student university toilets

[cigarsmokingwoman]

DD is a 1st year student at a university in Scotland and frequently comes home (she commutes) bursting because she doesn't want to use the student toilets which are apparently all unisex with urinals. She tells me she wanders the building in vain for a female only toilet and even tries going to other student buildings and cannot find them. Yesterday she says she was walking around for 20 minutes before giving up out of desperation and using the unisex one. I wonder how many other universities are the same? It's appalling. DD will not complain or cause a scene but it makes her very uncomfortable.

@LoftyRobin is a bona fide odd poster
I have come across this poster on other threads and… best ignored.

Although I do agree that it is concerning the OP’s daughter lied to her about urinals in the gender neutral toilets. It is very clearly stated on the website that no urinals In any of the gender neutral toilets at this uni

Yet I am the problem for pointing that out?

You were very unkind in the way you did so.

you called a 17 year old who is young, and likely to be struggling, a “pathological liar”.

Where is your compassion?

Pause
reread your posts
slowly

Where is your evidence that it is habitual for her to tell lies?

And where is your compassion?

Thats why I said "if" it is habitual as you would have seen if you had read before responding.

Dont need to. Look i get that making up lies about this topic is encouraged by many as part of the overall fearmongering, but pointing that out as toxic isnt the problematic part.

It really isnt normal to fabricate things like this. I know that for a lot of people, embellishing stories and making things up is how they've always got attention and so it is a normal for them but that isn't the world we want. She needs help. Mum needs to confront it head on. That's my last comment on it.

I would say it’s pathological
lying to insist that men can have babies and to say that it’s not only women that have babies and cervixes.

I would say that it’s pathological behaviour to continue to harangue people who are merely wanting the law to be obeyed and to have their legal rights upheld.

But what do I know.

@LoftyRobin I am not and have never “fearmongered” on this topic how dare you.

I was subjected to a violent rape and sexual assault. He burst through my door, pushed me back against the back wall of my living room, strangled me until I passed out and when I woke I had pissed myself. He was trying to take my trousers down at that point (marks and Spencer’s black wide leg jersey) and he pulled them and my knickers down and raped me whilst holding his hand at my throat.

he also orally raped me, and penetrated me with his fingers in my vagina and mouth.

And he kissed me and forced his tongue down my throat.

I need same sex spaces because of my trauma around that. I need to be able to go out and live my life because I have the right to do that.

if there is a man in a single sex toilet that is a women’s toilet where I have entered and am doing my business, I won’t be able to stay on my day out, and I will have to go home and my MH will be on a knife edge. It’s happened. I’ve had to do it. Day out being at the supermarket.

I need my counselling space to be female only. And again, that is my right.

Don’t you dare tell me I am fear mongering. How dare you. I have never fear mongered.

I was of the what does it matter use the pronouns they want let them in the loo persuasion until my rape.

now, I can’t cope with a man in any space where I am behind a closed door. My work are very good and the blokes on my floor know I struggle (I’ve no idea who told them) and they don’t go to the gender neutral loo and wait if I’m in there. (There’s 2 loos, you go through a door and there’s a small corridor where you can wait.)

I have never ever fearmongered.

you did this yesterday. You lumped me in with a “you” that only existed in your head. Please don’t do that. It’s unfair and it’s similar to the actions of someone who isn’t debating in good faith.

Edited for clarity around the women’s toilet space.

Who insists that men can have babies in this thread?

So sorry that happened to you @Taztoy you deserve to feel safe

I was just discussing what might constitute pathological behaviour.

And explaining why I object to you saying - on this thread - that women’s single sex spaces are moot.

They are not. They are never moot. There is always a need for them and organisations and companies should obey the law.

I have every sympathy for a 17 year old who is young, and navigating university and has found herself, for example, in the wrong bathroom. I have autism and adhd and very well may have panicked and thought in that panic that the spaces were shared. And even told my mother so. That doesn’t make a pathological liar, it makes me disabled.

Edit to add. I strenuously object to being called fearmongering. I deserve - and am legally entitled to - a safe space. And if we don’t use clear words that everyone understands about what a woman is that means I can’t have my single sex space to which I am lawfully entitled.