Always been GC, but now afraid I'm becoming transphobic

[HouseOfGuineaPigs]

I've always been gender critical and 100% in support of safe spaces for natal women only. I'm completely comfortable with being gender critical. But I'm concerned I've crossed a line into becoming a full on bigot, which is something I don't want to be. Due to my own background of mental health and trauma issues I follow pages on this issue on Facebook. I just saw one with a graphic post saying Using Preferred Pronouns Is Suicide Prevention and it made me want to scream and throw things.

I've been suicidal, I've attempted. I've battled see harm and self destructive behaviours since childhood. I should be sympathetic about the struggles people are having . But I feel manipulated seeing posts like that one. I use preferred names when I'm addressing trans persons. I am kind to them, I don't mention their issues. I treat them the same as anyone else. I will call a bloke Sue even if his real name is Bob, it feels odd, but I will do it to be respectful . But calling a he a she is a step too far. I would either use their name or use they.

Why do I feel so strongly that I'm being manipulated ? None of the trans people I know have abused me in any way. They haven't infringed on my boundaries . I have 2 trans friends, another who is non binary and 2 acquaintances. They have all been decent .

I just feel resentful that I'm being made to feel responsible for someone not taking their life because I don't affirm their identity ?

I'm horrible aren't I ? Please sort my head out !

@LoftyRobin do midwifes receive any specific training about women who take testosterone and how that affects their treatment and are there any protocols in place to discuss infant safety if their mother uses testosterone post birth?

Many mental Health drugs and recreational drugs have the same effect. Every week, women book into maternity care with a.current history of taking recreational drugs like ecstacy, cocaine, mdma and speed. Unless those women are poor, or addicted to crack or heroin, we pretty much leave them alone except for a urine test they can decline.

On mental health drugs, maybe we should question why someone would ever even think of conceiving knowing that they have a serious mental health condition that as maybe only been stablised by a drug incompatible with pregnancy. Taking these drugs in pregnancy (even the "safe" ones) presents risks to the baby. On top of that, many of these conditions come with an increased chance of PNP and are hereditary, so by that merit, any woman with a serious mental health condition who conceives is as irresponsible as a trans man who may have taken testosterone, either now or in the past.

So do you feel the same about anyone with a mental health diagnosis having children?

If the posts that you reported weren't taken down then I would suggest that you need to reassess your opinion on what is and isn't transphobic as it doesn't aline with the majority thinking of normal people

Yes there are protocols and training. My one in Summer did go over the fact that trans men often take testosterone, but if their pregnancy is planned, they've likely stopped some time ago. Also tells us what to do..

I'm sure places like.Brighton would have more extensive training. We have one day/session a year or so.

Most conceive through IUI or IVF

With schizophrenia it's generally best not to directly challenge a delusion, it will usually cause them at best to completely shut down communication, and at worst trigger anger or a spiral of paranoia.
It's best to not affirm but not deny, a gentle "that's interesting" sort of approach.
Obviously that's for invested family members and health care professionals to deal with though, the issue with delusions regarding gender identity is that regular people who aren't closely invested in the person or medical professionals are expected to manage the beliefs.

Are there any requirements for you to talk to a mother using testosterone about safety protocols if they use testosterone to prevent transfer to their child

@LoftyRobin you clearly feel strongly about this and are also clearly still angry about the last thread.

Rather than derailing another thread, why don't you start a thread specifically for this topic? Then more people will see it and it will get the attention it deserves rather than bring treated as side topic.

People who threaten suicide are mentally unwell, whether the background to that is depression, or anorexia, or a desire for gender conformity different from that they imagine is appropriate for their sex.

Suicidal ideation is a symptom of mental illness.

Thinking (really believing, not setting up an imaginary construct) that any mammal can change sex demonstrates a disconnect with reality.

I'm inclined to think a belief that gender conformity is necessary is a destructive madness in itself.

I'm not angry or derailing. I am talking about the radical extreme bigoted "GC" views on the site.. it sounds like you want me to shut up about them....

Evidence?

Have any posters said you should be challenging your patients? Or is that just your interpretation of what they said?

And someone’s gender identity does indeed have impact on the health care professionals they interact with. If a health care provider is distracted by making sure they are not using language that refers to the pregnant woman’s sex class, that is not the optimum outcome.

So now all trans people are suicidal? What's suicide got to do with it. Should women with a history of suicide attempts or ideation also be counted as safeguarding risks and be "watched"?

My perspective is that I am gender critical in principle. I don't agree that men can become women, or women can become men. I object to male bodied individuals using protected female spaces.

However, I have transgender and non-binary friends and I quite happily respect their wish to be called by their chosen name. I am very happy to refer to them as 'they' or 'he', as requested, because it's polite to respect their chosen name/pronoun.

I would still be honest about my views if asked. I would resist a request to state my pronouns on documents. I score out 'gender' and replace it with 'sex' on forms. That doesn't make me transphobic, it makes me a realist.

Many mental Health drugs and recreational drugs have the same effect. Every week, women book into maternity care with a.current history of taking recreational drugs like ecstacy, cocaine, mdma and speed. Unless those women are poor, or addicted to crack or heroin, we pretty much leave them alone except for a urine test they can decline.

At least those women don't get to complain when staff discuss their history using accurate language. The medical need for clarity is paramount.

Imagine if medical staff were required to discuss the needs of heroin users using opposite-sex pronouns from the usual ones. For pregnancy and childbirth where the patient's sex is critical to their care, medical staff need to be able to use correct-sex pronouns.

call me cynical but you don’t sound like someone who has ever been GC

I too wondered this.

Could you elaborate on what you mean by “more radicalised and extreme”?

Well you can expect to have formal complaints lodged about you for using abusive language that dehumanise your patients then.
By willfully choosing to refer to pregnant women and birthing mothers as pregnant people or birthing person you are forcing your beliefs on them.
Under the new guidance coming from wes streeting and Westminster along with the sc ruling on sex and the separate sc ruling against Fred connelly everyone who gets pregnant or gives birth are legally and biologically women/girls and MOTHERs.
Good luck at your fitness to practice hearing when it comes for your abusive and dehumanising behaviour towards the women and girls you claim to care so much for

There is nothing 'radical' about the reality of sex and the fact one cannot change one's sex. One wonders why you post here if you find it so bigoted and hostile? What it it you are hoping to achieve? I'd have thought that as a busy midwife your days off would be spent doing something far mor relaxing than posting on here?

This. Take a break. Just avoid all content on this for a set period.

You will calm to a place of values and not emotion. That is important.

Yes they have said that. No HCP should be distracted by using preferred terms to a service user. In fact, it is unlikely youd have to use said pronouns to the service user. I'd call them "Billy", not "him/her over there".

The only distraction would be if you are obsessed with trans people and were unable to drop your personal views to provide maternity care to whoever needs it.

This could be the same in any job. If you're a teacher and fixated on whether someone is really a boy or a girl instead of teaching algebra, you won't be able to deliver a fair and equal education to your students due to your inability to put aside your personal views and just do your job.

Because I want to post here. Mind your own business about how I use my personal time.