Always been GC, but now afraid I'm becoming transphobic

[HouseOfGuineaPigs]

I've always been gender critical and 100% in support of safe spaces for natal women only. I'm completely comfortable with being gender critical. But I'm concerned I've crossed a line into becoming a full on bigot, which is something I don't want to be. Due to my own background of mental health and trauma issues I follow pages on this issue on Facebook. I just saw one with a graphic post saying Using Preferred Pronouns Is Suicide Prevention and it made me want to scream and throw things.

I've been suicidal, I've attempted. I've battled see harm and self destructive behaviours since childhood. I should be sympathetic about the struggles people are having . But I feel manipulated seeing posts like that one. I use preferred names when I'm addressing trans persons. I am kind to them, I don't mention their issues. I treat them the same as anyone else. I will call a bloke Sue even if his real name is Bob, it feels odd, but I will do it to be respectful . But calling a he a she is a step too far. I would either use their name or use they.

Why do I feel so strongly that I'm being manipulated ? None of the trans people I know have abused me in any way. They haven't infringed on my boundaries . I have 2 trans friends, another who is non binary and 2 acquaintances. They have all been decent .

I just feel resentful that I'm being made to feel responsible for someone not taking their life because I don't affirm their identity ?

I'm horrible aren't I ? Please sort my head out !

She literally just suggested you start a thread specifically for this topic so more people will see it and it will get the attention it deserves.

It's the very opposite of telling you to shut up.

She's politely asking you not to derail.

Do you not see that?

Do you mean, just like you seem to make your own hyperbolic negative generalisations about posters on this board?

Wow you’re still doing it. No one said all trans people are suicidal. However, the trans lobby and many individual transactivists do claim that trans people will kill themselves if not affirmed, and that doing things like banning (harmful, irreversible, unevidenced) puberty blockers as an affirming treatment is “killing” trans people.

Do you deliberately twist what people are saying to suit your narrative, or do you genuinely think PPs have said all the things you claim?

Yes but if you're going to quote someone its best practice to correctly attribute the quote and for it to atleast be relevant to the discussion rather than use an unattributed quote in an attempt to draw a false equivalence or to slur and maline an entire board/site

Nothing in my posts nor your response to them talked about maternity care or people conceiving, so either you've quoted the wrong person or you're having an imaginary conversation with me.

I know it's hard on fast-moving threads but it's all there to read back.

No it’s not a breach of human rights. Don’t be daft. Show me which article states people have the right to be called by certain pronouns.

No mothers complain about the language I use. I'd love to see a woman say in real life "I'm not a person, I'm a woman!".

Generally I've always agreed with using women AND pregnant people to suit everyone who might use maternity services. But no, overall, people who are pregnant dont give a shit about this all. All our general literature changed and nobody said anything or made any complaints about inclusiveness.

I'd hazard a bet many of our local population of women supported it because we live in a diverse city.

People.have the right to individualised, holistic care and me challenging a service user who needs maternity care by insisting I call them what I want would disrupt that.

It would be like a woman called Mary wanting to be called.Sarah even though it isn't her legal name by any standards. Yes I could argue that it isn't her name, but actually I should just be checking her baby is okay because that is my job. My job isn't to ensure she uses her legal name

RTFT

The first paragraph of the opening post is about the use of suicidal threat, vis:
a graphic post saying Using Preferred Pronouns Is Suicide Prevention and the suggestion, carried in that quoted FB post, that trans people are that mentally fragile and, yes, suicidal.

That is the subject of the discussion. I have been staying on topic.

Of course the majority of women care, they've been shamed into keeping their mouths shut by idiotic women like you.

It isnt a derailing at all. Talking about how users on here said I should behave towards.trans maternity users is exactly about the line between GC and transphobic.

It’s manipulative, you feel it intuitively.

Just for context, I think I’m correct in saying that, based on views she expressed on a previous thread, @LoftyRobin is a midwife who believes that “compassion” is more effective at preventing maternal and neonatal deaths than evidence-based midwifery practice.

So I would argue that she should not be treated as any kind of authority on anything factual, like the safety of cross-sex hormones during pregnancy or the comparative harms of cross-sex hormones and other medications/lifestyle choices.

Entirely OK to challenge and question her views on gender ideology of course!

No they really don't and actually many women fully support sharing all single sex provisions with trans people. I can tell you that if we were to announce that we are going to exclude trans users from maternity care in any way, the first and loudest protestors would be women.

Funny that, because this is MumsNet and pretty much all the women on this thread and others in FWR have been pregnant and have used maternity services ourselves.

Have you checked that your local popultion all understand the material that doesn't use normal language? Hazard whatever bets you like but if no-one's asked your local population the questions then you don't know the answers.

"Transphobic" isn't a thing, it doesn't exist.

This thread is about people threatening suicide to get their own way. It’s well known abusive behaviour.

OK fine.

I note that a number of things you write twist what other posters have said. Do you realise that?

I am simply clarifying what was actually said in this case.

Don't be ridiculous.

Yes and they are already, they are given a MH health visitor team and there's often ss involvement from birth (sometimes before birth) and safeguarding plans put into place.
However if you really are a midwife you know this already or should do

Watching a young child with learning disability, who already struggle with traditionally ascribed pronouns, pretzel themselves into using the preferred pronoun of someone who is quite obviously of one sex but is using the clothing and makeup associated with the opposite sex makes you realise how barmy it all is. DD1 was 6 when Tracey drove her bus. She would stumble over her pronouns, doing her best to say the right thing. The look of confusion on her face every time she said 'h-she' 'hi-her' was really sad.

could it be that this poster has found their way here via reddit ?

Given polling on other issues, it’s really not going to be the majority. TWAW in all ways is a fringe luxury belief and completely unworkable. Most people support there being reasonable limits where people require single sex provision.