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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking - Invoking Split Pea Annexe B

1000 replies

Magpiecomplex · 01/07/2025 08:01

Welcome all, pull up a gerbil and make yourself comfortable!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
172
EdithStourton · 14/07/2025 11:41

Marie, I remember (vaguely now as it was 35 years ago) something similar after my DM died (and that was not a good death: she was comparatively young, and she'd been ill and in pain for several years). For the first few months, I thought of her the second I woke up; gradually that moved further into the day - sometimes it was still first thing, sometimes it was mid-afternoon. Sometimes it was still many times a day.

Then the days came when, like you, I'd suddenly realise that I'd got to the evening before thinking of her. I still think of her most days, but usually she's just a presence - never quite not there, IYSWIM.

And grief never completely goes. It's that ball in the box analogy again - sometimes that small, hard, cold ball hits the side of the box and it just hurts so badly.

It is indeed a hard road, and it just carries on and on. But it does, very slowly, become on the whole an easier road, though sometimes there are some really horrible bits to work through. It's different for everyone, too. About the only positive thing about it is that you learn the measure of your own strength.

Britinme · 14/07/2025 13:49

My first husband died suddenly in a plane crash at the age of 54, when I was almost 51. We'd been together since I was 15 and married almost 30 years. I grieved for him then, and I remember and miss him still. However, much sooner than anybody (including me) might have thought likely, I met my present DH and we will have our 23rd wedding anniversary next month. It's not that I forgot my first DH - in fact I told second DH as straightforwardly as I could that I would talk about him and refer to him often, because all my adult memories of my life, as well as my three children, were part of our relationship. Luckily I have a wonderfully wise DH who has been perfectly OK with that. I did go into therapy for a while after I remarried - juggling the two things of grieving for DH1 and being happy with DH2 and also changing my country was tricky - and that helped a lot. Not everyone wants a second marriage but it has worked well for me. Luckily my children always liked DH2, and although he has always been clear to them that he doesn't think of himself as any kind of replacement for their father, he is there for them in a friendly and supportive way.

MarieDeGournay · 14/07/2025 20:45

After a long period of reflection on grief and loss Flowers
here's something lighter:
Work on the permanent Bluestocking has been slow, for a number of reasons, but it's making progress at last.
After Gelsomina pointing out to Capability Capybara that there seemed to be something missing - shouldn't there be two sticky-out thingies on the roof?
chimneys were duly added, and Gelsomina has just been up on the roof - with safety gear, and closely observed by Capability - to check that the flashing has been properly installed.

The Bluestocking - Invoking Split Pea Annexe B
The Bluestocking - Invoking Split Pea Annexe B
lcakethereforeIam · 14/07/2025 20:53

Capability Capybara 😃

Went out today, the weather has turned cooler, a bit rainy and very blowy. While we were having dinner we saw a small child in armour dress up. It surprised both of us that after midsummer the knights were still getting shorter.

It's still too warm for a coat.

JanesLittleGirl · 14/07/2025 20:54

MarieDeGournay · 14/07/2025 20:45

After a long period of reflection on grief and loss Flowers
here's something lighter:
Work on the permanent Bluestocking has been slow, for a number of reasons, but it's making progress at last.
After Gelsomina pointing out to Capability Capybara that there seemed to be something missing - shouldn't there be two sticky-out thingies on the roof?
chimneys were duly added, and Gelsomina has just been up on the roof - with safety gear, and closely observed by Capability - to check that the flashing has been properly installed.

That is looking truly awesome. Do the chimneys connect to internal fireplaces via flues or are they ornamental?

Boiledbeetle · 14/07/2025 20:57

MarieDeGournay · 14/07/2025 20:45

After a long period of reflection on grief and loss Flowers
here's something lighter:
Work on the permanent Bluestocking has been slow, for a number of reasons, but it's making progress at last.
After Gelsomina pointing out to Capability Capybara that there seemed to be something missing - shouldn't there be two sticky-out thingies on the roof?
chimneys were duly added, and Gelsomina has just been up on the roof - with safety gear, and closely observed by Capability - to check that the flashing has been properly installed.

I'm concerned that Gelsomina may not be properly attached to the guide line. It looks like it's round her neck.

Loving the detail though.

Can they call round and sort out the flashing around my chimney pot, the roofers did a poor job of sorting it when the slates were replaced the other year

MarieDeGournay · 14/07/2025 21:39

JanesLittleGirl · 14/07/2025 20:54

That is looking truly awesome. Do the chimneys connect to internal fireplaces via flues or are they ornamental?

Of course they connect to internal fireplaces via flues😏
That emoji is just perfect!
The real honest answer is .... ornamental. In fact there isn't a fireplace on the right of the building,so that chimney is doubly-ornamental

inkymoose · 14/07/2025 21:45

lcakethereforeIam · 14/07/2025 20:53

Capability Capybara 😃

Went out today, the weather has turned cooler, a bit rainy and very blowy. While we were having dinner we saw a small child in armour dress up. It surprised both of us that after midsummer the knights were still getting shorter.

It's still too warm for a coat.

A remarkable observation.

The Bluestocking - Invoking Split Pea Annexe B
inkymoose · 14/07/2025 22:03

Boiledbeetle · 14/07/2025 20:57

I'm concerned that Gelsomina may not be properly attached to the guide line. It looks like it's round her neck.

Loving the detail though.

Can they call round and sort out the flashing around my chimney pot, the roofers did a poor job of sorting it when the slates were replaced the other year

The plastering tabby cat overheard this conversation and decided that she would have a go, although it's not her area of expertise, but that's never stopped her before.

The Bluestocking - Invoking Split Pea Annexe B
ifIwerenotanandroid · 14/07/2025 22:05

@SionnachRuadh messaged you.

inkymoose · 14/07/2025 22:06

MarieDeGournay · 14/07/2025 20:45

After a long period of reflection on grief and loss Flowers
here's something lighter:
Work on the permanent Bluestocking has been slow, for a number of reasons, but it's making progress at last.
After Gelsomina pointing out to Capability Capybara that there seemed to be something missing - shouldn't there be two sticky-out thingies on the roof?
chimneys were duly added, and Gelsomina has just been up on the roof - with safety gear, and closely observed by Capability - to check that the flashing has been properly installed.

Just don't let the plastering cat have a go at it.

You know it's funny how these building projects always take three times as long as they're supposed to and cost four times as much. All things considered, the permanent Bluestocking seems to be going swimmingly!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 14/07/2025 22:11

I think I must've missed a page. Who's the plastering tabby (I mean, what's her name?) & what the blue blazes sort of a name is Gelsomina? I suppose it looks a bit floral, or it could be a typo for a sleep-related medical condition: Gelsomnia, perhaps, the inability to sleep due to using retro hair products.

Honestly, this place just gets weirder.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 14/07/2025 22:14

And I'm not even going to mention that ladder Boily got from Escher & Escher this afternoon.

inkymoose · 14/07/2025 22:28

ifIwerenotanandroid · 14/07/2025 22:11

I think I must've missed a page. Who's the plastering tabby (I mean, what's her name?) & what the blue blazes sort of a name is Gelsomina? I suppose it looks a bit floral, or it could be a typo for a sleep-related medical condition: Gelsomnia, perhaps, the inability to sleep due to using retro hair products.

Honestly, this place just gets weirder.

I refer you to p.18 of this thread, Android, after a visit from DustyWindowsills that evening:

SionnachRuadh · 08/07/2025 23:12

Of course if you have a cat plastering up the window that works nearly as well as a duster, and even better considering the cat is putting all the effort in.

inkymoose · 08/07/2025 23:51

SionnachRuadh · 08/07/2025 23:12
"Of course if you have a cat plastering up the window that works nearly as well as a duster, and even better considering the cat is putting all the effort in."

You have a cat that does plastering?

The Bluestocking - Invoking Split Pea Annexe B
inkymoose · 14/07/2025 22:31

ifIwerenotanandroid · 14/07/2025 22:14

And I'm not even going to mention that ladder Boily got from Escher & Escher this afternoon.

😁

well it was either that, or Boily emerging like some sort of larvae out of the brickwork just in front of the chimney. Give me Escher every time Confused

JanesLittleGirl · 14/07/2025 22:36

MarieDeGournay · 14/07/2025 21:39

Of course they connect to internal fireplaces via flues😏
That emoji is just perfect!
The real honest answer is .... ornamental. In fact there isn't a fireplace on the right of the building,so that chimney is doubly-ornamental

My interest is purely personal. I live in a lovely Arts and Crafts house. It has fireplaces and chimneys. It took a lot of work to join the two together. Happily, we discovered the problem before we lit a fire.

MarieDeGournay · 14/07/2025 23:58

JanesLittleGirl · 14/07/2025 22:36

My interest is purely personal. I live in a lovely Arts and Crafts house. It has fireplaces and chimneys. It took a lot of work to join the two together. Happily, we discovered the problem before we lit a fire.

Your house sounds lovely, and ..difficult.
A not-infrequent combination in humans as well as housesSmile

Android, Gelsomina is from Fellini's La Strada.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 15/07/2025 01:47

Android, Gelsomina is from Fellini's La Strada.

I'm a philistine, I admit it. I'd just worked out that Gelsomina is an angaram of Gsemolina, & thought, 'Of course! That's it - how very Bluestocking'.

Strada, you say. I had to look up & rewatch

Fiat Strada - Handbuilt By Robots (1979, UK)

from the days when ads were entertaining.

EdithStourton · 15/07/2025 09:52

JanesLittleGirl · 14/07/2025 22:36

My interest is purely personal. I live in a lovely Arts and Crafts house. It has fireplaces and chimneys. It took a lot of work to join the two together. Happily, we discovered the problem before we lit a fire.

There are some houses being built near us which have fake chimneys. When we noticed we were caught between horror and hilarity.

DeanElderberry · 15/07/2025 10:16

The permanent Bluestocking is so brilliant.

Saint Swithin's Day.

So Much Rain.

Chersfrozenface · 15/07/2025 10:33

Saint Swithin's Day.

So Much Rain.

Is it? Oh 'eck!

MarieDeGournay · 15/07/2025 10:38

EdithStourton · 15/07/2025 09:52

There are some houses being built near us which have fake chimneys. When we noticed we were caught between horror and hilarity.

Fake chimneys... I dunno... silly in principle, but when you see a cluster of new houses with bare roofs, they just look wrong somehow.

I suppose I have an image of 'A House' in my head, going right back to how you draw a house when you're 4 or 5, it always had four windows with four panes and it always had chimneys with a squiggle of smoke coming out of them..

I suppose I'm just living in the past, and I have to accept that only dinosaur's houses have chimneysSmile

EdithStourton · 15/07/2025 12:49

MarieDeGournay · 15/07/2025 10:38

Fake chimneys... I dunno... silly in principle, but when you see a cluster of new houses with bare roofs, they just look wrong somehow.

I suppose I have an image of 'A House' in my head, going right back to how you draw a house when you're 4 or 5, it always had four windows with four panes and it always had chimneys with a squiggle of smoke coming out of them..

I suppose I'm just living in the past, and I have to accept that only dinosaur's houses have chimneysSmile

Happy to be a dinosaur....
Winter = wood stove.
I paid a deposit on a load of wood at the weekend. This means that I need to tidy out the woodshed...

MyrtleLion · 15/07/2025 13:26

We have no chimney and we're part of a small development 10 townhouses. It looks fine. We're on the same street as some houses and cottages that must be around 150-200 years old that do have chimneys, but it all fits together really well.

Had a chest x-ray earlier. Completely unnecessary because it's to do with silent reflux, a hoarse voice and whether there's anything they can do. The omeprazole does nothing. But apparently they have to refer me along the cancer pathway, which means an x-ray to rule out lung cancer and a gastroscopy within two weeks to rule out stomach cancer. Though my brother died of stomach cancer 18 months ago, so you never know, but I am confident I do not have cancer.

Surely there must be a better way to phrase the referrals that doesn't have the potential to cause alarm? I am not alarmed at all, but I imagine other patients might be.

I love the real Bluestocking Arms! Capability and Gelsomina are awesome!

MarieDeGournay · 15/07/2025 14:48

That sounds very distressing, Myrtle, and I hope all the tests come back with good results. Sometimes doctors can sound almost gleeful when they come up with a remotely possible diagnosis - 'well of course it could be the bubonic plague..' without thinking of the effect it will have on the patient😠

Gelsomina [streetname G-semolinaGrin] and Capability are adamant that chimneys are the right thing for the Bluestocking - I overheard them at their tea-break saying things about 'aesthetics' and 'architectural consistency' and 'critical to the legibility of the structure as a spatial composition' .. which makes me wonder why just the other day they referred to chimneys as 'sticky up bits on the roof'.
I think they are cleverer than they are letting on and just play the role of cute little furry animals when we're around😦

I spotted this and as there are so many clever needlewomen here, I thought I'd share itSmile
Wool map of Ireland a great yarn for Co Wicklow friends

Wool map of Ireland a great yarn for Co Wicklow friends

A 12ft by 11ft wool map of Ireland, which took four years of knitting and crocheting to complete, is in search of a new home to go on public display.

https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/2025/0715/1523589-wool-map-of-ireland-a-great-yarn-for-co-wicklow-friends/

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