Tunnocks

[thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch]

I have seen it quoted on here for many years that Tunnocks are to be supported as they support women's rights. I have looked on their website and social media and can see nothing to support this rumour. Does anyone have any evidence? Thanks.

You could have lifted the caramel wafers tin off the logs and snowballs tin and then moved the Teacakes off the........

Codeine is winning. Whatever works, works.

Elaine Miller aka Merkin lady.

Merkins... Elaine Miller holyrood 22nd December 2022 just after the GRRrrrr Bill had passed Elainev stood up in the gallery and shouted "if you can't be decent i will be indecent" and lifted her skirt to reveal a flesh coloured pair of tights with a triangle of fun fur stuck to where her 'lady garden' would be.

THE MERKIN LADY

It was a bleak day in December when the Bill from hell was passed.
We’d all sat and listened to the most egregious lies rehashed.
Knowing that the politicians had been whipped to vote
was doomed to be the only thing to cling on to whilst we coped.
Then the voting was all over, and the proclamation read.
The women of the country felt they might as well be dead.
Our rights had just been decimated to placate the whims of men,
Nic knew what she had bloody done, but she didn’t want to ken.

Then like an angel from above the heroine of this piece
floated from the sky on clouds of silk and fluffy geese.
She floated through the air like a sky nymph wrapped in love,
surrounded on her journey by a pitying of turtle doves.
They gently placed her…

What do you mean it didn’t happen quite like this?
This is my re-telling of that moment of historic bliss.
Can’t I have my fantasy of how it all played out?
Shit! Imagine if the history books believed me without doubt!
OK! Ignore that bit. Scrub from ‘Then like an angel from above’
So back on to the true version of my historic merkin love…

After the Bill was passed, and in a fit of pique,
Elaine Miller, she decided, that she just had to speak.
And as she finished speaking, she lifted up her skirt,
and the merkin of this tale proved to be an extrovert.
It flashed itself to Parliament and to a recording phone.
Then, it hit the world stage, and now it sits upon its throne.

A piece of women’s history was sealed in that moment.
A highlight in the misery. A most wonderful bestowment
to those who’ll pass the story on to the future generations:
The Merkin Lady raised her skirt, to save them from privations.
She stood up for her rights, and what she knew to be so true,
to make the world a better place for every one of you.

And so now the Merkin Lady holds a spot within my heart.
She makes a smile appear, for what she did was like fine art.

Screams "I LOVE YOU ELAINE" (The stalker vibes emanating off me are purely coincidental. Honest!)

How is the pain, and the codeine levels? Are you reducing yet?

I was watching the Netflix series about oxycontin last night and there's this bit where the guy had dropped his oxy tablet and it's rolled under the fridge and he's lying on the floor with a torch desperately trying to find it. That's ridiculous thought I, you wouldn't be that desperate for your next dose.

30 minutes later I go to take my night time pills (that I should have taken about two hours earlier but had got sidetracked) and I'm scrambling around on the floor with a torch trying to find my oxycontin tablet that had just leapt out of my hands and under the bed!

Life imitating art!

I did try lifting the caramel wafer tin with the tea cakes on off the bottom tin with the caramel logs and the snowballs in but it was too heavy 😶 so I had to eat the tea cakes to make it easier to get the lid off the tin with the caramel wafers, then eat the caramel wafers to make the tin light enough to lift off the tin with the caramel logs and the snowballs.

Of course! I was suffering temporary delirium from lack of Tunnocks.

No debate?? The definition on the website says “teacake biscuit” I mean how can something simultaneously be a cake and a biscuit? This just sums up the whole Tunnocks fence sitting, cake eating, Starmeresque, wibble wobble position on the GC v TRA issue surely?

It is a bit will you make your bloody mind up isn't it

Unlike Labour and Kier however I don't care if Tunnocks turn out to be TRAs from the boardroom to the factory floor.

I would have to accept we had differing views. I might swear and mentally spit before each one, the shrine and Christmas decorations would have to go, and obviously I'd find a way of buying them in large enough quantities that Tunnocks profits from my addiction were as small as possible, but I would live with it.

I close my eyes
Pull up my duvet
In the darkness
And hope to dream
Of sweet things
Of perfect diamond patterned wafers
Nestled next to layered caramel like lovers
Shrouded in chocolate
A thin robe of silken sweetness
In the darkness
I lie awake
Awaiting slumber
And slowly drift on clouds of mallow
Sticky sweetness
Encased in a dome of delight
These sweet dreams
Lead me through the night
Under the duvet
In the darkness.

Oh heavens! Tunnocks and duvets and darkness! Urghhhhhh 😁😁😁

@CervixSampler you know I'm not even asking don't you! I'm just snatching it up and sticking it in my pocket and it will magically appear on the other thread at some point unless you stick it there before me. Hint. Hint.

That was not s supposed to be Urghhhhhh. It was supposed to be aaaaahhhhhh! Fuck you autocorrect!

Tunnocks. Love them all, especially caramel logs. Might I suggest popping your Tunnocks coconut snowballs into the freezer? At the back, under the broccoli where no-one will find them. Fifteen minutes will suffice. This extra step will make your coconut snowballs even more delectable, and stretch the thirty second consumption time to three minutes. 👌

I did wonder if I could stick a coffee stirrer in them and make snowball snowballs that were easy to hold by leaving them in the freezer. Your post gives me hope I wouldn't be sacrificing a perfectly good snowball! And I actually have, amazingly for someone who only eats vegetables about twice a year, a bag of frozen broccoli that's been at the back of the freezer since pre covid!

Fetishes 🙄 No autocorrect that was not the word i was looking for! Relishes the thought of a snowball lasting longer than 30 3 seconds..

Well they are standing up for the right to hold lesbian dating events.

I guess you could call that "anti trans" if you wanted, but it's pretty clearly a "gay rights" issue to be able to hold lesbian events without having to include biological males. Homosexuality is about same sex attraction.

So I guess you either have to give the LGB Alliance credit, or you have to take the position that lesbians should be forced to include males at their dating events?

That's just calling out to be set to music.

You really want the interpretive dance version of the poems to happen don't you?

Hi Beetle,

The pain is 'manageable' in that it no longer dominates every waking moment. I'm down to 150mg of codeine which is why I have more pain than I could have but I can't go back to work until I get to zero codeine.

Thanks very much for asking. You sound worse off than me although any tablet that I dropped on the ground would stay there. When do you get the scan results?

Glad to hear it's going in the right direction at least. You'll get there eventually. Just don't do anything daft to put you back at square one. It's the perfect excuse to delegate every task that currently involves doing things that won't actively help to make you better! Any push back just hold your back with a pained expression on your face (shouldn't be difficult right now I'd guess).

Obviously there will be no need to outsource the Tunnocks eating, but the delivery can be (unless walking to the kitchen and back counts as the prescribed exercise for the day!)

If I didn't have the cats I probably would have left the tablet on the floor and just got another one from the packet, but I'm paranoid a cat might accidentally mistake it for a missed cat treat.

The scan from the appointment that had to be rearranged due to twat features (complaint in) was OK, nothing changed from previous scan, so waiting for a telephone appointment slot to come through to discuss with consultant what he wants to do.

And the CT scan I'm still waiting on the findings, but as I didn't hear anything in the first few days I think I can safely assume I'm not going to be down dead anytime soon!

So no further forward in locating the official cause of a mystery pain but at least I'm just in pain and not in pain and being asked if I've got an up to to date will!

Today's big decision - Tunnock's Wafers or that other Scottish delicacy, Empire biscuits for my treat this weekend. Please don't shun me for deciding on Empire biscuits.

BOTH!

Obviously!

See - I thought both too, @Boiledbeetle - but if I get any bigger they'll need a forklift to get me out of the house.

But a Tunnock's wafer doesn't have too many calories, does it?

Decisions, decisions!

Supermarket delivery has been.

Foil wrappers already hitting the kitchen bin.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4873557-tunnocks-thread-2?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I'm sorry i couldn't let this die when we are at such an important stage of our quest to true Tunnocks enlightenment..

You had better all appear on the new thread in a timely, orderly and with Tunnocks crumbs on your chin manner.

shouldn't@ be hard for @Chersfrozenface it appears she has many many crumbs on her chin currently.

and @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I thought Tunnocks products were zero to low calorie? or have I misread the packaging? Dont tell me if I have.

Chin, singular?

Continues on thread 2