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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Ginny - an update

1000 replies

idontknowwhattosay23 · 09/07/2023 13:02

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
BabyStopCryin · 14/07/2023 07:36

And when it all comes crashing down everyone ‘didn’t know’, ‘was against them really’ or were only following orders…

Tricyrtis2022 · 14/07/2023 07:55

Just want to add my best wishes for your interview today, OP. You've shown yourself to be both sharp and resilient in the face of an awful situation. In that interview, there will be a great many of us rooting for you..

Treaclemine · 14/07/2023 08:06

Just adding my good wishes for the interview.

ZeldaFighter · 14/07/2023 08:07

Another one wishing you good luck with the interview today 😀 your posts have been insightful and articulate so just let your natural talent and skills show 😀

BezMills · 14/07/2023 08:08

Good luck @idontknowwhattosay23 chin up, best foot forward!

Silvered · 14/07/2023 08:11

Just caught up - bloody hell, what a shitshow.

OP you have ovaries of steel. Best of luck today Flowers

JoyousAsOtters · 14/07/2023 08:23

Fingers crossed here for your interview this morning OP.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 14/07/2023 08:26

dunBle · 14/07/2023 04:24

Adding to the chorus of good wishes for the interview. I know it's probably too late now, but in case you see it in time, in addition to preparing for the "why are you moving on " question, it might be an idea to rehearse an answer to "describe a time you resolved a difficult situation at work". Otherwise your brain is probably going to head straight to this situation, which is likely to be unhelpful. Best of luck.

@idontknowwhattosay23 - I hope you see this in good time, it seems to make great sense to me!
As another poster said, this interview will be great experience for you, whatever happens with this particular job. The very best of luck for you today, everything crossed for you that it all goes well and smoothly!

WickedSerious · 14/07/2023 08:27

Good luck today OP.

SquirrelSoShiny · 14/07/2023 08:28

SquirrelSoShiny · 10/07/2023 10:02

The boss will likely learn the hard way that nothing will ever be enough for 'Ginny' but you would be amazed how many 50+ men are bisexual and won't admit it even to themselves. Transwomen make them feel like they can continue to self-delude.

Good luck today OP x

I wrote this earlier in the thread. Your hint heightens my suspicions. If your boss is besotted with Ginny HE is now inflicting his fetish on the office too, not just Ginny. It's grotesque. All the 'come sit at a special desk near me' except traditionally it was the young office secretary. Your boss thinks he's in Mad Men only with a hulking 6ft secretary 🙄 I hope you get the job today and when you leave I hope you find a way to tell your boss's wife poor woman.

SerafinasGoose · 14/07/2023 08:41

Best of luck with your interview today, OP!

Pudmyboy · 14/07/2023 08:48

🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
We on team @idontknowwhattosay23 are rooting for you and behind you all the way, good luck, be yourself and you will be fine!

NotBasically · 14/07/2023 08:57

Your headspace today needs to be 100% on this interview, the 'old' job is old news you won't change that. You're moving on to better things x

Zebracat · 14/07/2023 09:15

You are so so lovely. Honestly, so balanced and clear, you write beautifully, you listen really well, you are clearly realistic, practical, intelligent, easygoing, creative, hard working, and so ready to learn. You will be an asset to anyone lucky enough to get you.
when they ask you could tell them that your current employment has been a wonderful springboard, but you are ambitious and ready to take it to the next level.
if the interviewer has anything about them, they will see all that quickly any way.
But don’t undersell yourself. You really are good. And wear something bright that you love. But not like a clown suit or anything. That wouldnt work.🤪

TimeLady · 14/07/2023 09:16

SquirrelSoShiny · 14/07/2023 08:28

Good luck today OP x

I wrote this earlier in the thread. Your hint heightens my suspicions. If your boss is besotted with Ginny HE is now inflicting his fetish on the office too, not just Ginny. It's grotesque. All the 'come sit at a special desk near me' except traditionally it was the young office secretary. Your boss thinks he's in Mad Men only with a hulking 6ft secretary 🙄 I hope you get the job today and when you leave I hope you find a way to tell your boss's wife poor woman.

Maybe they met on a 'shared interest' forum...?

It would explain a lot.

CurseYouPerryThePlatypus · 14/07/2023 09:22

Best of luck OP!

I’d love to know what the boss’ wife makes of all this, regardless of whether there’s an affair.

Boudiccabitesback · 14/07/2023 09:24

@idontknowwhattosay23 , I named changed in your honour 🌺
I will not say what is in my mind for fear of attracting the wrong attention and making things more difficult for you (and probably getting banned).
I will however add my voice to the lovely people (ladies) all supporting you on your next steps into a new stress free work place 💜
We all are rooting for you, you've got this, don't look back 😁

Beowulfa · 14/07/2023 09:35

In case you have time to look before the interview later this morning OP, I'd just like to point out that in the situation after the tantrum lock-in, YOU were the one who siezed the initiative and responded to the boss whilst your colleagues stayed silent and cowed. Exactly like the kind of bold quick-thinking that will stand you in good stead at the interview.

Myaiminlife · 14/07/2023 09:51

CurseYouPerryThePlatypus · 14/07/2023 09:22

Best of luck OP!

I’d love to know what the boss’ wife makes of all this, regardless of whether there’s an affair.

Do we know that the boss has a wife?

Silvered · 14/07/2023 09:53

Myaiminlife · 14/07/2023 09:51

Do we know that the boss has a wife?

I think OP has mentioned previously that the boss and his wife were the ones that built the business up.

porridgecake · 14/07/2023 09:53

Myaiminlife · 14/07/2023 09:51

Do we know that the boss has a wife?

Yes. It is in the thread.

unwashedanddazed · 14/07/2023 10:01

Just look at this thread - full of the loveliest women all pulling together to protect one woman. A woman we don't know and will never meet.

It's a pity these men can't see what it really means to be a woman.

Righthandcider · 14/07/2023 10:08

Zebracat · 14/07/2023 09:15

You are so so lovely. Honestly, so balanced and clear, you write beautifully, you listen really well, you are clearly realistic, practical, intelligent, easygoing, creative, hard working, and so ready to learn. You will be an asset to anyone lucky enough to get you.
when they ask you could tell them that your current employment has been a wonderful springboard, but you are ambitious and ready to take it to the next level.
if the interviewer has anything about them, they will see all that quickly any way.
But don’t undersell yourself. You really are good. And wear something bright that you love. But not like a clown suit or anything. That wouldnt work.🤪

This!

SidewaysOtter · 14/07/2023 10:11

unwashedanddazed · 14/07/2023 10:01

Just look at this thread - full of the loveliest women all pulling together to protect one woman. A woman we don't know and will never meet.

It's a pity these men can't see what it really means to be a woman.

And yet apparently we're the bad guys/Nazis/fascists/bigots/transphobes/purveyors of literal violence and genocide!

Mix56 · 14/07/2023 10:16

Your situation is traumatic on so many levels.
Personally, because you believed the boss was a fair, kind patriarch figure.
Intellectually, because Ginny is like a fox in the chicken run, pretending He is female, but reacting nothing like one,
Emotionally, because you are trapped & silenced by these men.
I pray the job interview goes well.
& before you leave (& after you have your reference !) you tell everything to your boss & his wife.
The boss has to be sexually involved with Ginny, or a closet trans, or has a close member of his family who is. because his behaviour in basically annexing his whole work force for Ginny in spite of the shit show He is creating.

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