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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

“Why aren’t you getting changed”. Man asks female Darlington nurse this 3 times in female changeroom

664 replies

CrocsNotDocs · 11/05/2025 06:47

More details re the Darlington nurses. I don’t know what to say. This is outrageous. Just fucking outrageous.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14698557/I-begged-bosses-not-let-trans-nurse-invaded-changing-room-intimate-operation-refused-didnt-want-hurt-feelings.html

OP posts:
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Waitwhat23 · 11/05/2025 08:17

I cried reading it too. They're all so brave.

The unexpected bit that really got me was Karen having to tell her kids, her son saying 'are you OK Mum?' and her reflecting that no-one at that NHS Trust (who knew that one of the women had been abused as a child) had ever asked if she was OK, or needed help, or advice or support. Just nothing.

But if the feelings of a man got hurt, it was all hands to deck.

b4t · 11/05/2025 08:19

This is so upsetting. Karen has been through so much and they just want to keep piling on to her trauma? I admire her strength but she shouldn't be in this position at all. I hope this nonsense comes to an end and everyone involved looks back at this time period with collective shame.

HermioneWeasley · 11/05/2025 08:20

I felt sick reading that

Letsummercommence · 11/05/2025 08:20

TheaBrandt1 · 11/05/2025 07:55

Found it moving the way the work colleagues are stepping up to support this lady. Wonder if they would have taken it this far if their colleague wasn’t so badly affected? They may have hated it but stoically put up with it which is the easier option in the current climate.

Absolutely.

Karen has been incredibly brave coming forward. How it takes a hideous history of childhood sexual abuse to even get the story listened to.
That it wasn’t enough to immediately get Rose out of the changing room was unbelievable.

But thank fuck they had Karen.

Clearly without her those poor nurses wouldn’t have had a chance.

CarefulN0w · 11/05/2025 08:24

Good point Xenia, about male confrontation seeking behaviour, whilst women [as a class] are socialised to collaborate.

This guy’s behaviour seems to be classic Auto Gungho Profile.

TakingMyChancesWithTheRabbits · 11/05/2025 08:25

Wes, you can "expect" trusts to obey the law all you like, but what we want to know is 1) how long are you going to give them to make sure their policies are lawful, and 2) what are you going to do if they don't?

Judellie · 11/05/2025 08:26

Unbelievable! Why is there never any concern for the women affected? Ridiculous that she was asked about his feelings, seems that never goes the other way!

tigger1001 · 11/05/2025 08:29

Merrymouse · 11/05/2025 07:46

One of the similarities with the Fife case is the appalling management - irrespective of the issues involved.

Just the existence of the legal dispute should have prevented Rose from being involved with Karen’s healthcare.

Exactly! That in itself should have been an automatic reason why they should have been excluded from the surgery.

I find it awful that a patient in an incredibly vulnerable position was asked to think about how the other person felt. And they threatened to withhold healthcare from her unless she complied.

VeraWangTea · 11/05/2025 08:29

Are you fucking kidding me! Disgusting.

Well done those brave women! And love to Karen for sharing her story to demonstrate the heart of this issue.

Motnight · 11/05/2025 08:30

Thank you, Karen.

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 08:31

tigger1001 · 11/05/2025 08:29

Exactly! That in itself should have been an automatic reason why they should have been excluded from the surgery.

I find it awful that a patient in an incredibly vulnerable position was asked to think about how the other person felt. And they threatened to withhold healthcare from her unless she complied.

Depriving patients of healthcare because they don’t play along with trans policies is standard NHS protocol.

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:31

Buffypaws · 11/05/2025 07:48

Seriously I’ve been in this game for years but WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

Same.

oh my fucking God.

And all these fucking people going out of their way to say this isn't Rosie's fault he's not a creep.

Yes it fucking IS and yes he fucking IS.

Bloke forces himself on unconsenting women, strips off and asks them why they're not doing the same??

That poor bloody woman.

The description of when she told her children about her childhood abuse brought to my eyes.

How brave do you have to be to force yourself into the spotlight to talk about the disgusting behaviour of one man, knowing that it's going rake up the all disgusting behaviour of another.

I really bloody hope that this will eventually give her some closure.

And if Wes Streeting doesn't shit or get off the fucking pot 🤬😡

Theeyeballsinthesky · 11/05/2025 08:31

TakingMyChancesWithTheRabbits · 11/05/2025 08:25

Wes, you can "expect" trusts to obey the law all you like, but what we want to know is 1) how long are you going to give them to make sure their policies are lawful, and 2) what are you going to do if they don't?

Exactly

its not a bug, it’s a feature!! They need to be instructed to comply with the law or risk fines/court

Dozer · 11/05/2025 08:33

The gynae surgery part is especially horrifying.

Duckyfondant · 11/05/2025 08:35

I hate that this woman has had to share this horrific part of her history with the world because her employer is morally bankrupt. She is very brave indeed.

dudsville · 11/05/2025 08:36

Thanks for this link. We know these stories exist, but it's so moving and inspiring when someone has the immense courage to go public in the way that Karen has.

Shame on everyone involved at every level that let it get that far.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 11/05/2025 08:36

But I thought it would be obvious if a man was just pretending to be trans for kicks and we would be able to deal with it….?

Oh, no. Back in the REAL WORLD Apparently we wouldn’t.

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:36

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 08:08

I cried reading it too. But I’m also SO beyond angry.

I have been reading NHS policy after NHS policy as part of our audit, and I hate to tell you all this, but in every single trust, everything that happened to the Darlington nurses would not only be possible, but obligatory.

And it wasn’t the fault of one rogue person in Darlington (or Fife, or whatever trust Jennifer Melle is at) HR, nor one person in management, nor even one small team of people that decided these policies. It is BUILT IN to every single NHS trust policy.

It is a parasite.

I hope the EHRC take all of this into consideration when formulating their statutory guidance.

Marylou62 · 11/05/2025 08:39

Adding my voice to say 'Thank you Karen from the bottom of my heart' for being truly brave enough to tell your story to help other women and girls...
And for your colleagues who put their heads above the parapet to support you and protect others.
Thank you..

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:39

Letsummercommence · 11/05/2025 08:20

Absolutely.

Karen has been incredibly brave coming forward. How it takes a hideous history of childhood sexual abuse to even get the story listened to.
That it wasn’t enough to immediately get Rose out of the changing room was unbelievable.

But thank fuck they had Karen.

Clearly without her those poor nurses wouldn’t have had a chance.

Yes, thank fuck for Karen ❤️

ZepherinDrouhin · 11/05/2025 08:44

Then you hear that the NHS is running out of money & hard choices have to be made regarding people's treatments.

Well, how about ditching the illegal adherence to gender ideology? How about stop wasting public money on expensive ideological agendas & legal proceedings.

The NHS should return to its original purpose of providing healthcare & also being a decent employer for all its staff, not just a small minority.

Angelabdc · 11/05/2025 08:45

One thing I'd take from this awful story is that the nurses themselves have been a tremendous support to Karen. Their solidarity and friendship is really heartening to read about.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 11/05/2025 08:46

It is institutional capture through and through. Disgusting, and shame on all those who supported it. And even still do - it beggars belief.

ExpressCheckout · 11/05/2025 08:48

Time for NHS managers to be held accountable and publicly shamed, just as we are beginning to see with the Letby inquiry.

I'd like these mealy-mouthed bureaucrats at Darlington to be named and made redundant. Why is Wes Streeting doing nothing?

It's not just immigration - it's stuff like this that are making people turn away from Labour in droves. Even Kemi has got this right.

TheaBrandt1 · 11/05/2025 08:51

There’s something very moving about a group coming together to back the one that is hurt.

Going to court is tough and horrible Dh is a litigator his whole job is avoiding court its a last resort when negotiations fail it’s really stressful.