Facepalm of the morning 🤦

[Dinosaurlover]

Want to lose weight faster? Be non binary! 😂

Good news for us ladies, I was looking about calorie deficits to lose weight and came across this. Did you know that non binaries are able to eat more calories and still lose weight than us more women? 😂😂

Off to declare myself theyself and gorge on cake!

Two bars, because Gemini, natch.

Can't you just have a trans identity of trans-weight?

Surely there is one.

Therefore it doesn't matter how many calories you eat at all.

Kendal Maintly Cake?

Surely as a they you get his AND hers allowance, and can stick 2,700 calories away. Have your fucking nonbinary cake and eat it!

Eat it twice.

I don't think it's as simple as that. It's a very complex and special identity You need to work out which bodyparts are male and which are female. Then you need to figure out the relative calorific requirements for each body part and then add them up.

Mind you, by the time you've it all worked out, you've probably starved to death so at least you've lost weight.

Yay I'm Sagittarius, I can eat like a horse!

Half a horse.....

But you can shoot your opponent with your arrow for their dinner so full scran for you.

Which half? Eating like the back end of a horse doesn't sound so appealing somehow.

This thread! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ah I'm virgo, sheeeite.

Wasn't there an utterly bonkers MN thread once about how centaur gestation and babycare would work?

To be fair, this calorie system makes as much sense as any "non binary" stuff does.

And the flag's shite too.

This has to be the best news all year. If I identify as a man I get a pay rise, and I can eat more.

I've identified both my lunchtime mac and cheese and my dinner time duck breast out of actual my physical form so I am now Kate Moss. A lot of things taste as good as virtual skinny feels, as it goes.

0h I had a wonderful meeting where my Head of department looked round the room, and said we weren't quorate as there wasn't a woman present. As a founding member of the committee, albeit the secretary, but the person who had wider knowledge than them and signed off on the budget, I said 'ah in which case I'd like my 19% pay rise'

Everyone in the room, all male professors , laughed. I knew exactly what he meant, we were missing a female professor, but after 15 years I wasn't having it. In his defence he laughed, and was also a great boss bar that, had my back every time I needed it. I was just feeling chippy that day.

Less bonkers than this tbh.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/4864410-i-have-a-question-about-centaur-babies

Half a horse.....

I think it was established in the Narnia books that centaurs take a lot of feeding because they a full amount of human and horse food.

You'd rather eat the ears and the lips? Oh no hang on ... that's the human part ...
Neeeigghh!

ArabellaScott · Yesterday 20:20

Eating like the back end of a horse doesn't sound so appealing somehow.

But eating the back end of a horse is very enjoyable. Here's a picture of some:

A vegan Saggitarius could shoot their own veggie kebabs.

Brings to mind the haggis herds grazing on the mountains in the Beano.

Please can Everyday Health rewrite every page to include a Non-Binary bit? It'd be hilarious.

Like how does a non-binary person get pregnant? According to Everyday Health, as they really are a bit of both, I presume they can do the job themselves!