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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

So apparently I am a hateful bigot. Who knew?!

188 replies

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 21:59

This has been playing on my mind since it happened. In a pub on Thursday night just gone. Very old building - toilets not great. No separate mens/ladies. Go through one door and there are 3 cubicles for all. Everyone has to queue together in this very small space. Big queue - a 6 foot 4 ish man with a beard wearing a flowery blue dress and lipstick, who was stood behind me, suggested that we speed things up by "us girls" going in together. I refused. That led to a tirade of abuse including that I was a hateful old bigot and it was known that 'girls' always shared a loo. Obviously he told all his pals at the table he was sat at, and they loudly discussed my transphobia until I necked my drink and left. It has been bothering me ever since! Just sharing/venting more than anything.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 19/08/2023 22:31

Fucking hell. How intimidating for you.

JanesLittleGirl · 19/08/2023 22:32

Why did he have a problem with the queue for the ladies loo when he was a man?

Apollo441 · 19/08/2023 22:33

If a bloke not in a dress suggested he come in a cubicle with you how would you react? So why is it not sexual harassment because he's wearing a dress?

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:33

JanesLittleGirl · 19/08/2023 22:32

Why did he have a problem with the queue for the ladies loo when he was a man?

There are no separate mens/ladies. It is literally 3 cubicles for all.

OP posts:
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:34

Apollo441 · 19/08/2023 22:33

If a bloke not in a dress suggested he come in a cubicle with you how would you react? So why is it not sexual harassment because he's wearing a dress?

I completely agree with you I just don't think that the pub can do anything.

OP posts:
pontipinemum · 19/08/2023 22:44

Does he think that women who don't know each other regularly go into the actual toilet cubicle together? That is so weird. I shared a cubicle a few times with friends when I was a teen and we first started going out drink but I really don't know why and wouldn't share with my closest friend now!

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:45

pontipinemum · 19/08/2023 22:44

Does he think that women who don't know each other regularly go into the actual toilet cubicle together? That is so weird. I shared a cubicle a few times with friends when I was a teen and we first started going out drink but I really don't know why and wouldn't share with my closest friend now!

It's all the playing at womanhood bollocks (literally).

Sleepovers with pillow fights - check.
Handing out tampons - check.
Sharing toilet cubicles with your gal pals - check.

OP posts:
ASoapImpressionOfHisWifeWhichHeAte · 19/08/2023 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:46

Again - why would I make it up? I am usually a reader on this board, not a poster. Simply because I am still learning. I've wanted to post since it happened. Yet apparently I am making it up?

OP posts:
Cucucucu · 19/08/2023 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

See above.

OP posts:
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:48

God I give up. I am so bored on a Saturday night that I am making up things that happened to me three days ago. Clearly because I am a hateful bigot. Oh, and a hag too.

OP posts:
ReginaRegina · 19/08/2023 22:51

I can't think of many toilet cubicles where two people can fit simultaneously. Especially not if one is a massive bloke.

Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?

BlackJumpsuit · 19/08/2023 22:52

I believe you OP. Ignore them.

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:53

ReginaRegina · 19/08/2023 22:51

I can't think of many toilet cubicles where two people can fit simultaneously. Especially not if one is a massive bloke.

Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?

No, I definitely did not misunderstand a man suggesting to me that we shared a toilet cubicle to speed up the queue for others.

I will say again - the pub is in a very old building. The toilets aren't standard. Two small-ish cubicles. One larger one.

Have I mistakenly posted in AIBU or something??

OP posts:
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:53

BlackJumpsuit · 19/08/2023 22:52

I believe you OP. Ignore them.

Thanks Smile

OP posts:
RufustheFactualReindeer · 19/08/2023 22:55

A thread a few weeks ago was deleted because of the troll hunting

i don’t think thats fair

Thislittlepiggywent · 19/08/2023 22:57

Next time: “I thought we were in the pub - there are no girls here, only adults. Adults usually prefer some privacy in the toilet….”

Optional addition: (only if the next person in the queue is a guy, ideally one built like a brick shithouse) “Perhaps the person behind you would be happy to share though?!”

Alternatively (curious and innocent tone): “Did you want to see me do a poo?”

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:57

I've been on MN, on and off, since 2003.

As I mentioned, I rarely post on FWR because I am still learning and am usually left speechless by the intellect of the posters here. So I read, and digest.

I posted because it has been playing on my mind since Thursday. Nothing more.

OP posts:
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:58

Alternatively (curious and innocent tone): “Did you want to see me do a poo?”

I wish I had said that!! Grin

OP posts:
ColinTheGenderMinotaur · 19/08/2023 22:58

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:53

No, I definitely did not misunderstand a man suggesting to me that we shared a toilet cubicle to speed up the queue for others.

I will say again - the pub is in a very old building. The toilets aren't standard. Two small-ish cubicles. One larger one.

Have I mistakenly posted in AIBU or something??

You are in trending!

So apparently I am a hateful bigot.  Who knew?!
mtw · 19/08/2023 22:58

Sick

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 19/08/2023 22:58

Oh god. I might have to namechange to HatefulHag or something.

OP posts:
RealityFan · 19/08/2023 22:59

Excuse my denseness, but how does this save time? You still have to use the toilet one at a time. I hate to be coarse, but how does standing idly next to the person in full flow save time overall?

I'm afraid this is a porn addled fantasy scenario. Or at the very least, good ol' fashioned male expectancy and superiority.

And to think he has his trans maidens acolytes and shrews fussing about him, spitting venom to anyone, especially other women, who dare dissent.