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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Ginny - an update

1000 replies

idontknowwhattosay23 · 09/07/2023 13:02

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

OP posts:
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idontknowwhattosay23 · 13/07/2023 10:05

NotBasically · 13/07/2023 09:58

I'm wondering if you missed an opportunity to have this episode recorded including Ginny locking everyone out of the office. I bet Ginny will say it never happened and everyone is ganging up on poor Ginny.

Never in a million years did I think they'd lock us out, or I would have been tempted to record! Just didn't enter my head. It was a bit fraught, suggestion was for everyone to nip out for 5 and give G some space but it somehow instantly turned into being locked out.

Heading back round to the office now to see what the situation is. I have a horrible feeling it's going to be everyone but G who's going to get it in the neck for this.

OP posts:
NotBasically · 13/07/2023 10:05

This thread deserves to be in classics, doesn't it? 😉🍿

7eleven · 13/07/2023 10:06

I consider myself to be pretty articulate, but I can’t find the words to express how angry this makes me feel.

A trans woman doesn’t need a tampon. Fact. Irrefutable fact. It is impossible for them to mensturate.

Their pants are probably riding up because there’s an effing pair of bollocks and todger in them.

I am so angry at what is being done to women. Men start wars, earn more, have more power, are physically stronger and now want to steal our identity.

I have two baby granddaughters and I’m terrified at the world they will grow up in.

7eleven · 13/07/2023 10:09

Treaclemine · 13/07/2023 10:01

And once you're free, you have the skills to write this up as a short story, though where you would publish such transphobic work is beyond me. Call it Loretta.

Oh be quiet.

FannyCann · 13/07/2023 10:10

Heading back round to the office now to see what the situation is. I have a horrible feeling it's going to be everyone but G who's going to get it in the neck for this.

Bet the systems are all switched on and working, the coffee cleared up, the door open and Ginny confused that everyone took advantage of the boss not being there to slope off for a coffee. Hmm

TimeLady · 13/07/2023 10:11

Well, at least each of you has 13 witnesses to events unfolding this time round. Ginny can't call you all bullies or liars. I'd like to hear the men's reactions if Ginny tries to call them out too.

NotBasically · 13/07/2023 10:12

FannyCann · 13/07/2023 10:10

Heading back round to the office now to see what the situation is. I have a horrible feeling it's going to be everyone but G who's going to get it in the neck for this.

Bet the systems are all switched on and working, the coffee cleared up, the door open and Ginny confused that everyone took advantage of the boss not being there to slope off for a coffee. Hmm

💯%

FictionalCharacter · 13/07/2023 10:16

NotBasically · 13/07/2023 09:58

I'm wondering if you missed an opportunity to have this episode recorded including Ginny locking everyone out of the office. I bet Ginny will say it never happened and everyone is ganging up on poor Ginny.

G is clearly an unhappy person. She hasn't been given the female bonding experience she wanted, including giggly chats about knickers, tampons and being catcalled. The reality of female life and conversation doesn't coincide with this fantasy and people like G are furious that they can't have this experience. Instead of accepting that they had the wrong idea about womanhood and won't get the communal airheaded giggling experience that they wanted, they conclude that they're being excluded, and they detest us for it.

First she tried being one of The Girls and messed that up. Now she's in a favoured elite group with the boss and doesn't like that either. The company isn't big enough for her to be part of a big lgbtq community. Tantrums like this morning's are caused by frustration with it all.

I predict she'll leave, but will blame everyone else for bullying and excluding her.

Zeroperspective · 13/07/2023 10:20

idontknowwhattosay23 · 13/07/2023 09:56

I have an interview tomorrow and fingers crossed should I end up getting the job, then this whole thing is going to feel like a really weird fever dream. I absolutely hold nothing against anyone who thinks it's ridiculous! I feel the same!

Noooo you can't leave until Ginny is sacked! Good luck and keep the updates coming, I'm so invested in this now it's ridiculous 😂

Florissante · 13/07/2023 10:21

Maybe Ginny is sad due to a lack of invites to girls-only pillow fights?

7eleven · 13/07/2023 10:30

This sort of nonsense is really harmful to the trans community, I think. It makes them look like idiots and polarises people.

20 years ago a teacher at the school I worked in went off in July a man, and returned in September as a trans woman. No drama or demanding of tampons. She was accepted and happily carried on working in the school for years.

It’s similar, I think, to the argument a few weeks ago about the woman sent to prison for conducting an illegal, late abortion. If a few people insist that there should be no time limit on abortions, people are going to say “Ok, I vote to make all abortions illegal.” despite that not being their preferred option.

SpottyBumPony · 13/07/2023 10:33

Well done to your colleague 20 years ago.

That isn't how this person is behaving though.

MaryJanesonabreak · 13/07/2023 10:33

Anyone still insisting that body dysmorphia is not a mental health issue should spend a week with Ginny.

Silvered · 13/07/2023 10:35

Doesn't sound like dysmorphia here - this one sounds like a classic AGP. Hence why they are more than happy not to have surgery.

7eleven · 13/07/2023 10:37

SpottyBumPony · 13/07/2023 10:33

Well done to your colleague 20 years ago.

That isn't how this person is behaving though.

Yes. The point I’m (badly) trying to make is that I think it’s possible to be accepting of inclusivity and not transphobic, whilst thinking this gender identity right is going way too far and is completely dangerous.

DeanElderberry · 13/07/2023 10:37

I was a bit worried when the OP didn't update yesterday in case something nasty had happened, but couldn't have imagined this fustercluck.

I hope the interview tomorrow works out - don't despair if it doesn't, ask for feedback, keep on keeping on.

dcbc1234 · 13/07/2023 10:37

BadSkiingMum · 11/07/2023 14:48

I recently realised that I may have worked with a very early prototype ‘Ginny’ during a 1990s Christmas job in a large department store.

They were employed as a temporary worker on a concession to sell a stereotypically female product. They were friendly and pleasant but couldn’t seem to stop making remarks about their sexual activity. For example, when leaving early, ‘I have to go now, my boyfriend’s waiting for me in bed’. Or, ‘Sorry I’m late, I was in bed with my boyfriend.’ One of the male temps said something along the lines of them being ‘a bloke dressed up’. Being about nineteen I didn’t have a clue and thought the male temp was just being a bit crude - and was too busy trying to actually stick to the gruelling shifts involved in flogging cosmetic sets throughout Christmas shopping hours, plus an unpleasant train commute. However I wonder now if the temporary job was a way to try out a new identity?

Perhaps this is a clue to the sudden change in your boss - his friend Steve asked for a job as a way of trying out being ‘Ginny’ and therefore he feels somehow responsible for the success of Ginny’s cover?

Sounds like an episode of 'Are you being served?' with John Inman 😄.

FannyCann · 13/07/2023 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pudmyboy · 13/07/2023 10:38

Zebracat · 13/07/2023 09:47

I can’t wait for the next update. This is better than Wimbledon.

Absolutely!!!

L1342 · 13/07/2023 10:39

Silvered · 13/07/2023 10:35

Doesn't sound like dysmorphia here - this one sounds like a classic AGP. Hence why they are more than happy not to have surgery.

What’s AGP?

FannyCann · 13/07/2023 10:41

Twitter thread

twitter.com/transmpireslayr/status/1679201683476213788?s=46

DeanElderberry · 13/07/2023 10:43

google will help you re: AGP. Add trans to get to the relevant result.

Rightsraptor · 13/07/2023 10:43

You can buy camera detectors on the Internet. I've been meaning to get one. If I were working with a Ginny, I definitely would.

Silvered · 13/07/2023 10:46

7eleven · 13/07/2023 10:37

Yes. The point I’m (badly) trying to make is that I think it’s possible to be accepting of inclusivity and not transphobic, whilst thinking this gender identity right is going way too far and is completely dangerous.

I think that's where a lot of people used to be - I know I was.

I had no problem sharing loos with transwomen. They went in, went about their business and got on with their lives just like everyone else. The crucial thing was that they didn't believe that putting on a dress made them women.

What changed was being told that I was "cis", that I had privilege because I was a natal female, that transwomen deserved access into female toilets, female prisons, female DV and rape shelters, female sports, female hospital wards, female scholarships and awards. That being a lesbian was a genital preference that needed to be "unlearned". That having an abortion was "cis privilege". That women can have penises and we need to "normalise the bulge".

That's when it changed for me. They pushed too far and then were surprised when women turned round and said "no more".

L1342 · 13/07/2023 10:47

DeanElderberry · 13/07/2023 10:43

google will help you re: AGP. Add trans to get to the relevant result.

Thank you. I understand now. I was Googling it before and nothing was coming up

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