yourselves and for the benefit of your fellow men, because you’re not and never will be women.

The woman who wrote this talked about a PTSD response to being in an enclosed space with a man. A PTSD response is a strong physiological response that has been caused by past trauma.

You haven't acknowledged this at all, instead countered with "But how else am I supposed to take it when it personally effects me?"

No empathy whatsoever for whatever this woman has gone through, just "but what about me?"

Did you notice this when you replied to her?

Old clothes are the new cake!

My daughter is wearing an old dress of mine to prom. Granted that dress was only worn twice so it's practically brand new despite being about 26 years old. She tells me it's vintage, but I'm rather pleased with not having to fork out hundreds for a dress so I'll let that go.

Do I win? My t-shirt is from 1986.

DH's DM knitted him a jumper when he was 12. He wore it until he was 30 ish and then gave it to me. I wore it until this year when I passed it to my 12 year old DGC who was absolutely chuffed with it. Quite the event, took photos and everything.

So knitted in 1972 and still going strong.

I agree with this. The 2/3 transwomen I have spoken to in depth about this basically seemed to feel that they were inadequate men, and determined that that meant they were women. Which is frankly a pretty….. disappointing attitude!

It does seem to be another instance of male-as-default. We've seen this here a number of times: "I'm not a man, therefore I must be... a woman!"

The irony of course is that, if man and woman are really of equivalent weight and meaning, then our response should be of at least equal value to this. Yet a worldful of confused women replying, directly or implicitly, with, "You're not a woman, therefore you must be a man!" appears to go entirely unnoticed, on the basis of that one, single man's subjective beliefs.

It's the prioritisation of male-as-norm-from-which-one-cannot-deviate, with female as (what was it some awful reporter said once? something like...) sufficiently "expansive" and accommodating to accept all (self-)interested parties.

I was only poping in to enjoying the Merail🤷‍♀️

That 🙄 may in part explain the origin story of All-Your-Hetero-Husbands-Want-To-Shag-Me 🤣

But 100% shows why Stonewall etc wants to remove the term HOMOsexual as its clear that it is same sex and sexual.

🌻 as always hats off to the posters who continue to engage knowing its likely a TRA and will end in the usual "car crash" 🌻

100%