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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

“Why aren’t you getting changed”. Man asks female Darlington nurse this 3 times in female changeroom

664 replies

CrocsNotDocs · 11/05/2025 06:47

More details re the Darlington nurses. I don’t know what to say. This is outrageous. Just fucking outrageous.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14698557/I-begged-bosses-not-let-trans-nurse-invaded-changing-room-intimate-operation-refused-didnt-want-hurt-feelings.html

OP posts:
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22
ThatsNotMyTeen · 11/05/2025 14:39

Absolutely terrible

that poor woman

Thing is though - and to be clear I don’t think the Darlington nurses or Sandie Peggie are - EVEN IF PEOPLE ARE BIGOTS - they are STILL entitled for single sex spaces to be single sex!

Kinsters · 11/05/2025 14:43

RethinkingLife · 11/05/2025 14:12

Is there anything to be gained from writing to Wes Streeting, Baroness Merron, and our own MP to ask this and to argue for a near term revision to NHS policies?

Would this be a stronger or more effective show of support for Karen than writing to her?

Good idea. I've thrown my words into the void that is Wes Streeting's inbox.

idontwanttobestalked · 11/05/2025 14:44

WearyAuldWumman · 11/05/2025 13:59

I occasionally look at Reddit. I go there mainly for a specific language page.

My impression is that most of the posters there are in their teens or twenties. I live in the hope that they'll mature as they grow older.

This is true for many, but it's sometimes interesting to check users' posting history - plenty of clearly AGP/generally perverted males clutching their pearls at the evil terfs.

BaseDrops · 11/05/2025 14:53

KnottyAuty · 11/05/2025 14:36

Thank you for this.
The parallel between flashing as a gateway to larger offences and “we just want to pee” is really useful. Unless society calls time it will only be a few years before their an entire TRA squad in a women’s football team… there’s nowhere they won’t push into for their own purposes and don’t care about anyone else. Are the enablers completely context blind?

Funny you should mention football. Clapton FC’s women’s football team has 6 trans players
https://x.com/hecheateddotorg/status/1919972652027961691?s=46&t=MFE3h1-ZiFfww4Mj1KKWVg

NoisyLemonDog · 11/05/2025 14:53

Buffypaws · 11/05/2025 07:48

Seriously I’ve been in this game for years but WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

I feel the same. Words fail me.

What a truly brave woman Karen is. I hope that she sees the supportive comments here and elsewhere online. Thank you Karen and your colleagues. You shouldn't have to do this.

DungareesTrombonesDinos · 11/05/2025 14:54

StellaAndCrow · 11/05/2025 07:03

"She tells me that last summer, after legal papers had been served and after The Mail on Sunday had broken the story of the Darlington nurses, Karen needed an urgent hysterectomy, after years of problems with endometriosis. It was to be carried out at the Darlington Memorial – where everyone involved worked – but just a few weeks before the procedure she discovered, to her horror, that Rose was scheduled to be on duty in the operating theatre on that day, and would be part of the surgical team.

‘It was a gynaecological procedure, and his role would have been down at that end, passing the consultant the tools,’ she says, incredulous. She immediately pointed out the obvious (as she thought) issue here. ‘I told them that because there was a legal dispute under way, involving Rose, it was a conflict of interest, and entirely inappropriate that he should be involved in my surgery, especially intimate surgery like that.

‘Separately, there was the issue of my childhood abuse. I made it clear that I wanted as few men in that room as possible. I was told, “Well, Rose is a woman so Rose has a right to be there”.

‘The theatre manager also said, “How would Rose feel if she was asked not to come to theatre?”.’

Karen was dumbstruck. ‘I said, “Frankly, and sorry to be blunt, but I don’t care how Rose feels”. It made no sense. Shifts are changed all the time. They didn’t even have to tell Rose a reason, if they were worried about that.’

Karen escalated her complaint, putting her concerns in writing. ‘And I got an email back saying that they could not accommodate my request [for Rose to be replaced]. They said they would cancel the operation, and I could go elsewhere. I couldn’t believe it. I needed that operation, and I’d been with my consultant for years. After everything, I felt I was being punished. I said, “I am asking this as a patient”, but they didn’t care.’"

What the fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fuck has gone wrong in this world that ANYONE imagines that Rose being in the operating theatre for a GYNAELOGICAL operation is fine??????????

Helleofabore · 11/05/2025 15:01

Sorry if this has been already posted but this is Karen speaking on video.

Again, this is hard to hear. The details of her sexual assaults are horrific.

https://x.com/salltweets/status/1921484351964848258?s=46

https://x.com/salltweets/status/1921484351964848258?s=46

EsmaCannonball · 11/05/2025 15:11

I have utter contempt for all those people whose sympathy for female victims of sex crimes is calibrated upon their political allegiance to the male perpetrators. When Harvey Weinstein put women in the position where they had to strip in front of him or lose their jobs these people would be #MeToo-ing all over the story but turn the man into someone from their own tribe then the women become bitches for not doing what he wants.

These people don't have principles, they only have their politics.

Peregrina · 11/05/2025 15:18

I hope Darlington does the right thing and let the trans nurse change in a separate mixed sex disabled toilet or something like that as that seems the sensible option.

I don't. I want Darlington to tell him he's a man, and to stick with the men's changing rooms. And don't bring his sexual fetishes to the workplace.

ArabellaScott · 11/05/2025 15:18

ThatsNotMyTeen · 11/05/2025 14:39

Absolutely terrible

that poor woman

Thing is though - and to be clear I don’t think the Darlington nurses or Sandie Peggie are - EVEN IF PEOPLE ARE BIGOTS - they are STILL entitled for single sex spaces to be single sex!

Yes. As far as the EA goes:

A woman's personal political feelings are irrelevant.

The man's personal motivations are irrelevant.

Women have the right to single sex spaces for privacy, dignity and safety.

ArabellaScott · 11/05/2025 15:19

Doesn't matter if some people think a woman is nasty or disagree with her views.

Doesn't matter if the man is vulnerable or has the best intentions.

Men stay out of women's spaces.

marvbandit · 11/05/2025 15:26

This is a horrific story. Karen Danson is amazingly brave. I really want to understand why the BBC aren’t running her story. Almost as if women don’t matter.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 11/05/2025 15:29

Peregrina · 11/05/2025 15:18

I hope Darlington does the right thing and let the trans nurse change in a separate mixed sex disabled toilet or something like that as that seems the sensible option.

I don't. I want Darlington to tell him he's a man, and to stick with the men's changing rooms. And don't bring his sexual fetishes to the workplace.

Exactly.

As a disabled woman, I'm getting extremely fucked off at these blokes being chucked towards the 'mixed sex disabled toilets' as if that's the solution.

Anyway, the men don't want that. As we already know. They want to encroach on our spaces and make us feel uncomfortable.

Helleofabore · 11/05/2025 15:37

BaseDrops · 11/05/2025 14:53

Funny you should mention football. Clapton FC’s women’s football team has 6 trans players
https://x.com/hecheateddotorg/status/1919972652027961691?s=46&t=MFE3h1-ZiFfww4Mj1KKWVg

And for anyone reading that thread, here are more males in the FA teams.

https://x.com/hecheateddotorg/status/1920713618749878532?s=46

https://x.com/hecheateddotorg/status/1920713618749878532?s=46

BettyFilous · 11/05/2025 15:38

Puttinginthemiles · 11/05/2025 10:33

Am in awe of Karen, it must have taken so much courage to stand up to the trust, and so much more to go public with what happened to her. I'm livid that she has been abused all over again at the hands of a man.

What happened to her regarding her surgery is appalling. I used to work in theatres and we took the dignity of staff (and all our patients of course) seriously. All female teams for female staff undergoing surgery. Always. No students or anyone else who didn't need to be there, no other staff could pop in for anything. There wasn't a written policy, we didn't need one, it was done because it was the right thing to do. I can't believe her trust didn't afford Karen the same dignity. Or actually, maybe I can.

I once got rid of a male agency ODP on the spot because another member of staff said he was spending a bit too much time 'at the bottom end' one day in a gynae theatre. Yet now we have a man exposing himself to females and watching them undress, but the trust support the perpetrator. NHS-approved abuse. How has it come to this?

I can’t be the only one who read the Mail article and was unsettled to read ‘Rose’ works in theatre with sedated and unconscious patients.

MayMadness2025 · 11/05/2025 15:48

Why is this thread in feminism. Seriously these issues are too important to be hidden in a corner.

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 15:51

MayMadness2025 · 11/05/2025 15:48

Why is this thread in feminism. Seriously these issues are too important to be hidden in a corner.

Because if we put them in AIBU, people complain and ask for them to be put here.

MayMadness2025 · 11/05/2025 15:53

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 15:51

Because if we put them in AIBU, people complain and ask for them to be put here.

Complain about what exactly. This awful scandal should be talked about nit hidden.

MayMadness2025 · 11/05/2025 15:53

I saw it in trending

Treesarenotforeating · 11/05/2025 15:58

whst the flying fuck,
that is just outrageous
she can’t be scheduled somewhere else as it may hurt her feelings 🤬

CorvusPurpureus · 11/05/2025 16:00

What the actual mediaeval fuckery did I just read?! That poor, brave woman.

I keep thinking I can't get any angrier & then AngryAngryAngry

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 16:01

MayMadness2025 · 11/05/2025 15:53

Complain about what exactly. This awful scandal should be talked about nit hidden.

Complain about having to read about our rampant transphobia? Or just complain about having to read about more boring feminist stuff? Your guess is as good as mine.

ParentingRollerCoaster · 11/05/2025 16:01

This was never right... it should not have taken the Supreme Court Ruling for Journalists to report on it and it absolutely should not take it being reported in the press for the NHS to stand up for women.

Sheepslippers · 11/05/2025 16:05

I can’t add much to what has already been said but just wanted to add that I am fully behind Karen and the Darlington nurses. Why this court case is still going ahead is beyond me.

I wouldn’t bother sending any letters of support for Karen to any department of Darlington Memorial Hospital. I wouldn’t trust them not to accidentally lose them.