Child excluded for using a ‘dead name’.

[OhForTheLoveOfMoney]

I keep my GC credentials close to my chest but a friend has just told me this and I am so furious I had to share here. (I NC’d for anonymity as this is not my DC).

My friend’s DC has a friend that they have known since primary school. This friend has is now non-binary and changed their name. My friend’s DC, in all innocence, has used the name they have known their friend as for their entire life and has been excluded for dead naming and it has been cited as a hate crime.

FFS.

In a nutshell 😂

There is no such thing as a ‘dead name’, just as ‘non binary’ also isn’t an actual thing. Humans are either male or female and cannot change categories. We are talking about children here. Social transitioning is harmful, as we all know from the Cass report. As children, many of us would have played around with different names / nicknames - this child is doing the same. By using the terms ‘deadname’ and ‘non binary’ we are promoting a belief in gender ideology.

The op is claiming that this was an accidental slip of the tongue between friends which resulted in a Draconian punishment. That's the bit people aren't finding credible.

I can actually imagine many schools wouldn't accommodate a gender critical child taking the stance you've described and may well end up punishing them. I simply don't believe a slip of the tongue is punished though.

I'm GC too. But I would eat my suffragette flag if this happened.

Also, I have just noticed that the child concerned is "certainly no angel". This is always one of the reddest of red flags.

😂💜 💚

Exactly, these stories seem to never actually make it to the pressure.

If it is anything like the the Irish Enoch Burke story thrown at me thousands of times. He is imprisoned for contempt of court and trespass, but seemingly it is all a "cover up" and nothing to do with his toddler tantrums in court.

It honestly did happen. How I can prove it I don’t know.

I thought that there would be support here, but because a child isn’t perfect they aren’t deserving of any support. Thanks for that.

No, it's not because the child isn't perfect. No child is.
What we're questioning is the level of punishment for an alleged "slip of the tongue".

So, to be clear; the wrong name was accidentally used, and the unwitting child had an internal exclusion, is that right?
How long for, and what happened at the parental meeting?

I don’t know how long the internal exclusion is for. I work in primary and didn’t realise that internal exclusion and exclusion were two different things, we only have exclusion.

At the meeting the parents were told that using a deadname is classed as a hate crime in the school and as such treated the same as using racist language.

My daughter is a teacher. A few weeks ago she witnessed a young boy - year 8 - being taken out of class and really yelled at for " being transphobic". I'm not sure if he was sent to isolation or not.

There are a small handful of fervent activist teachers in many schools - teaching nonsense and disciplining children for 'wrongthink'.

I really dislike it when people question the veracity of posts in this way. Why on earth would you make it up? Says more about them, than about you I suggest.

OP the problem is that so many people come on here saying 'I'm as GC as they come but...' and then post utter gubbins and then race back to Twix with screenshots as to how evil the FWR frothers are.

That would very much depend on the teacher. Some teachers are very much activists on this matter. I used to be a teacher myself, and my daughter currently is. 'Trans' wasn't a thing at all when I left in 2010 - nobody had heard of it; but it now very much is with activist teachers running LGBTQ+ lunchtime clubs and disciplining children for supposed 'transphobia'.

I don't believe the op is making up a lie.

I do think she's got or is giving half a story.

She says herself that she assumed an internal exclusion was the same as an exclusion so she's got that much wrong already - and that's a big important bit of the story to get wrong.

She is also relaying the mother of the excluded child's version of events. Do we really think that's an unbiased account? The op is not directly involved in anyway so this is third hand information.

As I say, I have kids with friends who identify as non-binary. They don't care about shit like this if it's clearly an accident. In fact we were talking last night about a teacher who for years after their name was changed, kept using a kids old name. This was something that provoked a sigh and an eye roll. No complaints, no claims of hate crime.

People who change their names need to understand they can't change history. All their past communications and experiences with others don't disappear because going forward they want to use another name.

Your thread title is very misleading. There are major differences between internal and external exclusions. Some schools use them for things like not turning up with the right equipment. This thread is pretty ridiculous.

I hate that phrase of Dead naming.
Dd (teen) and I were talking about something completely different and she used it.
I told her it's a horrible thing to say. So and so's name was lovingly chosen at birth by her parents, saying it's her dead name is very sad and hurtful to the parents. She suggested we say previous name. Lots of people change name for various reasons and have a previous name, not just people who decide to change gender.
I hope your friends DC is OK.

But even being internally excluded or put into isolation is an over the top measure for supposed 'transphobia'. Children who are excluded in such a way end up missing out on school trips and similar.

Again, if the boy and the person that he 'dead named' have been friends for all these years, why did the friend react so badly to a forgetful slip of the tongue? That's the bit that makes me think there's more to it. A good long term friendship would forgive an error. So I do wonder if it was more then 'just a mistake'.

I imagine it isn't the person but the teacher that would be at the bottom of this.

This could happen in the UK if multiple bullying events had gone on. This parent is bullshitting or is delusional about their child's issues.

In which case a good friend would presumably say to the teacher "he just forgot, it's no problem!" and stick up for his friend.