Using sex-based pronouns instead of their preferred gender-ID pronouns

[DuesToTheDirt]

Has anyone ever done this? What happened?

I mean for people you know in real life, not on the internet, and for adults not children.

I would love to do this, though I don't suppose I will. But I feel that by saying "she" to refer transwomen I am being forced into a lie, that I am agreeing to someone's delusion. I try to avoid using pronouns, but realistically that just results in either not talking about certain people (which is definitely one strategy!) or using really convoluted language. It's all very well being "kind" to people, but it's certainly not kind on me.

I work for a company that has several offices in different locations and during one teams meeting a manager was thanking various people for bits of work they have done and when she got to “Jane” this usually fast speaking confident manager was stumbling over her words trying not to use any pronouns, so it went like this “and thank you to Jane for all your hard work on X project, Jane did X, Y, Z and Jane achieved X outcome and Jane did Y and Jane worked with Z, so thank you for being the person who did that” and I thought it sounded really weird then I later found out that “Jane” used to be Steve and dressed for the office like Freddie Mercury in the I want to break free video and it suddenly made sense.

I'm mostly circumspect, but do 'misgender' a particular type of TW - the ones with long hair and a pronoun badge who don't otherwise make much effort, and whom I suspect of being not even (acronym), but misogynists who enjoy mocking women and invading their space.

I don't have anyone like that in my day to day life, and if I did I think we would be in a state of psychological warfare.

How do these people get through life?

And why is it ok to compel people to lie?

I think people should be respectful of other's choices.

I think people should be respectful of others' position as members of an oppressed sex-class.

I don't really believe in gender ideology. People should be respectful of that.

I use sex based pronouns. I ain't going to change. I call it "bringing my whole self to work".

I'm not going to respect anyone's 'choice' to tell me how I should speak.

the idea that our true and inner self (soul) is contained in a vessel of mortal flesh which must be mortified for the sake of the soul.
This is deeply heretical, though, and very anti catholic,

https://insight.org/resources/article-library/individual/mind-over-matter-the-heresy-of-gnosticism-both-then-and-now

I do too. I choose to use sex based pronouns and expect others to respectful of that.

I have a family member who is a transwoman. I don't believe that her biological sex can be changed because she will always have XY chromosomes (I haven't voiced this opinion to my relative or her immediate family, there's no reason to), but I'm happy to refer to her as female and use she/her pronouns, because that's what she wants to be known as. I'd be the same for any trans person I know.

Whilst you are giving away our language, are you also happy for this male to turn female changing rooms mixed sex? To be recorded as female on data collection forms, in medical research, and when assessing whether services address the needs of women? Are you happy to be defined by your body parts (‘person with a womb’) rather than as a woman? Are you ok with women to miss out on vital public health screening because the convoluted language now needed to make it clear what sex it applies to? For you relative to take the place of women in women’s sport? For a raped woman to be told her counsellor is a woman when really he is a man? Or if she insists on a female counsellor to be told the service is no longer available to her?

You may be happy with this, but you do not get to consent for me, my sisters, my mum, or my daughters.

@drspouse Apologies to all the Catholics I've accidentally offended by lapsing into the heresy of Gnosticism.

.... educate myself .... do better... etc.

Glad to be of service!

Is he aware that you don't actually believe that he's a woman?

You realize there are many trans people who agree with you right?

You can accept someone as a trans person while still wanting the above to be respected.

It's not one or the other. It doesn't have to be.

Most trans people know they are not biologically women or men. My trans partner is well aware he is trans. I don't believe he is a biological man nor does he.

I feel like the loudest voices on either side are the ones that get attention and media rather than the majority just living a regular life. At that a small tiny percentage of the population.

Of course there are assholes who are trans, just like their are terrible biological men and women.

If he identifies as a transman, then yes those are his pronouns.

Do you know any transmen who want to be referred to as they or she?

If you think they are nonbinary that's different. Some people accept all pronouns. Either way if he says he's a man he/him will be acceptable.

I am the OP for this comment. I said the person was a trans man but actually I don't know as I have not had that conversation. All I know is the person is a biological female who uses a male first name (that is never a woman's name) and wears a suit. So I am assuming they are trans and/or don't want to be known as she/her. Maybe I'm wildly wrong. "They" seems safer. It's a minefield.

When did I say I was consenting to any of your points for you or your family? I was just pointing out that I would use her preferred pronouns.

As I said in my post, I haven't voiced that opinion. What would it achieve? She's not going to go back to identifying as male because of me telling her that, and I have more respect for her than to do that. I'm more than happy to refer to her as a woman, because that's what she wants and I accept my relative for who she is. She identifies as female, so I refer to her as such and call her by the name she chose for herself.

Why?

Because that's what she wants and I have no objection to doing so. Simple as that.

Why do you uphold this individuals fantasy and the harm it causes to women? Why do you respect that sort of behaviour?

So you ARE consenting to the harms to women I outlined. You have no objection to the harms caused. You prioritise this males wants above the rights of women.