Ginny - an update

[idontknowwhattosay23]

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

I wonder how the boss will react when Ginny has a problem with them?
I'd stick around just for that.

Sorry to come back and be flippant again but just re-read this:
"Every time they go for an evening out with friends, without fail, they are sexually harassed and approached by "very wealthy and handsome married men" but they are "not homewreckers and won't be made to feel like a cheap whore"

Please could you give Ginny my number to pass along to a very wealthy and handsome married man? Although I'm happy to be a cheap whore, I've got expensive tastes 😀 hopefully I'll be beautiful enough.

Your replies have given me deep food for thought as well as lots of laughs this evening, it was much needed, so thank you all.

As for laughing in the meeting, it was actually the opposite at the time. I'm beginning to see the funnier (and utterly ridiculous side) much more now! But at the time I felt humiliated being asked to apologise to them. Mainly because there was very little context given to the group and I was painfully aware that from an outside perspective it must have just looked like I verbally abused someone in a bathroom. I was also quite angry the more that Ginny went on and on, because I couldn't shake the feeling it was all made up hyperbole and some sort of public fetishising. I felt forced to be a front row attendee to the Ginny fantasy hour. Almost like being locked in a room with a very poorly written erotic novel being read aloud through speakers you can't shut off.

I didn't actually learn anything now I really think about it? I know that some trans people do corporate talks and events for inclusivity and diversity training, and I imagine those must include some sort of history or touching stories (I'm guessing, I've never been to one) but this really was just someone rattling off different scenarios where they are the object of someone's admiration and desire. I honestly can't think of one thing they said that wasn't entirely self indulgent or smacked of fantasy. And I have no idea how it pertained to the work environment at all.

Gosh just remembering now actually, they said something like "I have had male privilege in the work place for 25 years, Cis women have never known the privilege so can't miss it like I do"

That's the only thing I recall them saying that directly related to the workplace but even now I can't make head nor tail of what they were getting at. They've had nothing BUT special treatment in our office, I'm irked just thinking about it.

Wish me luck for tomorrow 😩

Or actually, wish the new starts luck! I can't imagine the stress of walking into this dumpster fire on your first day.

I hope the poor sods haven't given up good jobs to start at yours, op.

Honestly, I don't know how you sat through all of that 😑
It's making me angry just imagining it. I would have felt like walking out after 5 minutes (but probably would have been frozen from the sheer horror of the whole thing).
What a ritualistic public shaming that was -- utterly bizarre, as are all the other anecdotes.
I really feel for you, something very weird is happening there!

Gosh just remembering now actually, they said something like "I have had male privilege in the work place for 25 years, Cis women have never known the privilege so can't miss it like I do"

I mean...WTF 🤯
"I'm so special I must be treated as the most special and best woman of all and you wouldn't understand because you're not special and irresistible like meeeee"

Having read your previous thread and now this….. WOW!

How is it possible for someone to operate at this level of extreme delusion?!!! The comment about trying to tone down the make up/clothes so as to not outshine any actual women really made me LOL!

At the risk of sounding like a nasty hateful person….,, I hope you and your colleagues (except one) find better employment and your current company collapses. Your manager deserves to fail.

I am imagining the youtube video, kindly shared by Ginny when someone convinces them they would like to see it because they are interested in hearing the points again.

You could then use it to write a transcript of the meeting.

But more interesting would be a psychological analysis of the video in the style of Geoffrey Beattie, Big Brother psychologist.... 'we can see here where the employee is clearly doing XYX.. '

Apologies for offloading my own fantasy on what is a completely shocking situation. I cannot even begin to explain why your boss is behaving in this way or why he would fail to see the impact of this on the rest of his staff.

I could only do it because of the excellent advice here on the other thread, that's absolutely a given. There are some incredibly clever and level headed women on this board and I will be forever grateful.

What's driving me cuckoo now is why on earth my lovely, helpful, kind boss has done a 180 and gone full activist. It makes no sense and the more I dwell on it the more I'm convinced something is going on. But the last thing in the world I need is getting into trouble trying to dig at the truth of it. It won't get me anywhere will it. I'm just desperate to know 😩 I hate a mystery.

No idea why formatting is like that

I remember your last thread, good luck for tomorrow

I am spitting feathers on your behalf.

I hope you can find a new job soon. I do suspect there will be a high level of staff turnover - you won't be the only one thinking, "WTAF".

Ginny just may end up bringing the company down... bet the boss didn't see that coming.

This is so funny 🤣

And actually a really good point because I think, and this is just my opinion, but their ego is so huge that if they just had the smallest bit of encouragement they will 100% post that video, if they haven't already. I have been searching all week and can't see it but I have the strongest suspicion it's either up already or will be shortly. The tone of it, the wording, the mannerisms it was all very much in the style of someone trying to be very prophetic and interesting, like it was filmed to be seen if that makes sense? It wasn't a natural delivery amongst colleagues it was like a big speech. Plus I've heard from another colleague that Ginny has been saying she's been approached for public speaking on trans issues and I'm thinking the purpose of filming that meeting was to be almost like a show reel? I don't know, I'm clutching at straws but I won't stop until I can share either the video or audio, whatever comes first!

Plan B, befriend Ginny and lavish them with the attention they crave (🤮) until I can get the video out of them? Worth it?

Because companies are terrified of not being "supportive" to trans people and being outed and harassed on social media. So they're going above and beyond to seem accommodating, whilst alienating every born female that works for them

One reason your boss may have gone full TRA is done to good old misogyny. Ginny’s male voice enters his head and is listened to and believed 100%. Have you ever been in a mixed group of people and you say something that nobody acknowledges then a few minutes later a man says the exact same thing and everyone says “Oh yes! Good point!”. Same thing. Doesn’t matter what women have been through, it takes a man talking for someone to say “Gosh, that sounds really difficult. Tell me about it…”.

Add into the mix an incline to be inclusive (accepting a non-“normal” bloke into proceedings is probably easier than someone who is disabled etc) and wanting to Be Kind, you’ve got a perfect growing medium for Gender Bollix.

Theres a great clip of Helen Joyce talking to Jordan Peterson where she’s talking about trans parents who have to fully commit to GI otherwise they’ll have to admit they have drastically harmed their child. They would rather burn everything to the ground than admit they might be wrong. Once you accept the Gender Gods you can never question their teachings!

Have you checked out GC Twitter? Many, many lawyers who would be able to offer advice on constructive dismissal/ your rights etc.

It's possible that the boss's kind and helpful nature is a big part of the problem. A lot of people have been sucked in. This issue has been placed at the heart of equality and eliminating discrimination, and what kind of baddie doesn't want equality?! People are bombarded with "be kind" messages and false statistics about people like Ginny being more vulnerable and oppressed than anyone else. More likely to take their own lives etc. Some of the messaging has been from very reputable organisations. Some of the opposition to it has been from people whose other views are found abhorrent by many of us.
It's been the cleverest and most successful con of my lifetime.

I'm both speechless and angry at what you're posting. The futility you are feeling is shining through your posts and makes me want to cry with both anger and sorrow for what you're having to deal with. It's so unjust.

Just as women are getting to the point of getting the rights they deserve, men (NAMALT) find a new way to fuck it all up for us

I am raging on your behalf!

How dare your boss allow this man to sexually harass you, then make you apologise?

I'm pretty sure the trans woman status is a red herring re sexual harassment - I think anyone can sexually harass anyone else it doesn't have to be opposite sex, just inappropriate conduct relating to your sex.

No wonder you're feeling terrible, as others have said you've been treated appallingly then gaslighted. Where was your apology about a man making you feel threatened when you were vulnerable - actually in the toilet?!

Urgh. It sucks. Good luck tomorrow and focus on getting out of there.

💐

Ginny is 100% off the rails and is wreaking havoc. But they are still a human being, and you don't call human beings 'it'.

"It" is a pronoun

Yes, but not one used for human beings. It is dehumanising.

Even when a person is causing great destruction, they are still a human being.

"I have had male privilege in the work place for 25 years, Cis women have never known the privilege so can't miss it like I do"

Every time I think there cant be more horror from this story (your life OP) there is another one.

So now claiming double discrimination, has lost male privilege and is being harassed as a woman.

And the be kind brigade think we are over the top in our stories about trans self agrandising.

Best wishes for tomorrow and until you go on holiday.

I hope you can avoid Ginny as much as possible and not be trapped into his silly mind games.

Shame on your boss.

Didn’t see the first thread but wanted to offer my support. You have been treated horribly. I can only imagine the psychological torment you have been through.

I hope you land a new job and it id great! I wish we had s secret society of women working together who could speed you into a new position. It feels dystopian, snd like we need such a sisterhood.

This all sounds absolutely mad! You know what, I would try and think of it as not personal anymore, since it sounds like Ginny has now pissed off everyone (except maybe the boss).

I know you said you are looking for another job, but you also said you really liked this one until Ginny came along and that it's convenient. I'd be tempted to bide my time and keep my head down for a bit (especially now you have a nice separate women's office!). It's entirely likely that Ginny will mess up big time and end up leaving. I'm just thinking, don't cut off your nose to spite your face, job wise!

It is despicable that this has happened to you OP ❤️