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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What's the deal guys?

1000 replies

shadesOfTeal · 17/02/2026 21:23

I don't think this post is going to last long but what's the deal with hating trans women so much? I've been a women for 13 years of my life since 18 and it's never been a problem. Suddenly I'm not only talk of the town but also an evil man stealing everyone's rights away from them? I wasn't much of a boy as a kid anyway but. I just wanted to ask like what's the deal? Why do you hate the idea of me existing so much? What have I personally done to you that's been so bad? I feel like I need to be careful with my words because it'll be easy to accuse me of all sorts but I've done no harm to anyone. If you want to ask a trans woman some honest questions then please do, I don't usually talk about it in my day to day life and that, I'm pretty down to earth and will help you understand as much as possible. But I'd like to ask the people that hate me so much, can we ever get along? Please don't assume I'm what the internet and the media says I am though, I'm not like that at all! I just want us all to get on and I'm sick of having my life debated every 5 minutes.

OP posts:
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Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 09:30

Greyskybluesky · 18/02/2026 09:14

I don't expect onepost will stay around much longer either..

Hmmm, I'm going to have to disagree with you on that! I get the impression the massive oversharing on here is cathartic and not about to stop any time soon.

🎯

Maaate · 18/02/2026 09:32

Myalternate · 18/02/2026 08:46

🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋

I wouldn’t bother engaging in discussion with someone that knows they will never be a woman but refuses to acknowledge and accept that fact.
It’s futile.

Yeah they thrive on the supply of attention (good or bad, just as long as they are in the spotlight) so it's time to stop feeding them

MarieDeGournay · 18/02/2026 09:49

Maaate · 18/02/2026 09:32

Yeah they thrive on the supply of attention (good or bad, just as long as they are in the spotlight) so it's time to stop feeding them

In Days of Yore we'd have started exchanging recipes, especially for cakes, at this point - it used to be a shared signal to stop engaging with the bad-faith posters, and it usually bored them away.

MNHQ didn't like it, it was considered to be out of line with the spirit of free discussion on threads, or something, so we don't do it any more and will get in trouble if we start doing it again.
It was fun, though, and quite effective Smile

I think we've probably said all we have to say on the subjects brought up by Shades and Onepost, most significantly pointing out that challenging gender ideology does not equal 'hate'.

They flatter themselves if they think I could be bothered to hate them - I'll engage with them respectfully and rationally up to a point, but I wouldn't waste any emotional energy on them.

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 09:57

What has been enlightening is that the male posters who declare they are female in some way that come onto this board now are no different to the male posters who declared the same from 5+ years ago.

There is still this sense of persecution that they have developed because female people rejected their male demands that they too are female. What is interesting is that we have seen a resurgence in the claims to have ‘always been female’ or that extreme body modification means that they can claim to be no longer fully male so therefore they must be female.

Either way, the emotional manipulation attempts are high as too the number of emotionally distorted points.

So too, is the dehumanisation of the women who disagree with them. For instance, the use of ‘you lot’ has come around more these days. Hint… we are not objects to be placed into ‘lots’.

The clumsy and obvious attempts to mischaracterise what feminists believe is also part of that. Obviously, if someone thinks they can portray, although falsely, that feminists who reject that any male person can be female are bigots and homophobic to boot, then that makes it easier for that poster to simply discredit what is being said.

It is like the desperate need to present someone’s constructed subjective reality as being more than only ever that single person’s constructed subjective reality. To present it as being material reality and that material reality can be believed away somehow. That if someone can cling onto the belief that they really have become a woman by declaring that those who reject this simply ‘believe’ something different and that it is not one of the abiding material facts of the world.

I think leveraging other people to bolster the impossible contributed to why last night’s posts were incoherent.

The premise that the OP wasn’t the one thinking that the OP was a woman… that was what others believed and how they treated the OP. The sport thing was another example, that it was because OP got ‘dragged into’ playing women’s sports. There were other examples and from not just the OP but from another male poster. Such as leveraging the sexual orientation of partners to support a false claim that a male person can be a female person.

The OP really was showing that things really haven’t changed at all. That some male people simply believe that female people are resources to be convinced of the impossible, solely for the benefit of that male person.

FranticFrankie · 18/02/2026 09:59

Teal- you forgot "y'all"

Datun · 18/02/2026 10:03

shadesOfTeal

i'm not sure you realise, but the woman on this board have been discussing these issues and how they affect women, for longer than you've actually identified as one.

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 10:09

It is almost getting back to the point that the disclaimer 'I am not saying I am female as that is impossible' is a distant memory for some of this group of male people. It is like the queer theory and postmodernist theories have again become dominant.

There is still nothing believable about any male person claiming to be in any way a female person whether they use the disclaimer or not.

It is still bollocks

Datun · 18/02/2026 10:12

onepostwonder · 18/02/2026 00:10

I have never sexually understood myself to be man or male. I would have a hard time trying to believe any of my partners have either..

I've never penetrated anyone, nor did I ever had the urge to do it. Your genuinely held beliefs don't rewrite or recontextualise my sexual experience, nor the experience of my partners.

I cannot deny which does not exist. Your insistence that I am homophobic because my experience does not align with your beliefs is misogynist, homophobic and transphobic.

You might want to take a look at Ray Blanchard's typology.

You fit it almost exactly.

His suggestion that some transwomen are HSTS (homosexual transsexual), who have internalised homophobia to the point where they would rather identify as a woman to make them heterosexual, than be upfront homosexual.

See men like Juno Dawson claiming that being gay is a consolation prize because those men can't be women, and always maintaining that his partners are heterosexual men.

(The very concept makes most people's head explode. If you're a man attracted to a man, you're not heterosexual).

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 10:20

The accusations of misogyny and homophobia from male people who claim to be female is hypocritical. Redefining the words of women and heterosexuals while demonising others is remarkable.

Tallisker · 18/02/2026 10:22

Datun · 18/02/2026 10:03

shadesOfTeal

i'm not sure you realise, but the woman on this board have been discussing these issues and how they affect women, for longer than you've actually identified as one.

Oh Datun ❤️

”I have shoes older than you”

nicepotoftea · 18/02/2026 11:33

onepostwonder · 17/02/2026 23:21

I assume there's someone from every colour of the rainbow here. It sadly doesn't provide them with enough wisdom or self-reflection before applying the same strategies and fables in the battles against trans people as used in the battles against lesbians and gays.

Edited

It is demonstrably possible to be romantically and sexually attracted to people of the same sex.

It is not possible to change sex.

It is not within our gift to change that.

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 18/02/2026 11:48
Bill Murray Well Its Groundhog Day Again GIF

It doesn't matter now who thinks what. The law's been confirmed, it's over.

MassiveWordSalad · 18/02/2026 11:59

God bless those of you who have the endless patience to keep explaining.

For the record, this thread has been standing for nine hours and counting and is unlikely to be deleted. It’s almost as if Mumsnet allows different opinions 🧐

MarieDeGournay · 18/02/2026 12:05

MassiveWordSalad · 18/02/2026 11:59

God bless those of you who have the endless patience to keep explaining.

For the record, this thread has been standing for nine hours and counting and is unlikely to be deleted. It’s almost as if Mumsnet allows different opinions 🧐

Sometimes it helps to clarify our own thoughts.
Sometimes it's useful because not everybody on this board is an 'old hand' at GCism.
Sometimes it's fun - a battle of wits against an unarmed combatant😄
Sometimes - this is just me - if I get a hint that the poster may be genuinely confused or distressed, I soften the tone a bit and wish them well - but nonetheless wish I them elsewhere!

pontefractals · 18/02/2026 12:14

Greyskybluesky · 18/02/2026 09:14

I don't expect onepost will stay around much longer either..

Hmmm, I'm going to have to disagree with you on that! I get the impression the massive oversharing on here is cathartic and not about to stop any time soon.

His username is... misguided. Or maybe misguiding?

MarieDeGournay · 18/02/2026 12:32

pontefractals · 18/02/2026 12:14

His username is... misguided. Or maybe misguiding?

If onepostwonder needed a Drag name, and I sincerely hope not😠 I suggest 'Miss Nomer'

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 18/02/2026 12:47

Well i checked back to learn the exciting news that the definition of a woman is a man who has never stuck his dick in any one, at least according to one of the posters here

I’ve been at this nonsense for 10 years now and that is a new one, I must admit. Entertainingly homophobic and misogynistic, no?

KnottyAuty · 18/02/2026 12:50

shadesOfTeal · 17/02/2026 21:42

ok so I personally, am not. Some are and I think the media plays on it a lot. I don't go around telling people to call me a woman or she or whatever, they just do. I never asked them to either. Well, apparently I might not even be a man anymore? Apparently I'm 'some sort of new type of intersex' which I think is probably rubbish. I dunno, I never grew up as one so I can't really call myself one. I get why people get upset with me people called a woman but at the same time, I'm treated like one everyday? So it's a confusing one.

Hey I was going to stay out of women's sports but my friends dragged me like 12 years ago 😅 I've given it up now. Not because I'm banned twice but I'd feel awful if I was the reason my team lost points but I doubt anyone would say anything anyway.

🤮
You sound unbelievably selfish and self obsessed. If that’s not the case do consider adjusting your communication style

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 12:50

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 18/02/2026 12:47

Well i checked back to learn the exciting news that the definition of a woman is a man who has never stuck his dick in any one, at least according to one of the posters here

I’ve been at this nonsense for 10 years now and that is a new one, I must admit. Entertainingly homophobic and misogynistic, no?

Apparently not.

Those accusations have been levelled at posters pointing out that this definition is homophobic and misogynistic. It is more DARVO in action.

Datun · 18/02/2026 12:57

Tallisker · 18/02/2026 10:22

Oh Datun ❤️

”I have shoes older than you”

Seriously, shoes, cheese, knickers. They all fit!

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 13:00

'some sort of new type of intersex'

Let's not forget how offensive it is for those who have the medical conditions that are categorised as differences of sex development to also have their conditions now politicised in the constant need to try to create support for what is a philosophical belief. It is not just female people having their language redefined to suit the needs of this group.

It really is constant.

KnottyAuty · 18/02/2026 13:07

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 13:00

'some sort of new type of intersex'

Let's not forget how offensive it is for those who have the medical conditions that are categorised as differences of sex development to also have their conditions now politicised in the constant need to try to create support for what is a philosophical belief. It is not just female people having their language redefined to suit the needs of this group.

It really is constant.

💯
This extract is particularly offensive imo

Datun · 18/02/2026 13:11

'some sort of new type of intersex'

I can remember reading about Bernard Reed of GIRES, absolutely haranguing the Intersex Society to join forces with him and his organisation.

Apparently, his driving motivation was that they could ally with each other over promoting 'sex reassignment surgery'.

He wanted to do a program, Panorama if I remember correctly, with them both on, showing a united front.

The Intersex Society refused, over, and over. Even going so far as to publish an open letter online laying out the targeted campaign against them, to get him to back off.

But the hounding didn't stop.

Cut to now, a few years later, and you've got sexist men actually claiming to be 'intersex', because of their (perfectly obvious to everyone else) ingrained homophobia.

Whoever it was at the Intersex Society who didn't trust Read or his determined appropriation of disorders of sexual development, should be congratulated over their insight, and commiserated with over what they must be viewing as an appalling turn of events.

nicepotoftea · 18/02/2026 13:13

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 18/02/2026 12:47

Well i checked back to learn the exciting news that the definition of a woman is a man who has never stuck his dick in any one, at least according to one of the posters here

I’ve been at this nonsense for 10 years now and that is a new one, I must admit. Entertainingly homophobic and misogynistic, no?

But with interesting implications for the priesthood?

Helleofabore · 18/02/2026 13:23

Datun · 18/02/2026 13:11

'some sort of new type of intersex'

I can remember reading about Bernard Reed of GIRES, absolutely haranguing the Intersex Society to join forces with him and his organisation.

Apparently, his driving motivation was that they could ally with each other over promoting 'sex reassignment surgery'.

He wanted to do a program, Panorama if I remember correctly, with them both on, showing a united front.

The Intersex Society refused, over, and over. Even going so far as to publish an open letter online laying out the targeted campaign against them, to get him to back off.

But the hounding didn't stop.

Cut to now, a few years later, and you've got sexist men actually claiming to be 'intersex', because of their (perfectly obvious to everyone else) ingrained homophobia.

Whoever it was at the Intersex Society who didn't trust Read or his determined appropriation of disorders of sexual development, should be congratulated over their insight, and commiserated with over what they must be viewing as an appalling turn of events.

Well, we have also seen quite a few male posters claim that their 'sluggish' male puberty was 'intersex' when there was no ambiguity about his male sex, and also we have some male people (Samantha Kane is one) who claim that their cells are now 'feminised' and therefore there is nothing 'male' about them anymore after all this time.

The list is endless. The outcome is always the same though.

These male people want to find the appropriately convincing pathway to 'female' because that then gives some evidential substance to their identity. I suspect that they all know that this is all based on purely subjective reality founded on philosophical belief. However, their carefully orchestrated attempt to convince society of the impossible is failing as it spread past the initial enabler group.

Every legal challenge is making this belief crumble further. Every medical review. And now every poll of the general public.

Oh... and also every single discussion about male people with DSDs in sport. That has done a huge amount of damage. Every week, fewer and fewer people believe the myth of a female person with naturally 'high' testosterone that needs to be 'reduced'.

That is the thing about dishonest statements. It gets exposed as false eventually.

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