So apparently I am a hateful bigot. Who knew?!

[NoChanceYouMetalBastard]

This has been playing on my mind since it happened. In a pub on Thursday night just gone. Very old building - toilets not great. No separate mens/ladies. Go through one door and there are 3 cubicles for all. Everyone has to queue together in this very small space. Big queue - a 6 foot 4 ish man with a beard wearing a flowery blue dress and lipstick, who was stood behind me, suggested that we speed things up by "us girls" going in together. I refused. That led to a tirade of abuse including that I was a hateful old bigot and it was known that 'girls' always shared a loo. Obviously he told all his pals at the table he was sat at, and they loudly discussed my transphobia until I necked my drink and left. It has been bothering me ever since! Just sharing/venting more than anything.

If a bloke wants to call you names for refusing to take your pants down and pee for him in an enclosed space, then he can crack on with that, OP. It's the new 'frigid!' from blokes that women would not touch with a bargepole for bloody good reason. Largely that said blokes regard them as walking sex toys.

We all really have to grow much, much thicker skins and stop questioning ourselves for not kindly indulging what is bloody awful behaviour signalling that the bloke in question is as far from trustworthy and/or relationship material as you can get. No special exemptions for this based on the bloke's particular gender identity at the time.

So some trans person you don't know asks to share a toilet with you and you are a bigot for saying no. I'd say no too. She's a perve!

Forget it. Nothing stranger than folk!

That sounds awful. I'm sorry that happened to you and well done for refusing.

While it's easy to be clever after the fact (especially when it didn't happen to you), I'd be tempted to play him at his own game and say something like

'How dare you assume my gender identity without first verifying with me? I'm actually a man you, hateful bigot! I'm going to report you to the venue and the police for this egregious hate crime.'

Sorry this happened to you OP. I can imagine the type of bar it is in that city. Quite a few shops/ offices in historic streets were converted to pubs this century. The developers could have made 2 (or 3) sets of loos but went for the cheap option that maximised drinking space. Compare that to the toilet provision in say The 3 Tuns - genuine old pub. Perfectly possible to achieve separation of sexs.

Even though we all do this, it’s probably not productive to think about what you could have said apart from the obvious ‘why would I share a toilet with a man?’. This person picked on you, you’re under no obligation to respond in any way.

He probably thought you were a soft target, and the reason he did is because it has become acceptable to bully women of a certain age (so-called ‘Karen’s). At the very least, this was sexually tinged bullying of a random stranger.

She's a perve!

HE!

This.

He is likely to do this again at some point and it would be wise to get him reported from now.

These strange stories keep coming out.

A family friend had an experience very recently with a TW taxi driver in Kent. It was late at night, the taxi driver had come to collect him but due to crossed wires, wouldn't accept he was the customer until he called the taxi company to confirm. Bloke got in the taxi, only to reappear minutes later with a mark on his throat. The driver had grabbed him by the neck and scratched him. He was in a state of shock. But he daren't report it because it'll be his word against the driver, and he could end up being accused of transphobia. It seems he said something critical about the mix-up, and the driver attacked him.

IMO you should let the venue know that a man was making you uncomfortable and describe what happened, the fact that they were wearing stereotypical female clothing is irrelevant. When you speak to the pub there’s no need to say that you assume it was a ‘transwoman’. Just describe what you saw.

I’d ask the venue to put up ‘One person per cubicle only’ signs.

Most of the patrons will think it’s to prevent drug taking or shagging only the beardy-weirdy will suspect it’s because of ‘her’.

He was a vile man in womensface pushing his wants and ignoring women's needs. There appear to be a growing number of these 'trans' women. They pop on a frock and lippy and shove real women aside.

Ignore him, stand up to him, others are waking up to the vileness that is an entitled man in as dress in womensface.

It never occurred to me until reading this thread that men might think that women going to the loo together means they are going into the cubicle together. I suppose it’s kind of understandable in that men going to the loo together does mean that they are peeing side by side at the urinal. Fascinating.
In the situation that the OP was in, with “unisex” toilets, the only man in the cubicle with me would be DH, and only if necessary (why would it be?).

Ffs now they want to be in the cubicle with us??? If you're a bigot for not wanting a massive hairy strange man in with you then sign me up for bigot club

There are more of these stories coming out since lots of pervert men realise that be dressing in a frock they can demand space near women who are using the loo, changing for swimming, sports, clothes shopping, gives the weirdos a chance to perv and all deemed 'perfectly acceptable' by the handmaidens and lots in society who have swallowed the cult ideology that men who 'feel' they are a woman actually are....

Because to do so would cause cries of bigot and transphobe which to some in society is literally worse than murder. There is a huge thing about anyone who says they are trans is and we all have to believe them and take part in their lies. More and more sane people are calling it out. However, a significant number will call you transphobic if you don't buy into the lie, allow access to toilets and changing rooms etc.... university students have really swallowed the trans ideology pill in many areas and have a hissy fit if anyone suggests that you cannot actually change your biological sex - madness has taken over currently.

Because some people who follow the ideology will have nothing said against anyone who says they are trans using the trans term to actually perv on women and girls. It's proven that in prison a very high percentage of trans women are sex offenders against women... but who listens to facts in the ideology

Yes. Any woman who is gagging to get her kit off and pee in front of random males is more than welcome to. Her body, her choice, her serious boundary issues/interesting sex life.

She can do it in a third space with those males though and leave other women alone.

What on earth?! First of all, what woman shares a cubicle with a female they don't know??! That's just not a thing I've ever heard of! Personally I wouldn't even share with one I did know!

And what woman in her right mind would ask a stranger to share one with her?! And then be offended if they didn't want to??

Why didn't the others explain that was a really, really weird thing to do instead of joining in with the name-calling? Wtf is wrong with these people?!

🤔
YOU were the hateful, dangerous hag.
for not wanting to share an intimate space with a lad in a dress?!
Bloody hell. We live in the time of Idiocy.

It's so surreal, insane and triggering, that it can only be a trolling function.

What woman would say yes to this request? Not even the most trans friendly trans maiden would say "sure buddy/buddyess, c'mon join me, let's piss away with trans abandon!"

And this perp knows this. Thus he has a bunch of women who are constant victims and targets in his misogynist tirade against the female sex class. And his friends are in on it, or more likely if some are female are tested internally but maintain the face of the mob...groups of bullies always have reluctant members.

It's just the thrill of the troll. And the more you can threaten and troll women in public, the more thrilling it is.

Ditto the erection-bearing, latex-wearing lay-dee at that lesbian speed dating event. Different individual perp, different individual victims...same warp, same effect.

My GF some years back came across a flasher walking home across the park. "Touch it, and I'll go away" was the demand. She didn't react the way he wanted. Back then, this was unacceptable. My point is that this incident in the pub is not different in any meaningful way. Yet had the police got involved, my GFs flasher would have been dealt with, this pub perp would have got kind words and a pat on the back.

Different eras, different attitudes.

"Touch it, and I'll go away" was the demand. "
I hope she replied "Sorry, I left my secateurs in my gardening apron. Fuck off"

Listen, she learnt from the best...her bold as brass big sister.

On the tube in the 80s, she was travelling home from a big supermarket shop, when a fella got his groin in way too much close proximity to her thigh.

She shouted him to back the fuck off. He was strangely hard of hearing. Must have been all those moaning and panting sounds he was making.

Next thing, she swings her shopping bag at him, the frozen leg of lamb she was carrying broke his arm really sweetly.

At the next stop, as the perp is moaning and groaning in pain, telling British Transport Police that she's a danger, they quietly tell him they'll throw the book at him if things go forward.

Can you imagine the same scene today? Different reaction, ya think?

Certainly it must be, otherwise the pub perve in this story could not act so unhesitatingly brazenly in his toxic "request".

How odd . Wearing a dress and lipstick sporting a beard ! I think he was just trying to be controversial and enjoys stirring the pot by asking you to share a loo . He knew damn well what your reaction would be . He's just a sympathy/ attention seeker.

Creepy person. He is probably having 'days of being a girl' and thinks we do things like this - pillow fight over the sinks, maybe? Venue should do something about its loos.

It is odd how GC feminists have all these dodgy encounters with transwomen whilst the rest of us hardly ever even see them.

It's almost a case of speak of the devil and he will appear.