I blame JKRowling

[RedToothBrush]

For shrinking the size of Monster Munch and shrinkflation generally.

Also the existence of belly button fluff

What do you blame her for?

I've got two large ones downstairs, but I'm scared if I try to go down to get one JKR will be lurking on one of the steps in the shape of a black cat waiting to help me break my leg.

I think she made it that none of the original three Potter kids were very good actors

I wondered if everybody could refrain from being helpful and useful, and sure nuff... thank you for the practical suggestion, Cake.
I'm sure JKR will make sure the sun never shines again now ever, just to thwart any solution to her 'permanent turmeric stain' evilness.😠

A guy who owns a carpet cleaning business once told me that the two things they absolutely can't get out of carpets are 1. Turmeric and 2. Irn Bru.

Bet JKR's dashing into folk's living rooms and tipping a can of the orange fizz on their best carpet, cackling as she does so.

And hides teaspoons down the sofa cushions.

JKR is messing around with navigation by moving the Magnetic North Pole around, just because she can, and because she loves seeing all those lost ships crashing into each other and sinking to the bottom of the ocean...

Reddit. I blame her for Reddit. And fruit flies on bananas.

I blame her for those times when you’re locked out of an account, so you click “forgot my password” and then when you try to enter a new password it says “The password cannot be your previous password” and you want to smash your keyboard up into tiny pieces

MarieDeGournay · Today 01:02
Turmeric.
JKR arranged it so that turmeric stains, such as the one on my best inherited white tablecloth, will never ever ever disappear. Evil beyond words.

I have had some success with lavender oil on turmeric or lily pollen stains on fabric - massage a few drops on the stain then rinse with water

If you spray something alkaline (like Elbow Grease) on the stain it will turn bright red, it's basically a pH indicator.
Starting my day with a pointless observation :)

Her ability to use emotions, empathy and logic in her reasoning.

Everyone else knows it’s better when people just have a feeling and then use that feeling to attempt to control other people’s thoughts and beliefs and leave pesky logic and any form of empathy right behind them.

It's definitely her fault that toast falls butter side down.

There's a plain smoked one in the range. Sainsbury's has that one.

In our house she always puts on the toilet roll on the holder the wrong way.
That's if she bothers to replace it at all.

Back in the days before disposables, I once got food colouring in my contact lenses¹ and had to send them to a specialist cleaning place in France. They said the only thing they couldn't get out of lenses was beetroot, but being French it's likely they'd never encountered Irn Bru.

¹ Definitely JKR'S fault.

She makes me spill food down my front all the time, especially when its a good top that ive just put on and that needs hamdwashed. There's probably a German word for it, and she wrote that too.

The interminable wait for the next Strike book is definitely her fault 😂 three/four days to go now

Cost of living crisis

if I didn’t have to buy the next book I might have a spare £20

She hasn't filled my car with fuel. Outageous.

I bet she has been using my car on her secret trips to Yorkshire as well, which is why the fuel is nearly used up. And its her who leaves sweet wrappers in there.

The magical disappearance of Batchelor’s Creamed Mushrooms. Why, Joanne, why?

ffs, stop dissing JKR, if you annoy her too much she could express her rage by delaying the release of Hallmarked Man and the wait has already been

TOO LONG.

It is entirely the great JKR's fault that I keep leaving the shops without the very thing I went to the the shops to get.

Yeah well I caught my sleeve on the door handle, her fault. What a cow.

But bra snacks, tho.
😋

Yes, I could have a copy by now if she had given us regulars here an advanced signed edition, but ohhhh no, she makes us wait until Tuesday like the rest of the plebs. Talk about selfish 🙄