Ginny - an update

[idontknowwhattosay23]

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

Gosh I can't imagine anyone wants to hear any more of this! It doesn't get any better and I feel like I should have been a GC warrior and not a victim to it, it's not a wonderful example of women standing their ground 😩 I'll make another thread if anyone wants a final update when I find out about the job? Although typing that I've just realised if I don't get the job it won't be the flipping final anything will it 😩

I'm glad you're getting a break.

Obviously I hope very much that you get the job, but if you don't, ask them for feedback on the interview so that you know what points to work on before the next application. It's all learning experience, helping you to grow your career. I know it's been hellish, but even in the couple of weeks you've been posting on here you've developed and learned, and that is all going to feed into your future.

G the DJ sounds toe-curling. Why is this appropriate work behavior?

Oh please update - I checked back to see if you have job updates, I want the good news when you get it!!

Whether you get the job or not, by the time you return from your summer holiday it's a fair bet that Ginny will have pushed everyone to the brink of no return. So hopefully by the time you return there will no longer be a Ginny problem to put up with.

So many questions from what you describe going on in the office, but ... given the pressures on you OP will wait to hear more as and when possible.

In the meant time hope you have good news on friday, and if for some reason you dont get the job you have made a huge step forward, application sent, first interview secured, and then second soon after.

Not sure how busy your holiday will be, but gives you time to look round more in your own time if you need to.

And please there is no pressure to start another thread if you dont want, what with everything else going on.

One of us could start a "Have you ever worked with a Ginny" thread.

Hope you have a really great time away from having to live as though someone else's madness is sanity.

OP you have been an inspiration.

We're all rivetted and many of us have been gagging for the next update. I think you are a good role model - pragmatic, not attempting to fight a battle you can't win, but also not being prepared to prop up the charade. Putting your and your children's needs first, treating your colleagues with respect, doing your job. Many people would have crumbled.

Workplace bullying is horrible even without the confusions of genderism and the old boys club, and trying to fight it in-post is doomed - all you can do is retreat and try to build a saner world around yourself.

I do hope you get the job Op, but even if you don't, it's great to have the experience of the interview and no doubt you'll find another job soon.

Enjoy the break & hope you're able to fully relax & forget all about the G nonsense!

Remember the oxygen mask - in case of emergency you put your own on first, so that you survive to help others. Heroic self sacrifice is often futile.

Fingers cross with the job and enjoy the break. Always worth keeping an eye out for other jobs whilst you are off, just in case. Remember we are all with you OP as it could easily be one of us having to deal with a misogynist man in a dress and lipstick pretending to be a woman on a daily basis.

When did it become OK to do this? Women are cut down for wearing braids as it is cultural appropriation but a man wearing a dress and wig is completely acceptable and you are a TERF (which I proudly am) for which you deserve to die (or be punched in the face at least).

I agree with all of this, @idontknowwhattosay23 you may not feel like it but you have been, and still are, an inspiration!
Enjoy your time off, remember to look after yourself and especially your mental health, if a return to the G workplace is inevitable and is causing stress, contact your GP. Please.

@idontknowwhattosay23 please do post again when you go back after hols. The situation is beyond outrageous, I do hope there’s some justice (I really mean comeuppance) at the end of it all, an opening of eyes etc.

Enjoy your holiday and your beautiful children, they are blessed to have you as their Mum. Forget about the office shitshow and know that dozens, maybe hundreds, of us are wishing you fine weather, good food and great company.

Best of luck with an offer for the new job.

But there's no way that Ginny can last in the office at the rate he is escalating. Hope someone managed to video that pool table display for the boss. How on earth can you handle client conversations with that music racket going on, it's unprofessional in the extreme.

Yes, Ginny could cause all sorts of havoc in the month you’re away, @idontknowwhattosay23 . I do hope you update us all when you go back to work - presumably you’ll have to work some notice if you get the other job?

Anyway, forget about it all for the summer, and fingers crossed you get good news on Friday.

OP, you HAVE been a warrior! You've kept a roof over your children's heads and food in their mouths and I think you've been admirable. It's not your fault at all that these are the circumstances and your family and paying your bills are more important in this instance!

Best of luck with the job and I hope you enjoy your holiday!

I'd just close down MN after tomorrow OP and have a fabulous holiday. If you don't get the job then you can regroup when you get back to work. If you do then you can breathe a sigh of relief.

The boss is a complete idiot. Giving up a thriving business for a man who keeps sexually harassing all his female staff. Shame on him.

Blimey, I'd love to know the male colleague's take on it when he leaves and says what he thinks!
Best of luck OP, I think the thread is a very useful snapshot of things that CAN happen in the name of transclusivity, so you've done a helpful thing by sharing it. We've all been horribly fascinated and invested in how it's evolved.

Good luck for Friday. From my experience with interviewing, you only give someone a tough interview if you're interested in them.If you were an instant rejection, they wouldn't put the effort in.

Well done for getting your first interview and either way it's the first step to exciting new things. Even if you don't get it, it's practice for getting on the next ladder rung and I hope you get either this one or something similar soon. You've handled this well and are getting a well deserved rest. Just put the poor buggers stuck in the office with three weeks of that. Nelly Futardo is ruined for me forever now haha!
Remember, you have been very professional through this and have shown you can handle yourself in the face of bullying. You should be proud. No need to update but am crossing my fingers for you and sending good vibes.

Have a great holiday OP and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you on the new job front!

OP you’ve been amazing and really brave, you’ve played the long game and not lost the moral high ground (no matter how much the boss and Ginny suggested you had!).

Really hope you got the job but please don’t worry if not - you have time to look for something else 💐

Absolutely disgusted that the boss ignored the letters as well. The brass neck of him!

So impressed by you, OP. Have a lovely break now. And good luck with the job hunt.

We have got to have a celebration party on Friday. We will either celebrate your new job or celebrate the fact that we are (real) women supporting (real) women. Keeping everything crossed OP that it’ll be the former.

Although typing that I've just realised if I don't get the job it won't be the flipping final anything will it

Its not the only job in the world though, nor the only job that’s a step up, so in the (hopefully unlikely!) event that you don’t get this one there will be another. And you’ll have had a practice run at interviews.

But anyway, all crossables well and truly crossed for Friday. And a lovely relaxing break.

Please keep us updated!!!! 😀

Fingers crossed that you've got the job and can get out of Dodge very soon.