“Why aren’t you getting changed”. Man asks female Darlington nurse this 3 times in female changeroom

[CrocsNotDocs]

More details re the Darlington nurses. I don’t know what to say. This is outrageous. Just fucking outrageous.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14698557/I-begged-bosses-not-let-trans-nurse-invaded-changing-room-intimate-operation-refused-didnt-want-hurt-feelings.html

This needs to be in every newspaper and all over the BBC. When you think you’ve heard the worst bits of any of these cases, something else is revealed that’s even worse.

We don't know the background.

Even so! I would rather be alone forever than have a man like “Rose” in my life. Dear god.

From the article:
There is absolutely no suggestion that Rose – who has a female partner, with whom he was trying to start a family – intended to cause her physical harm on that day, in 2023, but she insists Rose’s (half-dressed) presence, and behaviour, felt menacing.

This isn't a quote. Does the DM use correct sex pronouns usually, or has this just 'slipped in'?

HR even wanted to give this man a further opportunity to abuse his colleagues.

The women were told it was Rose’s right to be in that changing room, and they could change elsewhere (‘they basically gave us a glorified cupboard,’ says Karen) if it was a problem.

‘Being told we needed to be “re-educated” was devastating,’ says Karen. ‘To make it worse they suggested that Rose should be the one re-educating us. Rose would be happy to do it, they said.’

I'm sure he would.

This.

They've called us all the names under the sun and wrung their hands over the feelings of men who want to access women's spaces.

They said we didn't want men in women's spaces because we were bigots and homophobes and 'probably racist'.

We shouldn't have to spell it out.

Women need our stuff back, for every reason that this article raises.

Any woman who's been the victim of indecent exposure or harassment or abuse will understand.

Karen, I'm so very sorry, and I'm in awe of how brave and strong you are. All my very best.

Remember. Anyone who says they are transgender is transgender. We have had this mantra drummed into our head for years.

I think we have to acknowledge that this is true because there are no biological or neurological markers for being transgender. It is only belief. And anyone can believe anything about themselves that they want.

I think that for too long some people have convinced themselves that having a male person with their penis and testicles removed included is somehow ok. But it never was. Because those people haven’t changed from being male people. Some people just like to think that rewarding some male people for removing their genitalia is an act of kindness.

bloody hell. What a brave woman she is. So angry at those who allowed this to happen

I read that and couldn’t believe how this person had been given so much power in which to harm women. The HR team needs ‘re-education’ by the sounds of it.

Also the HR regulatory bodies appear to be ideologically captured so the misinformation was being filtered top down as well. The ideological capture goes beyond the NHS and into regulatory authorities for professions as well.

There is no ‘pretending to be trans’.

We established that when women were forced to refer to their rapists as ‘he’.

Stonewall law starts with Hayley Cropper/Christine Goodwin/article 8, and quickly takes a left turn and argues that sex doesn’t exist anyway.

I don’t know if it’s even supposed to make sense.

From what I've read this morning I think there should be an enquiry into the HR department at Darlington. That sounds to me like deliberate abuse of an abuse survivor.

That's not just 'capture', that's sadistic. It's on purpose.

That was a hard read not just because of what this woman suffered as a child but also the cruelty of the NHS HR and leadership team in how they responded.

For me the absolute low point is telling her she would have to have her hysterectomy cancelled if she wouldn't accept this man being part of her nursing team during the operation. Just the complete lack of care for her as a patient is astonishing.

And Wes Streeting has had plenty of time to deal with this he needs to sort this out now in line with the law. Politicians are such cowards but even a politician should be able to see the right thing to do when it is this obvious

State-sanctioned abuse of women by a man. Totally and utterly unforgivable.

They say ‘Rose’ is ‘clearly’ not at fault, but the undercurrent is that that man is very much at fault. They just have to skirt on the edge of libel.

This is frightening. Genuinely frightening. I’m so sorry that Karen and her past trauma is being dragged through the press. I want to know where her rights were? Why Rose didn’t have the decency to step aside for a fellow human being in distress? Why did Rose matter more than Karen? In any other setting anyone asking why she wasn’t getting undressed by anyone would be clanging warning bells but not here. The situation around operation beggars belief. I’m sick to my stomach with having to watch women like Karen be publicly shamed and vilified just for simply wanting their privacy respected. Good luck and much love to you and all the quietly stalwart women in the same boat.

This was a hard read.

Karen should never have been put in a position to have to disclose this. She's very brave.

If this doesn't make people who have previously ignored the issue think "maybe this isn't right" then I don't know what will.

It is a powerful way to change the narrative from "those bigoted nurses". No, strong women who backed their colleague in something so clearly wrong. They are all incredible.

Exactly. It's beyond belief.

It’s not just Darlington. It is all NHS trusts. They were literally following written NHS policy. It is a disgrace, but everything that happened in Darlington is what NHS employees are instructed to do. Including the removal of healthcare from patients who object.

I cannot say this loud or often enough. This is not a bug. This is not some nasty HR department. This is not a random person out to get a bunch of nurses. This is endemic. It is built into every NHS policy that it can possibly be built into.

They knew she was distressed and they attempted to coerce her into accepting this man 'Rose' as part of her team of care practitioners.

That is way past a line. That sounds so chillingly deliberate. Was this one person?

'Rose' is almost immaterial in this situation. A patient has raised concerns about an HCP due to trauma and the hospital has tried to coerced her into accepting a situation that will further traumatise her. It's grotesque.

Reminds me of the Aimee Challenor carcrash https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/charity-criticised-handing-senior-role-20731388

So many people harmed by CSA and, in some cases, it explains a lot of the long hair name-change only-furry type trans presentation I think. Sad that they fo on to be abusers themselves like this guy.

So sorry it happened to Karen. Bad enough but to then be absued and triggered all over again in her workplace is almost beyond the pale. I hope the nurses win and she gets some compensation. Life and work is hard enough without this BS.

She's outed herself.

Because the man is afraid of being outed to other men.

The hypocrisy.

Exactly….the whole thing is shocking but this part is lunacy

It is very frightening - if that is the level of care shown to a member of staff who understands the system, how is everyone else being treated?

See, that's a far worse scenario than I'd imagined.

If this is genuinely all NHS policy then we are in a very dark place, and I'm not sure how we get out.

That was a shocking read. I stand with Karen.