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SpamBeansAndWaffles · 05/09/2025 11:54

This is a horrible thread. I'm genuinely shocked by the responses

FrankieCranky · 05/09/2025 11:54

If people want to understand more about why diagnosis of autism (and adhd and other neurodevelopmental conditions) has increased, “The Autism Curve” on BBC sounds is very good.

Just to say again - it isn’t possible to parent your way out of having a neurodivergent child. We have always had family mealtimes and my DD has autism and adhd anyway.

The Tennants may well be terrible parents but having neurodivergent children isn’t proof of that, and is actually irrelevant to their competence as parents.

Yellowlife · 05/09/2025 11:57

2021x · 05/09/2025 08:59

Neurodiversity is not a medical term, because it means nothing. We are all neurodiverse. The term is neuro-atypical which is differences in the functioning of the brain OUTSIDE of the normal range. I find people only use that term when they don’t have a diagnosis.

There are lots of people who feel disconnected for lots of reasons, and social media + Covid has really ramped that up and torpedoed young people’s ability to engage in face to face socialisation.

Neurodivergent (ND) is the term I usually hear, rather than neuro-atypical, but it amounts to the same thing.

I disagree that people only use the term if they don’t have a diagnosis. Many people have multiple diagnoses, eg asd, adhd plus dyslexia, so sometimes neurodivergent is a general term that they use to describe themselves, rather than just picking one diagnosis.

Dogosaurus · 05/09/2025 12:01

PlanetJanette · 05/09/2025 11:27

And if that ‘criticism’ includes the nasty ablist tropes that this thread does, then others can also call that out. So far on this thread we’ve had claims that her kids just weren’t given a routine, that ND people should just suck it up to fit in, that neurodiversity is the same as misbehaviour.

Truly exposing the nastiness that exists on this board.

Show quote history

There were worse comments that have now been deleted by mumsnet.

upseedaisee · 05/09/2025 12:01

What is it with people who have to use (abuse?) their kids to make themselves feel relevent. It's disgusting.

Original poster
Charabanc · 05/09/2025 12:03

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 05/09/2025 11:54

I'm not sure what you meant by 'It explains a lot" but as an autistic person, I take it to mean that because they have ND children, David must be ND and this explains his bad behaviour.

So thanks for that on behalf of all the other ND people on here. It's lovely spending your whole life struggling and then have people using your diagnosis as a scathing criticism.

No, what I meant was - I'll try and sum it up:

DT and GD have said they have a trans child
DT is a vehement trans activist
Turns out that DT and GD have more than one ND child
There is a strong link between the rate of trans and ND children

I certainly didn't mean to insult or criticise ND people, or parents, I was only talking about these two people, after she herself has exposed her children and their conditions on social media.

OP posts:
ManteesRock · 05/09/2025 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 05/09/2025 12:04

TheaBrandt1 · 05/09/2025 10:24

In my friendship group we don’t even disclose our own teens medical issues except to smaller subsets of the group if support needed or they in similar boat. Cannot imagine going public with medical details like this when the children cannot consent. Grifters. Judging hard.

Totally. Pair of self absorbed nitwits.

although sounds like she is neuro diverse as well with the stuff about having to keep food separate (something I do). And over sharing is also a thing with neurodiversity.

JSMill · 05/09/2025 12:06

Working in education, I have seen plenty of families with more than one dc who is ND. Often, when you get to know the parents, you realise one orboth is probably ND but probably wasn’t diagnosed as a child

Rednorth · 05/09/2025 12:06

BlueLegume · 05/09/2025 11:51

Good opportunity to recommend this as a thought provoking book https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/459411/searching-for-normal-by-timimi-sami/9781911717126

Wanted to add another suggestion too - 'Empire of Normality, Neurodiversity and Capitalism' by Robert Chapman.

Dogosaurus · 05/09/2025 12:09

Charabanc · 05/09/2025 12:03

No, what I meant was - I'll try and sum it up:

DT and GD have said they have a trans child
DT is a vehement trans activist
Turns out that DT and GD have more than one ND child
There is a strong link between the rate of trans and ND children

I certainly didn't mean to insult or criticise ND people, or parents, I was only talking about these two people, after she herself has exposed her children and their conditions on social media.

Edited
Show quote history

I don’t think you insulted or criticised ND people or their parents, but others certainly have. Mumsnet seem to have deleted the worst comments.

deadpan · 05/09/2025 12:11

Weepixie · 05/09/2025 11:32

I’m so glad my 33 year old son who has a diagnosis of Classic Kanners Autism was born when he was because I know for sure if I’d had bringing him up whilst learning a new language every couple of years I’d have lost the will to live.

As it is I’ve no idea what he’d be diagnosed with nowadays, I stopped paying attention and trying to keep up years ago.

He has Classic Kanners Autism, Bipolar Disorder, Tourette’s and Epilepsy. End of. And all of the very many new fangled terms for any, or all of these conditions can go to ……..

As can anyone else who insists on their use.

Show quote history

Gosh, what a lot he has to cope with! And by extension you as well.
I just think bickering about small differences in what conditions are called is pointless, when we all know what's being discussed.

Original poster
Charabanc · 05/09/2025 12:13

Dogosaurus · 05/09/2025 12:09

I don’t think you insulted or criticised ND people or their parents, but others certainly have. Mumsnet seem to have deleted the worst comments.

Show quote history

Thank you. Unfortunately I have no control over other posters.

I maybe should have made my point clearer in my first post, but by posting it on this board I assumed it would be understood.

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 05/09/2025 12:20

yes makes sense with their so called trans child-

Rednorth · 05/09/2025 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh sweet irony.

You know a woman who took puberty blockers as a treatment to an evident physiological condition that shows a clear divergence from biological norms...

To then conflate that absolute medical need with the posts around the use of puberty blockers in children who 'feel' they are in the wrong body in (I say feel in inverted commas, as there is no physiological evidence that can be observed) is so unbelievably disingenuous.

Label OP a terf 🙄 all you want, but agenda wise it's not OP that's the problem here.

Funnywonder · 05/09/2025 12:26

LegoPicnic · 05/09/2025 11:23

Yes they can - not up to you to police how individuals refer to themselves. I much prefer to refer to myself as neurodiverse than neurodivergent.

And with 4 diagnosed ND conditions I think it is perfectly reasonable that I am neurodiverse all by myself.

Show quote history

I’m not policing what ‘individuals’ refer to themselves as, although I have to admit that’s a very appropriate choice of word. I was pointing out what I saw as a grammatical error. Or maybe a terminology error. You can call yourself whatever you like. I’m pretty sure nobody will care.

Americano75 · 05/09/2025 12:37

FrankieCranky · 05/09/2025 09:02

I’m absolutely not a fan of the Tennants. But some of the comments on this thread are quite difficult to read as someone with a child with autism and adhd. It isn’t easy to get a diagnosis - the process is rigorous and thorough. My DD doesn’t misbehave - there are times when she is dysregulated as a result of her neurodivergence, but there isn’t a way to parent our way out of this. More structure and routines wouldn’t have changed who she is and it isn’t a parenting problem.

I just think we should be careful not to let dislike of the Tennants and their attention seeking, brainless behaviour tip into wider prejudice about nd children (or their parents).

Hear, hear. Very well said!

TheGander · 05/09/2025 12:40

Beamur · 05/09/2025 08:55

This is a really mean thread. Speculating that they're poor parents because of a comment in a podcast. There's a genetic component to this so hardly surprising that several people in the same family could be affected.

I agree. Someone in the public eye has the audacity to go on the record about their kids and family arrangements and it’s followed by a ton of vitriol.

WitchesCauldron · 05/09/2025 12:43

I'm wondering why she is the subject of a podcast- apart from marrying David and having a famous dad- what has she actually done?

GobShy · 05/09/2025 12:43

YouCouldHaveASteamTrain · 05/09/2025 08:35

Five kids, one of whom is a they/them that she put on Instagram at the age of 9-10 wearing a "let's get things straight - I'm not" t shirt.

well, many children say they have boyfriends and girlfriends at that age. She may feel that she would prefer to have girlfriends.

Namitynamename · 05/09/2025 12:49

heldinadream · 05/09/2025 08:39

OK I read it so no one else has to.
They have 5 children, 1 of which is just hers.
Of the 5, 2 have food issues.
The number who are officially ND isn't specified, but it is more than the 2 who have food issues.
So given that several isn't all, they have either 3 or 4 ND children.
Disclaimer- I only skim read but I standby the facts I believe I digested.
If anyone comes along with different numbers I'm not arguing though.

To summarise: 5 kids, 3 or 4 ND, 2 with food issues.
Mum has food issues too by the way.
The End. 😂

Show quote history

You tackled that like it was one of those maths/logic puzzles.

Dogosaurus · 05/09/2025 12:49

Enough4me · 05/09/2025 08:43

The accounts of homelife sounds like dysfunctional family rather than neurodiversity.
When she says negatively that she previously worked to fit in, she misses that many of us do that. I don't regret working to fit in and yes I'd rather food types were separate but I will eat it if touching because I'm not going to make anyone else feel unhappy.
I spent time with my DC when young calmly practising meal times so the routine became normal. What a shame they didn't try routines first as the majority of their DC may have benefited and now they're all labelled (possibly incorrectly).

I know people who don’t like their food touching. When I prepare food for them, I just make sure it doesn’t, it’s hardly difficult. Why would it make me unhappy? I’d be more unhappy if I made them a meal that made them feel uncomfortable in some way.

For some children with food issues or that struggle to regulate their emotions, which can be made worse by meal times, practising meal times really doesn’t help. And do you really think people with children with food issues or that struggle to regulate their emotions haven’t tried and tried various things?

CinnamonCinnabar · 05/09/2025 12:50

SouthWamses · 05/09/2025 11:23

We also often procorate with families who also turn out to have ND conditions in them and depsite some MN think generally we do well acadmcially and generally okay to good in life.

There is nothing about ND conditions that is linked to doing well academically - other than the fact that articulate parents are more likely to get diagnoses for their children whereas inarticulate parents from deprived neighbourhoods are more likely to find their children with ND conditions labelled as ‘social, emotional and behavioural disorder’. Learning disability is a ND condition (as is very high IQ).

The fact that most people with ND conditions do generally okay in life is also why there is so much cynicism on MN (and another reason why lumping conditions together as ‘ND’ can be harmful).

Learning disability has many, many different causes and is not necessarily going to have anything to do with neurodiversity (whatever that incredibly vague term means). This and a previous post claiming Schizophrenia is a type of neurodiversity show how useless the term is - it's undefined and being used for an increasingly wide range of symptoms or conditions that may or may not have any links.

What does a teen with mild dyslexia have in common with an adult with LD due to Down's syndrome, or cerebral palsy, or a genetic developmental disorder?

ThePoshUns · 05/09/2025 12:53

Of course they do

Quackedout · 05/09/2025 12:53

She's a strange one herself, i read in the blind items that he wanted to just date around but she was determined and stalked him! She's meant to be very controlling. But after seeing them both, im guessing both are ND so naturally the kids will be.

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