I blame JKRowling

[RedToothBrush]

For shrinking the size of Monster Munch and shrinkflation generally.

Also the existence of belly button fluff

What do you blame her for?

Butter beer. Dobby the elf. Reading. Writing. Decent feminism. Pretty girls with red hair. Women over 50.

Giving me high cholesterol, because she knows I love cheese

Moved the coffee table so I stubbed my toe. Dreadful woman.

Making my dog's farts noxious. Before she came along, the whole family would gather round his butt hoping for a fragrant guff. Such an evil hag.

'Twas the they/thems that did that.

My cake didn’t cook properly I thought it was because I didn’t leave it in long enough I didn’t realise until now it’s actually all JKR’s fault.

She's not writing her adult detective series quickly enough. I've had to watch all of Silent Witness from the start and nearing series 20. She knows I never liked Harry Potter and the brats so personally has it in for me.
She's also created extremely noisy rain that's been falling for hours.
(However, I love her posts on X).

Same in this house with ice cream! It’s DEFINITELY her!

I’ve been giving some thought to this and now hold her fully responsible for my twins swapping beds at night and telling me that they are the other one! They’re 5 and I’m sure they couldn’t come up with such trickery themselves

😠

I blame her for owls. Owls didn’t exist until she invented them in her book, now the feathery fuckers are everywhere because pigeons wanted to identify as owls to be cool and there they are, cosplaying being owls. She has started a right kerfuffle.

These are good responses but none of them are long enough! I want at least 10 paragraphs.

There was a coconut Toblerone???
Obviously it's her fault that I didn't know about It and now it's too late!

I know I'm off topic, but I bloody love these type of threads about our Queen JKR.

(She ate most the chocs from my new box of Booja Booja chocs.

I only had one, the rest were on her, oh yes.)

She ate all the coconut Toblerone, I'm sure it was on a website somewhere as she's like that.

JKR ate my homework miss.

I am equally gutted to discover I did not know of the existence of a coconut toblerone until after it was discontinued.

Well the milk has gone off and it’s pissing with rain, so

She sends evil tailors into our houses to reduce the size of our clothes, so we think we’ve put on weight. Where does she get these people? Does she train teams of them?

Then we stop eating chocolate and ice cream for a few weeks, and when we break and try to buy them again she makes sure the shops have stopped stocking our favourite treats. Why does she do all these evil things?

She also spilt lasagne on my favourite T-shirt. No wonder she says she could paper the walls of her house with all the death threats she’s received. It’s not nice, JK.

I now fancy any type of toblerone, but I'm in bed, can't sleep, it's raining, the shops are closed - the lack of toblerone is definitely JKR fault. Especially that I will have to go out first thing to buy toblerone!

She's the reason I can't have nice things.

You won't be able to find any and it will be her fault along with getting soaked leaving the house.

Turmeric.
JKR arranged it so that turmeric stains, such as the one on my best inherited white tablecloth, will never ever ever disappear. Evil beyond words.

And Butter Beer is properly disgusting so there’s that

Sunlight! Hang it in sunlight. If JKR allows the rain to stop that is.

She encourages short people to recline their seats on short haul flights